Any single women put off meeting a man from mumsnet threads?

[Angelfish2021]

Light hearted!!
I like to browse the relationship threads with a coffee when I have a spare 30 mins. Omg the men seem like absolute loosers (massive generalisation obviously) but it's texting other women, sexting other women, web cam girls, escort sites, affairs, sneaking around and gass lighting their partners/wives.
(there are some threads where women also behave as bad but the majority it's the men!)
Puts you off meeting men! Or is it just me?

In a large city in England? We didn't do it. We went out with people, but we always already knew them. And we went out with one person at a time, or were not going out with anyone. I didn't know anyone who went on solo dates with strangers. I don't even know how it would come about, pre OLD.

"Dating" was a thing Americans did on telly. There were singles nights and matchmaking agencies; those existed but those were for much older people. People in their teens and early twenties didn't 'date', where I lived anyway.

I'm happily married, but the MN relationships board has taught me that if anything happened to dh I would definitely prefer to stay single for the rest of my days. It's awful to read about what so many women put up with in their relationships.

I went on tindr just to see what's in my local area

Apparently I'm too picky as I said nope to everyone and tinder ran out of local people to show me.

We went out with people, but we always already knew them. And we went out with one person at a time, or were not going out with anyone. I didn't know anyone who went on solo dates with strangers

Yes, this is what it was like. (Though I did have a disastrous 'date' with a male friend who set me up with his friend).

If I was single MN wouldn't put me off dating.
If anything would it's the true crime podcasts I listen to! There's a lot if creepy behaviour out there and I have changed my outlook after listening to these.

I think a solo date with a stranger would be really awkward. Even if it was a nice person you were compatible with the situation would feel like a job interview.

Yes I’ve done it (only once - went on 7 dates in fact but they lead to nothing) and it is - awkward as fuck.

7 dates with the same person I mean.

@SnuggyBuggy

I think a solo date with a stranger would be really awkward. Even if it was a nice person you were compatible with the situation would feel like a job interview.

It is tough especially when not the most confident.

A combination of MN, online dating, a large number of men in real life, including all of the men in my family, and the devastating heartbreak when xh left has made me very frightened of looking for a new relationship.

Equally I’m lonely, loving and optimistic. So in summary, it’s hard! I’m currently not on any dating sites but I’m trying to pluck up the courage

Bit random but I'm feeling for all the young adults who are missing out on the much berated "uni experience" and general going out with friends when young who are more likely to have to resort to this to find a partner.

So thankful I have an amazing DH but if I was single again I could not be bothered to date. There would be too many idiots out there and I couldn't be bothered with trying to find a decent one. Plus they would probably never compare. I would get a dog instead.

Agreed. Makes me wonder sometimes if every happy relationship is just one where you haven’t discovered the shit that’s happening behind your back.

If I had the wisdome and advice of MN i would have never got into a relationship with my dp. I think the advice on here is 95% sound.
I just want to be a lesbian tbh 🤷🏼‍♀️

Mumsnet or not the sad truth is that man never it had so easy to cheat.

And women too!

It's true that men never had it so easy to cheat due to online dating but also it's never been so easy for men to get sex without being in some form of a committed relationship with women. Previously it would have involved quite a lot of effort in hanging around pubs and clubs and limited them to women who were in those pubs and clubs.

Whether that's a good thing for men is a moot point. I certainly wouldn't touch a man who was a regular user of Tinder for casual sex with a bargepole. It seems to ruin men and turnthem into sleazes, and even someone with Oscar winning acting abilities can't hide that. It's also risky from a sexual health perspective.

It’s not just cheating though, it’s all sorts of disrespect. I don’t think there are enough good men to go round unfortunately, and some if us who have been burned and consequently now have high standards, are going to remain single. I’m going to give it a few years then move in with other single friends.

@Bamboo15

Agreed. Makes me wonder sometimes if every happy relationship is just one where you haven’t discovered the shit that’s happening behind your back.

I hate this by feeling it too . I still love love and love seeing other people happy so I’m not gonna completely lose hope but definitely just focusing on the basic now: kids, work, home, nature and health. Next comes friends then I’ll see how I’m fixed and what’s available.

What I've realised about men, even the 'nice' ones is deep down they are mostly so misogynistic. But they think they aren't, they're all for 'women's rights' - as long as they get to decide what they are.

If it helps, OP, my DH is a good chap. I don't start threads about him though, because what would be the point? I think that's probably the case for most mumsnetters.

@firewalkeruk

As a man who actually needs advice sometimes I have become quite addicted to MN. I think that if you take your world view of men from the relationship threads here the I wouldn't blame you for swearing off men. We men aren't perfect, God far from it but for every A-hole boyfriend or husband talked about here there is also a decent guy just trying to do the best he can and being faithful, loving and supportive to his wife and children. Also MN seems to be the home to some very angry and outright mandating women who are a major influence to the more susceptible on here. My view of MN is the same as my view of the bible, it's full of some very truthful and insightful stories but it isn't the whole and exclusive truth. If you're coming to MN looking for someone to give you the answer to your problem then you need to realise it is only you who can make the changes. In short some men BAD, some men OK.

I certainly wouldn't want to be tarred with the same brush for the wrong doings of others. No matter who they are 🤷

Smug settled since teenage years just don’t get it...they pressure you and pressure you to find someone as they think all men are like their partner!

If I were a single woman I would be put off men for life as a result of reading Mumsnet. I believe an awful
Lot of men are selfish, sexist and not very nice. Unfortunately, Mumsnet highlights that a lot of women aren't very nice either. 😕

@alliwanttodoiseatcarbs

What I've realised about men, even the 'nice' ones is deep down they are mostly so misogynistic. But they think they aren't, they're all for 'women's rights' - as long as they get to decide what they are.

I've come across so many guys who purport to be 'feminists', they're often the worst because they're masquerading the whole time. fortunately I've grown wise to it now.