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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I walk away

17 replies

lollipoprainbow · 04/10/2020 08:12

Met a guy before lockdown we have had a few dates all very casual. There was a blip in August when he was contacted by a woman he fancied two years ago who now lives 3 hours away and he spent a weekend with her. Apparently she told him during that weekend that she had always liked him and wanted to move in with him and spend the rest of her life with him ! He was taken in by all this and became very smitten. Cut to the week after and she told him they lived too far apart and she had changed her mind. We carried on having dates him telling me he was adamant she wouldn't be back in touch. Saw him Friday and he told me she has been messaging him, he said he responded in a rude way back but can't seem to just ignore her. He knows her sister and she said she is coming down for Christmas so I imagine she will try it on with him again and he'll fall for it. Every time I see him I like him more but can see I'm heading for heartbreak ! Advice ?

OP posts:
hypochondriacseveywhere · 04/10/2020 08:14

End it now you are no ones second choice!

DillonPanthersTexas · 04/10/2020 08:15

Seems like an awful lot of drama for a new relationship. Personally I would throw this fish back in the sea and cast your net elsewhere. The early days of a relationship are supposed to be fun and invigorating.

Aquamarine1029 · 04/10/2020 08:16

You really have to ask? You should be running away.

Lozzerbmc · 04/10/2020 08:21

He clearly has feelings for her as talking about someone else on a date not a good sign! Surely he should be thinking and focusing on you.. he was seeing you but saw her in August. Move on now otherwise it will end in tears... it shouldnt be this complicated.

Suzi888 · 04/10/2020 08:22

Your second best and you will always be. All she has to do is click her fingers... Walk away, you deserve more.

He’s also second best to her... the minute someone better comes up she will dump him.

whywhywhy6 · 04/10/2020 08:24

Move on.

Cupcakey · 04/10/2020 08:26

Don't walk.... RUN! He's keeping you dangling while she makes up her mind. You are worth a lot more than that! Leave them to it they sound like the same sort!
As hard as it is when you like someone you can't be someone's go to if all fails!
Xx

talltreewessex · 04/10/2020 08:27

He used up his early days card.

You have to agree that the blurred lines have to stop. In or out.

He has to block, ignore and totally remove himself from her life and the sisters. Too complicated, too close. If they see each other “by chance” he has to say “hey. Nice to see you. I’m sorry, it’s not fair on my partner to talk to you, so let’s just give each other a wide berth”.

If he won’t do that then you’ve got your answer.

Itsallpointless · 04/10/2020 08:30

him telling me he was adament SHE wouldn't be in touch

Jeez luvvie, he's taking the absolute piss out of you. Do yourself a massively deserved favour, and kick his sorry arse to the kerb.

You can do MUCH MUCH better, even on your ownThanksThanks

lollipoprainbow · 04/10/2020 08:38

@talltreewessex the sister works in his local pub so he sees her all the time ! We're not official though it's all very casual, I guess I'm the filler until she makes up her mind. Find it odd that someone would want to spend their life with someone they barely know.

OP posts:
AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit · 04/10/2020 08:45

Don't be a Stepping Stone Sally

AskMeOnce · 04/10/2020 09:23

I guess I'm the filler

Why the hell would you accept being the filler?

Run for the hills...

Sunflower1970 · 04/10/2020 19:09

Leave him to it. You don’t want to be sloppy seconds

widespreadpanic · 04/10/2020 20:40

He almost seems like he’s bragging about this woman. To make you jealous or for some sort of validation, I don’t know. It’s just weird that he tells you about it instead of blocking her, like he’s contemplating being with her.

Regardless, you shouldn’t have to ask. This guy is a loser for yanking your chain. Kick him to the curb.

Cantmakeupmind · 04/10/2020 20:42

Run OP!

Notmoresugar · 05/10/2020 21:39

He spent a weekend with her and you're still hanging on.
You should have dumped him straight away.
You're worth so much more than this!!

ulanbatorismynextstop · 05/10/2020 22:12

@hypochondriacseveywhere

End it now you are no ones second choice!
This ..
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