Dp ended it out of the blue

[1moreRep]

So I can't believe I'm writing this. Last week I was literally daydreaming of dp proposing, and this morning he's told me he's really unhappy and is thinking about ending it. I've agreed to give him space but since then It's like he's had a personality transplant, become all mean, as if he's emotionally cut me off.

we own a house together (the sale of my last place was the deposit but we have a deed of trust to protect that money) have 2 dogs and I have 2 dds 11 and 9, from a previous relationship.

We both work and have alright jobs but I'm literally in my dream home and feel like he's pulled out the rug from under my feet. We only bought the house 15 months ago, and we're talking of marriage recently. I am just heartbroken

Shocked and trying to understand where this has come from

If i was you i would not leave what is partly yous

I reckon that he has his eye on someone , he’s just seeing how that pans out before actually telling you it’s properly over .
Living with someone who is always changing the goalposts and making you feel that whatever you do is not quite good enough, is exhausting and wears away at your self esteem so much . You end up doubting yourself , your ability to make sound decisions , whether you are ‘good enough ‘ .
Don’t worry whether he’s happy , ask yourself if you’re happy .
He sounds a grade one arsehole . You don’t see it now ,but he’ll be doing you a massive favour if he decides to leave . The life he is offering you is no life at all .

@TwentyViginti

Oh just let the self obsessed arse go.

he is moody and stone walked me this weekend and for once I hadn't done anything wrong so couldn't understand it then today ended it

So he is a sulky, moody manchild with 'standards' you struggle to keep up with. He's no loss. You'll see that in time.

This.

but I'm literally in my dream home

Won't feel like a dream home when you are living with a nightmare husband.

He sounds really nasty. I genuinely think you have had a lucky escape.

"Never give all the heart" W.B.Yeats

OP, put yourself & your DC first all of the time, not just some of the time.

Sounds very likely to be a 'had his head turned' catalyst here even if nothing's actually happened yet. Otherwise he'd have carried on getting the satisfaction he evidently gets from telling you your efforts aren't good enough. Now he gets the satisfaction of putting you in your place once and for all while swanning off into the sunset. Double win for him!
This.

It sounds like the Script.

He sounds horrible.

You must be dreadfully shaken because you love him and had plans.

But he sounds as if he will be hard work for the rest of your life if he changes his mind-or you persuade him-to stay.

Those standards are just going to get higher and higher and in the end they will be unattainable and then he will either go anyway or make you feel as if you are lacking in some way.

I don't think there is another woman, he may even have said this just to frighten and upset you and get you to try harder.

You are perfect as you are and it sounds as if no-one will ever meet his standards and no-one, including you should even try.

Ah I'm so sorry no advice really just hugs. And regardless of what happens you WILL be fine in the end xo

He sounds insufferable and exhausting. Let him go