In love after 4 months, meetings kids

[Anxiouspiggie]

I have been seeing someone for coming up to 4 months now. Due to us both having kids we currently on see each other two or three nights a week when we are both child free. I am thinking of suggesting that maybe one night a week he comes round when I have my two DDs here.

I have completely fallen for this man but we have never really discussed feelings or where our relationship is going so I am a bit nervous about suggesting this.

I really miss him when I don't see him which can sometimes be nearly 6 days between seeing each other. Should I suggest it? Is it too soon?

Let the children adjust to the breakup first and leave him out of the equation for a good period of time.

You are still in the very early stages of dating and seem very reliant on him already which isn’t healthy imo.

How many people who proclaim to be in love after four months are still together four years down the line? Probably not many.

Take it slow, there’s no rush! Your children don’t need any more upheaval in life, just relax and enjoy dating him for now.

Bloody hell there's some extreme responses here. @Anxiouspiggie you sound a bit like me, except I'm nearly 2 years separated and new bf is 5 months. I'm also anxiously attached and bf is the most secure person I've met, which is really good for me (plus all the self growth I've done before meeting him). Our kids met informally on a walk 'accidentally' at about 8 weeks in, as we both felt it was right and, like a pp has said, it gives another layer of a person to see them with their own kids and it was also important to me to see how mine interacted with his. Since then they've played together a couple of times with bf as mummy's friend. He's also been here when the kids are in bed (they don't come down as a rule) as have my female friends. Unfortunately dd heard me say boyfriend on the phone to someone, so I had to tell them I have a boyfriend (they're 6 and 9) but they don't know who it is.

I would really talk to your boyfriend about how he sees the relationship progressing. We had that chat before the kids met. And we've just said we love each other too. We've both been married so we're not proclaiming undying love or to be together forever, but we enjoy each others company and want it to continue.

However, even once the kids have met him, we wouldn't be lovey dovey in front of them for ages. So it doesn't really add much to our couple time. Hence I'm not in a hurry. It does suck not being able to see each for long stretches though, I can empathise with that

@litterbird’s advice is very sound. I think doing as litterbird suggests would really help you.