Single 24 year old mum of 4. Who’s going to want me?

[lessismore1]

I’m a single mum of 4 children and I’m 24 years old (ages 5-1) Left an emotionally abusive relationship, we was engaged and he is the dad to my youngest DC. My other children’s dad wants nothing to do with them (all the same father) and I’m stuck on benefits.

I love my DC but don’t ever see a way that I’ll be able to have a relationship again (not that I’m looking or interested but when I look to the future it feels very bleak) or move forward with my life.

Let’s be honest who’s going to want to be with someone who’s a single mum to 4 on benefits at my age :(

My ex who I had my youngest DC with was amazing up until we had our son together. I honestly couldn’t fault him, he was loving, kind, generous, great with the kids and I thought I had found the one.

How amazing could he have been? Your youngest is 5, you're 24? That would have made you what 18 when you got pregnant? I strongly suspect your boundaries and expectations are very low. In future, you need to know ( adult) men over a long period of time and preferably have the security of marriage before you give your body over to have a child with them. But you're not going to have the strength to enforce healthy boundaries until you do some serious self improvement. Life is not a fairytale. You are not going to meet Prince Charming and have him put everything that's wrong or a struggle in your life right. As others have said, train, educate yourself, read, take good care of your body and mind. Treat yourself as the first product and only then think about dating cautiously. Hopefully by that time you will see yourself as the prize and a good man will find you instead of exposing yourself ( and your babies) to a string of cocklodgers, abusers and general dickheads.
Successful not successive.

You're so young. Spend the next 6 years on your personal transformation.

Financial and emotional.

Let go of the idea of romance until you feeeel your worth.

I would say, if you do decide to start dating, get yourself on a good, reliable method of birth control and make sure your partner always wears a condom. Don't get conned into anymore babies with men who don't intent to stick around.

We know a girl (albeit older than you) who started a relationship with a single guy who has three children. She had no dc but they now have a ds together