I think he has cheated on me..is he acting guilty?

[harrttonfire]

I have evidence that they guy I've been seeing for 10 months has been cheating on me.
Due to new restrictions in my area I haven't seen him in two weeks.
Last Saturday I text him and asked if I could ring him later ? He said "why do you want to ring"
I just said for a chat.
He said "no I'm a bit busy tonight ring tomorrow"
Then the next day he didn't answer but was texting ??
I said I really needed to talk and couldn't do it via text
He said "I'm not available for any calls this week"
Just text or voice note it.
I said "look it's a 5 min call,I understand if your busy (he's not ) il ring you when your sorted and in bed.
He replied "I'm not available for calls I'm afraid just text it or drop it"
I sent him a voice note.
He text saying I was being "neurotic"
I'm not..
I think he knew I was on to him,he didn't want to answer as he couldn't have time to think of what to say.
I don't understand how he couldn't have a 5 min phone conversation.
I'm not being crazy here ? This is barmy

Whatever he's been doing, you know that he's no good. Your replies to this thread make that clear. Given that, why are you giving him headspace? If you continue to engage with him then your self esteem is only going to go in one direction, you can't start the process of moving on until you block him.

Oh and please try to resist the temptation to waste your time trying to work out why he's behaving the way he is. Sometimes we don't get answers, sometimes we don't get that closure and I think this is one of those times. You can try but you'll tie yourself in knots and it'll get you nowhere. Don't give him another second of your day. Think - what can you do today that is positive and will give you that much needed boost?

Ugh, I was with someone many years ago who would try make me feel needy and clingy for suggesting normal stuff - a phone call, the odd text, spending time together. It makes you question yourself.

When I met DH it just didn’t feel like that - he would call me, suggest dates and days out, reply to messages. Healthy, normal communication.

Bin him off OP.

@harrttonfire Oh my - your last post! He has really fucked with your head. Please please just leave him. He is very very very very rude to you - seriously, you dont deserve to take that shit. You deserve kindness. Honestly. Please, raise your standards.

Walk away - dont message. His ego may mean he will chase you. Just ignore ignore ignore. Move on with your life. He is NOT a nice person.

@kursaalflyer my two best friends have told me il never be happy with him,they've warned me for months.
Apparently they could see what he was

It always amazes me how many seem to require the notion of Proof in assessing conduct in relationships. Proof is rarely relevant.

So 7 weeks ago he told you what he was like. Why are you surprised at his response this time? And you're right, he's already messed with your head. The time to call it a day is while you still recognise that.

@redcarbluecar at the beginning he was so different,really affectionate,texting and ringing all the time,fun to be around,kind.
Then he started being distant but if I asked he said I was "annoying him by asking questions"
I was just trying to get back the guy I met.
(If that makes sense )

@harrttonfire

He's reply was "Your being neurotic,you have no proof whatsoever,anyone can make a profile,nothing you spoke about in that voice note refers to me,and too be honest I'm embarrassed by your behaviour,you look obsessed with me,I'm not putting up with these accusations,I don't know why you even sent that,you were just on a rant"

Yep. He's cheated. His response trying to make you look the crazy one. Leave. Leave now. What a horrible specimen.

@harrttonfire
Look up;
DARVO,
Everyday sexism

Your answers are here ^^

Believe your women friends when they're looking out for you.

Take good care of yourself

@thosetalesofunexpected I know,I'm meeting a friend for a girls day Tuesday so hopefully that will be a nice distraction.
He's made me miserable,I feel like he's stripped me of being happy like I used to be.

How dare you ask questions!

He’s likely had his head turned by someone else but wants you to end it , hence the shitty attitude and long silences . He’s just a headfuck . This will be his behaviour from now on if you chose to stay , as he will know you will put up with it . No reason not to take a 5 min call .
Life’s to short , block and move on , find your happy place .

Don't think you've been cheated on think you've been dumped. From the sounds of it he's being trying to distance himself from you for weeks .
He's not engaging with you he's not intrested.

He is playing games with you. He wants to keep you on a string whilst still playing the field.

You don’t trust him. You are getting no pleasure from this ‘relationship’. You know there is no happy future with him.

Don’t let him control you. Block and move on.

He is just horrible, the first time he made a nasty remark should've been the end for you. Good riddance. Hold your head up high and move on and next time dump the losers as soon as they show you what they are. Life is too short for this rubbish.

Just block his number and be rid. Cheating or not, he's unavailable to you and that's a big red flag all on its own.

@harrttonfire

About 7 weeks ago I noticed he had gone really quiet,no texting as often. I said to him "your quiet lately,are you okay? Hope work isn't stressing you out again" He replied "I'm busy,this is the last time I'm telling you to stop chewing me with questions like that,speak to someone else that way,not me,your just like my ex,I'm not your property"

He didn't speak to me for 4 days until I apologised for asking him and then he said I was in a huff about it and I said I wasn't.

He has turned me insane.

I've just read this :( Move on, you are losing nothing good here.

Maybe he's not answering the phone as he has another woman there? Get rid OP, this will only end in tears

Wow he’s really done a number on you hasn’t he? Of course you’re not being neurotic, it’s sad that you even have to ask that. Please get away from him OP, listen to your friends you deserve happiness and respect

Come on, sweetheart! Don't give this guy any more headspace.
You should have been out of there the moment he said he wasn't available for any calls this week. In fact, before that, with that conversation from 7 weeks ago. He showed then that he really wasn't that into it.

Move on. You're better than that.

Just get rid now hes not worth your time or energy

Just dump his arse and get on with life. Life is way to short to mess about with an arsehole like him!
When you find a decent guy you’ll be thinking why the hell did I even look at him?
It’s rubbish now, but the only way to sort your head out is to get out. He’s only going to carry on messing you about.

Jesus reading those gave me flashbacks to my ex- he was exactly the same! Ignored me for days if I called him out on his shitty behaviour then would act like nothing happened. Twist things to make me seem like the bad guy, call me too sensitive when he upset me. In the end after nearly two years of losing myself I broke up over text and blocked him so I didn’t have to deal with the manipulation and hurt.
Now 39 weeks pregnant with an amazing man and perfectly happy, don’t settle and don’t put up with shitty men OP, there’s good ones out there. I’m sorry you’re going through this

Why are you even trying to speak with him about it? At this point it's irre3levant whether he's cheated; he's treating you appallingly.

Block his number. Move on, and be glad you aren't wasting any more of your time of this idiot.

So what if he was ‘speaking to you fine’, you found him on Tinder. Do not send another message to this man and move on. Please have some self respect OP and stop embarrassing yourself. This man can not spare 5 mins of his time for you. This advice may sound harsh but it is coming from a good place :)