Ex-husband wants to steal my house

[Al7722]

So I was married o my ex-husband for less than years, we have two daughters who live with me. Before we got married I inherited a house which I sold whilst we were married and bought one in the UK. It was always understood that it would go to the kids. My ex-husband is lazy, useless at home and let me do a full time job with a 3 hr daily commutte and all the chores whilst he sat on the couch with the kids watching TV. I finally had enough and asked for a divorce. Now he wants me to sell MY house and give him half the money eventhough he hasn't contributed a penny or carried out any handy work whatsoever in it. He doesn't care that the kids would lose their house.

My question is: has someone had a similar experience? What was the outcome? and also does anyone know a sharky lawyer who could defend me better than my current one?

Thank you so much!

@EmmaGrundyForPM - Yes he stayed at home with the kids for almost two years but didn't carry out any chores or DIY on the house or any admin tasks. I worked full time and did everything. We were together less than a year before we got married.

I had a very similar experience. I was married for 20 years to a lazy manchild who did nothing and had a child that was not his prior to meeting him.
He could not claim half my house as I had paid the mortgage off before I met him so my £200,000 of equity that I had before I met him was untouchable.
We sold that house and bought a bigger one and he was entitled to half of the equity of that one which was £10,000 which is all he got.
However you MUST consult a good solicitor to get a ball park figure of what he will be entitled to but it sounds to me as if you'll be telling your cocklodger to fuck off.
I only got divorced 2 years ago so mine is recent. You don't say how long your marriage was if it's only a couple of years he certainly won't be getting much and definitely not 50/50.
Its a really bad idea to get married again you MUST protect your assets for your children. No matter how fabulous the man is I'll never get married again.

If he’s a stay at home dad, you might be lucky if he only takes 50%.

@Tistheseason17 - Exactly! a rotten father would take a home away from their kids! I am hoping the judge will see that. I also had to request Child maintenance as he wasn't contributing hardly anything.

@Dhalia443 - he's not anymore, he works now

I should say: sold that one and bought a bigger one AFTER we were married. And he was only entitled to half the equity of that house minus my £200,000 from the date of our marriage.

He's not a SAHD though is he as the kids live with Op.

Also he gave up work for 2yrs-how long ago?

He is surely working again & providing for himself again?

@madcatladyforever - I was married for less than years. Oh believe me I am never ever getting married again! Not even if Brad Pitt asked !

@diddl - yes he has been working for over a year, he earns min wage but he also only has himself to look after.

@litterbird

Thats the delights of marriage. Works both ways. He can force a sale if marriage is over and assets and property have to be divided up. 50/50 to start but the courts do look at length of marriage too. If he isn't working and you are he could also go for spousal maintenance I believe too.

Absolutely, seen this happen to a friend of mine.

@Noshowlomo - The house is only in my name. Yes I can prove he's never changed a light bulb as my friends do all the DIY in the house as he is F* useless

Under 10 years they take into account the assets each party contributed but be prepared to have to give him a settlement. Far better to try to persuade him to walk away the marriage without the house but you won't pursue him for maintenance, legally it's not possible but you can agree between you

I forgot to mention that he's a gambler, who was gambling his spare money instead of contrinuting to the household leaving solely in charge of paying everything!

@movingonup20 - I tried for 10 months to do that!

I'm sorry you're struggling but you do realise this is what marriage means right? Shared assets?

Was he doing the childcare while you were working?

@Gooseybby - tough situation. I can prove he never did anything around the house as my friends do it all and they are willing to testify he can't even be arsed to buy and change a lightbulb. He is useless to a degree you can't imagine. he can't cook either or drive!

@FizzyDizzy121 - yes I do realise but there is also something called morals which involves not stealing what's not yours especially from an autistic 5 years old.

You need to speak to a good solicitor but my understanding was inheritance went to an individual and wasn't "family" money , perhaps a good solicitor can advise you as to proving that this is what bought your property ?

I’m sure my ex husband would say much the same about me. That I “sat on the sofa all the day with the kids and did no chores”. That doesn’t make it true though. Or especially relevant to the division of assets. Your ex did provide full time childcare for two years, enabling you to progress your career. even if he wasn’t doing DIY or changing lightbulbs.

It’s so much more complicated than yes or no. I agree you should see a solicitor.

Absolutely seek legal advice ASAP.
Good luck.

It really is impossible to say.

Usually, all marital assets - regardless of whose name they are in or what verbal agreements were made - would be split, and the starting position is 50/50.

Sometimes, the courts rule that the resident parent can stay in the house, with the children, for an agreed number of years before it is sold and the proceeds divided.

If it is a very short marriage, then allowances can be made for the assets brought into it by each partner, but I don't think that 4-5 years is considered short, legally.

I expect his argument will be that of a SAHM - facilitated your career by providing childcare, suppressed earning capacity now as a consequence, can't afford somewhere to live/host the children without selling the family home.

What advice are you getting from your solicitor? Is she giving you incorrect advice or just advice that you don't want to hear?

[quote Al7722]@EmmaGrundyForPM - Yes he stayed at home with the kids for almost two years but didn't carry out any chores or DIY on the house or any admin tasks. I worked full time and did everything. We were together less than a year before we got married.[/quote]
So he effectively took the role of SAHP. Him being at home enabled you to work FT and progress your career. Same as a SAHM with a working husband.... So he may well be entitled to a chunk of the equity -
how he gets that equity is another matter. You could sell the house, have a mesher order, or raise the funds to pay him off yourself if you can.

But go see a solicitor.

Is he happy with you having the main custody of the children? Could he argue that he wants residency or at least 50/50?

Morality doesn't come into and he is not stealing anything from your kids. You do really need to see a solicitor. His doing little in the house is not going to gave much influence on what he could claim.

Do you have a pension too?

I wasn't a SAHM but I worked evenings for 3 years when the DC were small so I could look after them during the day as dh had a senior job with long hours and little flexibility. I didn't do any DIY or change lightbulbs (too short!) but I provided child care so that dh could progress in his career. If we had got divorced I absolutely would have expected my contribution to be taken into account even though I didn't do any DIY.