I think he has cheated on me..is he acting guilty?

[harrttonfire]

I have evidence that they guy I've been seeing for 10 months has been cheating on me.
Due to new restrictions in my area I haven't seen him in two weeks.
Last Saturday I text him and asked if I could ring him later ? He said "why do you want to ring"
I just said for a chat.
He said "no I'm a bit busy tonight ring tomorrow"
Then the next day he didn't answer but was texting ??
I said I really needed to talk and couldn't do it via text
He said "I'm not available for any calls this week"
Just text or voice note it.
I said "look it's a 5 min call,I understand if your busy (he's not ) il ring you when your sorted and in bed.
He replied "I'm not available for calls I'm afraid just text it or drop it"
I sent him a voice note.
He text saying I was being "neurotic"
I'm not..
I think he knew I was on to him,he didn't want to answer as he couldn't have time to think of what to say.
I don't understand how he couldn't have a 5 min phone conversation.
I'm not being crazy here ? This is barmy

You have been 'seeing' a man for 10 months which is not a very long time. Are you even sure that you are exclusive?

It seems to me that you each have a very different vision of the type of relationship you have.

It is fairly obvious from the interaction you have described that he does not really care for you.

So I don't think the issue is whether he is or not cheating on you. It is very clear this is not someone who sees you as a valued partner in the first place.

Even if you were being neurotic (not saying this is the case), someone who cared about you wouldn’t label you that way; nor would they call you ‘obsessed’ or embarrassing. The message from him looks a bit like an attempt to manipulate you into thinking you’re in the wrong when you’re not. Don’t argue with him; just end it.

You know he's cheating why do you need to talk to him? Block him and on and be thankful you found out what he's like

He sounds like a total waste of oxygen. Block him and move on. He quite literally doesn’t give a shit about you.

@Chocolate123 I wanted to hear it from him,find out why.
I knew he wouldn't be able to lie on the phone.
I knew he would flip it on me.
I knew I would be the one in the wrong.

But if you knew what he'd try to do why bother? Take the upper hand and dump his ass

"You really need to take a long hard look in the mirror and try and figure out if you think this behaviour is acceptable"
"Your actions have ruined this,I've put up with you for months and your questioning "
(He's literally twisting things ,the questioning he's on about was it he was late one night me just saying "was the traffic bad " that's it.

Don't engage. The problem with getting in this kind of pissing contest is whether you win or lose you're covered in piss.

He sounds like a complete arsehole and you deserve better.

Dicks behave like dicks especially when questioned. Stop looking for reason. There is none.

He's gaslighting you so you never question his behaviour again. Why give him any more headspace?

Don't waste another minute on this man.

@harrttonfire

He's reply was "Your being neurotic,you have no proof whatsoever,anyone can make a profile,nothing you spoke about in that voice note refers to me,and too be honest I'm embarrassed by your behaviour,you look obsessed with me,I'm not putting up with these accusations,I don't know why you even sent that,you were just on a rant"

If that's how he uses grammar and punctuation - LTB!

I do think I deserve better than this.
He has made me reflect on my behaviour and think did I do something wrong.
I feel like he has mentally fucked my head tbh.

OP, have a look in the mirror, tell yourself how much better than this you are. And then move on.

If he has been talking on Tinder you aren't neurotic this and his responses suggest that he doesn't see himself in a relationship with you and I would just not bother to contact him again. He sounds like he has moved on and couldn't be arsed to tell you. Charming !

You only have one response, surely?

Fuck off and then block him!

He is, at the very, very best, an unpleasant, deliberately hurtful twat. So dump him by text and forget he exists. Everyone deserves a partner better than he is?

Don't carry on with someone like this. It's unikely to get any better. He's making it so you finish with him.

And when you look at what he’s said he hasn’t actually denied it, he’s just said you have no proof and had a go at you for asking him. Slippery little shit.

You need to fuck him off!
What a complete fister of a man!!

What are you gaining from wasting anymore of your time trying to figure out what he has done and why he has done it?

You already know what he has done.. and you know damn well you're not going to get the truth out of him. He blatantly lied to you, and gaslighted you.

Stop wasting your time with him. Just block the loser and leave him to his pathetic life of asking girls online "What are you wearing?" ...do you seriously want to spend anymore time and energy on someone like that?!

Forget him, move on with your life and find someone decent.

Message him:

“I’m really surprised by the way you’ve brushed me off. For all you know something bad might have happened that I needed to talk to you about - so much for support. As it happens it wasn’t bad, I’ve come into a fair bit of money and it’s freaked me out and I wanted to speak to you. No problem, I’ve got a friend helping me instead. Thanks for nothing. I won’t bother you again.”

🤣🤣

Your phone will be red hot with him trying to get in touch. And you ignore EVERY CALL and tell him ‘I’m not available at all this week for calls. Text it instead and I might pick it up soon. Bit busy at the moment’

😁

What confused me is he was speaking to me fine until I said I had something I wanted to talk about then he began acting dodgy.

What's confusing? You know he's cheating. He twigged you were onto him. He didn't want to have that convo. It's the clearest thing in the world.

About 7 weeks ago I noticed he had gone really quiet,no texting as often.
I said to him "your quiet lately,are you okay? Hope work isn't stressing you out again"
He replied "I'm busy,this is the last time I'm telling you to stop chewing me with questions like that,speak to someone else that way,not me,your just like my ex,I'm not your property"

He didn't speak to me for 4 days until I apologised for asking him and then he said I was in a huff about it and I said I wasn't.

He has turned me insane.

2 options
Try to salvage the relationship - no chance of ever having a happy life.
Dump, delete and move on - every chance of having a happy life.

"I'm not available for any calls this week"

Wtf says that ? You are not seeing this guy . Honestly ? Walk away and ignore him .

Hi Op You are not neurotic its just his way of deflecting,projectingprojecting,inflicting his shitty behaviour back at you, your are far too good for this moronic Arsehole, raise your self respect an keep your dignity, I know what it is like,a lot of us do, Look after yourself,treat yourself as if you are getting over a illness such as eating healthy eating comfort foods,watching funny or feel good movies or tv proggrames ,listening to good music,chatting keeping in touch with good friends,having a lovely spa type pamper session in your bath if you can't book a spa session at a beauty parlour,(One day when you feel better in yourself you be thinking god what on earth did I see in that Loser take care

Is there something you like about him?