Does he want to get back with me?
I have been separated from my husband for around 2 years. In fact it is nearly exactly two years since he moved out. We were married for two and together for four years. He was, I thought, the love of my life. Unfortunately I found some things out that I didnt deal very well with and on reflection we had become quite distant. I later found out he had been sleeping with a colleague from work for some of our marriage.
We kept in touch because we share a dog and over time he has seen it less and less but continues to pay towards him (I couldnt afford to keep it otherwise.) I found out pretty early on that he had a new girlfriend and had moved in with her within months. They remain together.
In august he came go see the dog and afterwards had a coffee. I dared myself to do it to prove I could be civil and how far I had come. I've had lots of counselling to get over the break up and addressed my part in it. Initially I was quite poorly.
Just recently he has seen the dog again and suggested I go with him. We talked about lots of things including some memories we shared (he does that a lot) and when we got back he looked at me like he used to. A prolonged eye contact and a certain awkwardness which he later explained was him being unsure as to whether to hug me due to covid.
Thing is.. its raised my hope. Consistently whilst I've been working on myself I have missed him. I have tried to dismiss it because I thought it was pointless. Now I dont know what to think. It is tearing me up inside not knowing what he thinks and feels; if anything. I know I cant tell him how I feel because I will come off needy and desperate. But what if I've got it completely wrong? I am so very sad about it. I would love to try again.
I am aware he has hurt me very badly in the past. But if he has improved himself as I have I believe in my marriage vows and believe he is my soul mate. We didnt handle the break up well and both had our part to play. What should I do next?