Following on from porn threads, opinions wanted on lap dancing clubs please.

[suwoo]

OK, So DH has occasionally gone to lap dancing clubs in the 10 years we have been together, 3 times a year ish and always with a group on a works do for example. His mate has become slightly obsessed recently and with one particular 'dancer'. He has asked my DH to accompany him and DH to his credit has turned him down on more than a few occasions (he wanted just the two of them to go during working hours ) Just after I had DS, DH received a text from his mate saying that this 'dancer' had been asking after the baby and congratulating him. I obviously lost the plot as was not feeling good about my body image etc, 1 week post partum. DH last went in April and is due to go again in November following a golf day. He is honest about when he goes and how many dances he has, but it just makes me feel so shit. I recently found out that they don't wear knickers and just how close to the men they actually get (think I was being naive before) I know how men get off and its not meaningful and I believe him when he says it doesn't affect our relationship at all. I just can't stop thinking about it at the moment.
So, sorry for the lenghth of that, its really a WWYD?

You're right custy, although in most relationships I think I'd hope that people have similar tolerances as that seems to me to being part of a fair relationship, e.g. that if the bloke is allowed out til 4am then so is the woman, or if the woman is allowed to go out for drinks with an ex, then the bloke should be able to as well.

Anyway, that tangent aside, I guess my point really was, if you use that as an argument, then it can be thrown back in your face pretty quickly.

As I said before to suwoo, if it's the case that it makes her really unhappy that he does go, then simply saying that to him should be sufficient for him not to go again. No need to use analogies etc, just be straight and honest.

Your right c'est la vie ( re: tolerances) this case in point may well be out of the norm - as they do obv have differnt levels on which they are working.

The thought of my boyfriend, or any friend or relative of mine, going to a strip club makes me feel nauseous. And getting a private dance is cheating in my opinion. Yuk.

Um, I'm pretty sure there is some prostitution involved in some male strip clubs, both straight and gay prostitution. It may be less prevalent than in "normal" strip clubs, but it's still there.

I would hate the idea of DH going to one. Partly cos I think they are exploitative, partly because it would indicate horrendous taste on his part. Am also at the vom face: not the best way of making you feel good about your body.