Hello,
I'm not even sure how to start this thread but need people to talk to as I don't have anyone in real life and I've been bottling it up for so long.
My current relationship I've been in for 7 years. It started well, moved in together (we moved away from family further down south, they're all up North). Two years completely happy. Third year it started going downhill. We managed to fix things. Eventually the arguments turned into pushing and shoving then a couple of times it moved onto hitting. I was always at fault for this apparently and have "forced him to take action and he was never like this before." (I'm his first real relationship.) A couple of years later from the first shoves and hits, he then (earlier this year, around February) proceeded to hit my arm countless of times causing bruises, smacked me around the head-caused my glasses to fall and slightly cut my eye in the process. Again, I allegedly caused this.
We managed to somehow move past this. But every time I try and raise concerns about issues in the relationship I "push him" and he's "warning me." My partner is always overly concerned about my appearance down to the styles that I wear my hair in and what clothes and constantly badgers me to get a boob job which I don't want.
These aren't the only problems. We don't see our family often (which is why I have no one to talk to) and when we do they've noticed and commented on how irate he seems towards me and the things he says. They've told him to tone it down and leave me alone. My mum has asked me if I was happy-I stupidly said yes because I didn't know what else to say.
Another issue: Lately he's taken away my purse and "gives me money", even though I'm the one who goes out to work constantly everyday whilst he stays at home. I know looking back that I should leave but the problems are financially I'm not sure how to, he does get some income and does pay half the rent and gas. The sad thing is that I do actually love him and long for the happy times that we used to have to come back. He also does the housework whilst I'm out at work. I'm 29 and have no children tying me to him.
We met whilst we were young and are really all each other have actually known. I guess that's partly why I've "normalised" this way of living in my mind and I've never lived on my own before. Everything seems really overwhelming right now. I guess I'm just looking for some advice and a release as I don't have anyone else to get advice from in real life.
I'm sorry that this is so long and thanks to anyone who has taken the time to read this..