Hand hold desperately needed

[Helpmegetthroughthis]

DP ended things on text a week ago and I’m in the depths of hell.

Mistakes and differences on both sides but I put the nail in the coffin and he wants nothing to do with me. Recurring arguments but he said some terrible things this time and wants me to move on and forget he existed.

I am beside myself and have lost my future as we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. Sounds a bit OTT but I’m unable to think of anything else.

Ok. I believe you are the same poster given the striking similarities, but very different slant.

So, I’m out. All the best

My friend's now exDH found an old diary of hers and read that she'd slept with someone while he was abroad and they were barely seeing each other, years before they married and 27 years ago!! Left her, blamed her and her actions as a teenager, said he could never trust her again, devastated her. It took a few months before she found out that he'd been seeing one of the mums from their kids' school for years...

Sounds like OW and trying to blame you OP. Which is horrible and I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I was dumped two months ago, kindly and sensitively by a lovely man, and I still can't him out of my head - your situation is so much harder so I can only imagine what you're going through. Handhold, hugs and 💐

That sounds awful and is so unfair.
Thank you for your kind words. It’s just so hard to see a way through this

A punch in the gut is how I felt when something similar happened to me.
I look back now and see a whole lot of red flags over years of a relationship, but when it happened it was like my world fell apart.

I'm still here, still scarred, but the wounds are healing slowly. I was told pretty much what I've been saying to you here and I didn't want to believe it. I wanted to think it had all been some horrible mistake.

You won't see through it. You'll get no closure. Just get through each day, a few minutes at a time.

Maybe there wasn't another woman, maybe there was no divorce - but the keeping everything private makes it looks like it.

Try to not think about him at all. Not easy, and if you are anything like me, you'll hurt like hell for ages, but it does get easier.

Put it this way @Helpmegetthroughthis, he's lost you. He's thrown away someone who loved him, someone who believed in him, someone honest and decent and trusting. You've lost a fake future. Who's loss is greater?
Be strong, he is the loser here not you.
Hold your head up high, you've done nothing wrong.

There seem to be 2 big issues

He is not divorced & self employed with an ex & children

You also have children & have been made redundant

I would suggest concentrating your time & effort on applying for new job
If you are in UK claim contributions based job seekers allowance via Universal credit

He was a coward to end the relationship by text

Stay strong

The feeling of being unloveable is the worst. The things I have been told I know aren’t true and I still want to be able to explain that they aren’t but won’t be believed.

@MikeUniformMike

how long has it been for you if you don’t mind me asking and what happened

@Slice0ftheDay400

The first issues was ok as I believed everything he said and still do for some reason but everything was kept quiet even though we have been out to many many places together but as I said his family are in a different city

I wake up in a panic every night and morning something which I have never experienced before.

I'll PM you.

Feeling your pain, DP ended it out of the blue last week after planning a life together etc.

Rug pulled from under me is exactly how I feel too.

No advice to give but hopefully things will get better in time!

I’m with you
A week down the line and it gets better
I have to imagine him with his new woman n a hotel this week and that’s been the pits!
I’m looking the best I have for ages and the shithead won’t keep me down!
There is usually another woman they are pathetic on their own. This one can’t survive a day without someone helping him
Good riddance! Honestly pick yourself and don’t let him destroy you
I wobble and cry every day but I’m so much better than I was two days ago!
Sending hugs x

@Alongwayfromeverything it’s beyond any pain from any break up I’ve ever felt.

@Franwith2and1 that is just awful! Sending hugs too. There is not anyone else in this situation so I can’t hate him which sounds strange

But I promise it does get better
It’s the way they change and appear one one you don’t know
You just want them to be nice again
I get it....but please keep talking to people get it out and honestly each day it does get slightly better x

I have had better days.

I feel like I want to call constantly but no after what was said it’s just going to prolong this awful feeling

How are you getting on @Helpmegetthroughthis?