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Original poster

Age gap relationship

66 replies

Lozzi23 · 14/10/2020 18:46

I’m 14 years older than my partner, just wondered how many other relationships have an age difference and how you feel about it?

OP posts:
thirstythirsty · 14/10/2020 18:49

9 years difference. Don't mind it at all. I'm 26 he's 35 and have been together over 10 years!

Original poster
Lozzi23 · 14/10/2020 18:52

@thirstythirsty thanks! that’s great to hear, when we are together it’s like we are the same age, I just worry about the future, then I tell myself to just enjoy now!!!!

OP posts:
Iamclearlyamug · 14/10/2020 18:53

11 years - I’m 31 he’s 42 and been together 4 years. Age gap doesn’t bother me as I’ve never dated anyone my own age, I’ve always wanted older guys

thirstythirsty · 14/10/2020 18:57

Yes just enjoy it! Because I was so young when we got together a lot of people told us it wouldn't it last! When we are together we are like the same age in fact in probably the more mature one out of us both!

Original poster
Lozzi23 · 14/10/2020 19:05

I’m 52 and he’s 38 😱 he’s definitely more mature than me tho 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Lozzi23 · 14/10/2020 19:08

@Iamclearlyamug good to hear 😍

OP posts:
wishywashy6 · 14/10/2020 19:18

I'm 38 he's 27. Been together 2 and a half years and we don't notice the age difference 🤷🏼‍♀️

Original poster
Lozzi23 · 14/10/2020 19:25

@wishywashy6 brilliant, there’s probably a lot more age gap realationships than I thought xxx

OP posts:
secretdiaryofacallcentregirl · 14/10/2020 19:42

I'm 25, he's 39. I had a child young, he's always lived the bachelor life but was ready to 'settle down', mentally, we balance eachother out in so many ways. Together 3.5 years and everyone who knows us would say we're a great fit.

ComtesseDeSpair · 14/10/2020 19:43

Ten years; which I don’t really think of as a significant age gap except when it comes to the logistics of e.g. career and retirement: I’ll (all going well) be reaching the top of my career game in my early fifties and will want to keep working until I make it as high as I can go whereas he’ll be looking to retire some years before me and travel etc.

AlternativePerspective · 14/10/2020 19:49

I often wonder when people say things like “the age gap really makes no difference; when we’re together it’s like we’re the same age,” etc. Who are they trying to convince? I mean if people were happy with their relationships then they wouldn’t need to seek validation from other people would they?

My own DP is only six years older than me, but I wouldn’t consider an age gap of ten/twelve years to be that big a deal.

For me personally I think that any age gap where one could essentially be the parent of the other is grim, but as long as both parties are legal then that’s their lookout really.

DrMorbius · 14/10/2020 19:56

My rule is double digits is to big. 9 years absolute maximum.

I have to laugh thirstythirstythanks! that’s great to hear that you would take comfort from a relationship that has a 25 year old going out with a 16 year old. I shudder to think where you draw the line.

Bouledeneige · 14/10/2020 19:59

I have to laugh thirstythirstythanks! that’s great to hear that you would take comfort from a relationship that has a 25 year old going out with a 16 year old. I shudder to think where you draw the line.

This. I thought teachers got arrested for that!

movingonup20 · 14/10/2020 19:59

The only thing it will impact is retirement, we are 8 years apart. Thankfully my work pension kicks in at 60 because it was started before the women's pension age change, and hopefully money isn't so much an issue as we'll be mortgage free a few years before and our respective kids are all adults already

AlwaysLatte · 14/10/2020 20:01

My husband is 20 years older.

bluefor · 14/10/2020 20:03

@thirstythirsty genuine question. Do you ever find it weird that at 25 they wanted to date a 16yo? Or did your friends/family?

Newwoman2017 · 14/10/2020 20:06

I am 7 and a half years older than my husband. It has never been a problem until recently I think I've lost the plot im 48 menopausal and I hate the way I look.

newnameforthis123 · 14/10/2020 20:11

@thirstythirsty

9 years difference. Don't mind it at all. I'm 26 he's 35 and have been together over 10 years!
I think while other people are sharing age gap relationships were both parties were adults from the outset, a 24/25 year old man dating a 15/16 year old girl is highly questionable. There's such a huge gap in life experiences and maturity that it's totally imbalanced. Being a 'grown up' 15 or 16 (which some people describe themselves as retrospectively) doesn't make it healthy or appropriate to be in a relationship with someone in their 20s.
AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 14/10/2020 20:17

My wonderful amazing late DH was 22 years older than me. Our relationship was so happy and I don't regret anything. Being widowed in my 30s was shit but I would take that over having never known him. He made my life so much brighter just by his existence.

thirstythirsty · 14/10/2020 20:30

Knew that would get them kind of responses. I don't understand the issues. I mean yes I was young but honestly doesn't seem that big of a deal to me. I was still at school when we started taking (we met online) when I turned 18 I moved 70 miles to where he is from to get a house together.

My parents were not overly keen at first but soon came round to the idea and now they love him!

newnameforthis123 · 14/10/2020 20:34

@thirstythirsty

Knew that would get them kind of responses. I don't understand the issues. I mean yes I was young but honestly doesn't seem that big of a deal to me. I was still at school when we started taking (we met online) when I turned 18 I moved 70 miles to where he is from to get a house together.

My parents were not overly keen at first but soon came round to the idea and now they love him!

That's silly to say so flippantly though, that you "don't understand the issues." Surely you understand that in all but very rare cases, a 15/16 year old isn't emotionally and mentally equipped to navigate a relationship with someone 24+ in your case? You can surely see how that's problematic in most cases, even if you don't believe it was for you?
thirstythirsty · 14/10/2020 20:39

@newnameforthis123 oh yes I'm not saying it's normal for everyone but it was normal for us. None of us did anything illegal. My parents approved (after they met him). Now 10 years later we are almost married, own a home and have a child. What seems strange and not normal for someone, someone else it's completely their normal. A few people made comments when we first got together but age was the least of our worries then, we were more concerned about the distance there was between us.

Grobagsforever · 14/10/2020 20:47

@thirstythirsty

9 years difference. Don't mind it at all. I'm 26 he's 35 and have been together over 10 years!
So a 25 year man with a 16 year old child?
Grobagsforever · 14/10/2020 20:51

@thirstythirsty

Knew that would get them kind of responses. I don't understand the issues. I mean yes I was young but honestly doesn't seem that big of a deal to me. I was still at school when we started taking (we met online) when I turned 18 I moved 70 miles to where he is from to get a house together.

My parents were not overly keen at first but soon came round to the idea and now they love him!

So he grommed you online then separated you from friends and family?

I hope you have your own independent education, income and local support network.

I wish you every bit of luck, truly, but if your story is real it is scary. I say that as a mum of girls

Opentooffers · 14/10/2020 20:51

@thirstythirsty Hope you get married soon then, almost, gives no protection. Hope you are on the mortgage. Glad if it works out, but at that age, with that gap, it's grooming. Anyone who has a child that age would be a bit Hmm