is he going to propose?

[Lorddenning1]

Probably going to get slated for this as i have been snooping when i shouldn't of done and now I'm hopeful but also I'm not sure if he is going to propose to me :(
I have been with my partner for 2 years, and we have 3 children between us, we are starting building work next year on our forever home, planning permission submitted, just waiting for the approval etc.
ok so this weekend its my birthday and he has organized for us to go for a nice meal, with our close friends, Covid taken into account etc but recently due to the increases in rates going up, i wanted to drop out, but friends have convinced me to go and no one else seems concerned, its not a big birthday of mine and i would of been happy to stay home with a take away. all my friends have been contacting him with times and places etc, which is a little strange but put this down to him organizing it and not me.
so he has been telling me all week that he has ordered me another present, and me being the child that i am, wanted to see what he had bought me, so i checked him emails, as his details are saved in my computer, ok so i clicked on one item and i could see it was a paypal receipt for a 14K plated necklace thats on the lines of to my future wife to be, it comes in a box that says i wasnt your first kiss or first love etc etc.
so now im freaking out to what this means, yesterday i was so excited as we have talked about getting married in the future, but then i felt a bit shit that i may have ruined it for him, but was on top of the world. Today i have work up and think differently, what if he isnt going to do it this weekend and just bought it as a promise for the future etc and he thought it was nice gift, which has now left me gutted and a bit sad :(
i dont want to go for the meal expecting something and then nothing to happen grrrr!!!! i cant talk to anyone in real life as they may know and again i dont want to ruin it for him, so now im in some kind of unknown limbo until saturday/sunday, why am i like this, why have i done this to myself, im an idiot!!!!

has anyone got any thoughts on this?

What has him paying an architect to design renovations on his house got to do with you? And even if he does write a will to include your children, he can just as easily write them out again

So... any news op?

@Lorddenning1 is there an update?

Yeah he didn't propose 😳 he told me about the necklace as it hasn't arrived in time, we have had that chat and he said is he is planning on doing it, but not until the house is done. We also discussed the house and the deeds etc and I said I won't be going into a joint mortgage until I'm on the deeds, so if he didn't want me on the deeds then he can get the mortgage on his own, and he said we can see a solicitor and put me on the deeds, so we will seek legal advice on this. But he has gone to so much effect today so I cannot be too disappointed, Iv been treated like a queen today and he has made it very special for me, so bottom line, thank you for your advice regarding the house and I will not snoop again

So, more talk and no action then essentially.

That necklace is a massive red flag to me.

People who want to get married do it. In traditional set ups there’s a proposal, in less traditional set ups there’s just a conversation. Not vague words about being a future wife etc. A fiancée is a future wife.

This is just empty words designed to keep you on a string.

Not being treated like a queen at all ☹️

He said he saw it advertised on Facebook and thought it looked nice and then asked our friend what she thought of it and she said it's a lovely idea and nice though, so he went ahead and bought him, it wasn't his main gift to me, but something he thought was a sweet idea. I said I liked the necklace but I don't like the future wife part, it's weird to get someone that without being engaged, it's a naff present which is empty to me, as being a future wife is an engagement ring, soooo, he said will will send it back haha. On the morning of my birthday he got up with the children, brought me a coffee in bed, decorated all downstairs with balloons and banners, got lots of nice presents, things that I like, and ran around after all of us all day, I didn't lift a finger, he ran me a bath, treated me to a Chinese so all the things I like, this is what I meant as being treated like a queen. I think the next step for us is the house, which we are staring in March, so Iv made it clear to him where I stand with the deeds etc so let's see what happens then, I'm confident I will be added to them. We have been together for 2 years so it's not like it's a proper long time, we have had talks and I'm happy with what has been said.

Funny, Ive never equated coffee and a Chinese takeaway with being treated like a queen. A bottle of Louis Roederer Cristal and a table at The Connaught maybe. I’d even accept being taken up the Oxo Tower (!)

OP, I dont mean to be unkind but dont you think it’s a good idea to set your standards a little higher and know your worth?

Please dont sleepwalk into a disadvantaged situation based on promises and perceived ‘nice’ gestures.

@PerfidiousAlbion thanks for your reply but I'm ok with my treats thank you, I don't mean to sound unkind either but you sound up your own arse so don't worry about me, I like what I like, doesn't make the gesture any less worthless because it's not a higher class of what you consider to be.

Why does he keep pushing back the proposal? He must not it’s not a case of once he proposes you have to get married immediately? He can propose at any time? I think he’s just going to keep pushing it back

To be fair this is the first time it's been an issue, we have talked about marriage and we both want to, is the first time it's been proper on the table, due to me seeing this necklace, it's made me ask the questions. We are doing the house in March, and he said it will be after we have done the house, so that's me thinking next year at some point, maybe after this time if he still doesn't then serious questions will need to be addressed.

Lorddenning1 I think my BF is giving me the same necklace 😁 the difference being he knows damn well I don't want to get married (again) so he asked if it was ok that the message on the box included the 'future wife' bit because really it was the rest of the message that he was drawn to.

I'm sorry you had your hopes up. At least now you can move forward with the house plans and make sure you're protected.

@Bringmewineandcake thank you for your nice reply, feel like people on here have been horrible, I did get my hopes up, but maybe he has something in the pipeline for when we finish the house, I feel secure in our relationship to not have to push for a ring, and it has only been 2 years, it has opened my eyes to protecting myself over the house, so I'm greatful for all your advice :) yeah the message on the necklace is quite sweet, it's something on the lines of, I may of not been your first kiss or your first love but I want to be your last