Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

how bad is my marriage

100 replies

Teapot89 · 28/09/2020 14:02

I'd really appreciate some impartial advice please, I've no one to talk to about what is going on because I wouldn't know where to begin. I've loving family and friends but at this point it would take a lot for me to confide in anyone (Mad I know)
I'm 31 and we've been married almost 2 years and we have had fierce arguments as long as I can remember. It's always over nothing and just blows up straight away, I end up in tears most of the time. I cried myself to sleep again last night, this is a typical example, so it all started around housework, he's a bit OCD with things. I'm very clean and our house is well kept, but we both work full time (thankfully) so I don't have the time to clean everyday while WFH, I also do 90% of the cooking in the evenings.
Yesterday he passive aggressively just went around the house and pointed out what's not been done, he'll talk out loud to himself so I'll hear something like "oh a mug next to the sink, lovely" or "the bathroom sink needs a clean". There's 2 of us living here so why it's up to me to sort everything I don't know, which is basically what I said. He gets quite mean in arguments and yells at me to shut up sometimes, when I start crying he says I'm trying to make him out to be the bad guy, but I really can't help but burst into tears. I then go quiet because there's nothing I say, and he get's more frustrated that I'm giving him the silent treatment, again not my intent, I just lose the strength to argue. We had a huge fight in January when I said I'm done I just couldn't cope with the constant criticism and he apologised and said he knows he gets worked up.
But sometimes theres just no talking to him (like last night) and I'm left crying in the dark feeling so alone, and I just want to pack my bags and run home. Like I'm a 31 woman and I just wanted my mum. Even now when he's at work I'm already on edge about this evening when he's home and what mood he'll be in, and thinking i should clean the house this afternoon to avoid tension tonight. I know this isn't normal, but I suppose my hope would be someone has been in a similar situation and can offer advice, can it get better??

OP posts:
Spreadingcomfrey · 28/09/2020 16:48

extracting herself!

goldrabbit22 · 28/09/2020 16:48

No one here thinks you're useless, OP. I'm sure you do stand up to him but as you say, why does anyone want to live their life defending themselves all the time, it's just exhausting. You shouldn't need to,

Ending a marriage and splitting up is such a huge upheaval and a terrible thing to go through. Try and see it as 6 months of hell in return for reprieve from this situation for the rest of your life. The alternative is much worse.

billy1966 · 28/09/2020 16:53

OP,
Your marriage sounds horrific and he sounds hugely abusive.

Thank God there are no children.

Get the hell away from him.

You are young and have your life ahead of you.

Split the money.
Get copies of everything.
Tell family and friends.
Move out asap.

He is a Class A nasty prick and he will NEVER change.

Don't waste one second thinking of counselling.

It will never cure him of his core nastiness.

Get out asap.

Flowers
Teapot89 · 28/09/2020 17:07

If I'm honest @Spreadingcomfrey I think saying it out loud to my best friend or my mum would mean facing it all. Which is probably why I've been hesitant to mention it to anyone in person. If you knew us as a couple we're very social, have a big group of friends etc. (and do have fun in those times) so I think everyone would be surprised.
I'm the personification of "behind the closed doors"

Thanks again everyone, it's nice to know I'm not over-exaggerating my reaction / feelings. This happened gradually, he wasn't just mean one day and that was it, there were arguments now and again, it's intensifying with time. Which most of you have indicated will continue to get worse.

OP posts:
beachydreams · 28/09/2020 17:09

It will get worse because he’s escalating. He’s making no effort to change is he?

goldrabbit22 · 28/09/2020 17:24

Some people literally have no friends or family members to go run to. You are lucky if you have that option.

ABCDay · 28/09/2020 17:26

If you knew us as a couple we're very social, have a big group of friends etc. (and do have fun in those times) so I think everyone would be surprised. I'm the personification of "behind the closed doors"

It was the same with me. He was the life and soul of the party, as they often are. People will be surprised, some maybe not so (those who have been through it themselves).

Keep yourself safe, Teapot. Don't let him know any plans you are making.

RoseGoldNails · 28/09/2020 17:41

If he’s so bothered about the “mess” then he can do it. If you have a “busier” job and earn more then you sound as though you can support yourself and would actually be happier. Is there anything in this marriage that gives you joy? Do the negatives outweigh the positives?

Rollingdragon · 28/09/2020 18:04

I suspect if you confide in someone close to you they will have noticed more than you think and may surprise you. Often the mask will slip a bit out in public.

WiserOwl · 28/09/2020 18:12

Just so that you know why you are keeping the house so tidy, how would he behave if you were to say "no, im busy, feel free to tidy up yourself!".

Would he go in to a rage?

WiserOwl · 28/09/2020 18:16

@Teapot89

If I'm honest *@Spreadingcomfrey* I think saying it out loud to my best friend or my mum would mean facing it all. Which is probably why I've been hesitant to mention it to anyone in person. If you knew us as a couple we're very social, have a big group of friends etc. (and do have fun in those times) so I think everyone would be surprised. I'm the personification of "behind the closed doors"

Thanks again everyone, it's nice to know I'm not over-exaggerating my reaction / feelings. This happened gradually, he wasn't just mean one day and that was it, there were arguments now and again, it's intensifying with time. Which most of you have indicated will continue to get worse.

Yes it is hard to say it when you are not going to leave in the next week. I only confided in friends when i had a plan.
Nanny0gg · 28/09/2020 18:54

Don't tell me he hides it in front of your mum. He may not shout, but I bet there are 'remarks'

Tell someone. It will make it 'real' and give you the strength to go.

Make plans and make sure you have copies of everything you need.

I also bet he doesn't have any of those tendencies at work.

Graphista · 28/09/2020 21:54

I suspected the reason you haven't told anyone is because that would make it real and you'd have to act and your post at 1707 confirms this.

Understandable, but honestly once you do tell someone in real life it'll be a relief.

And people DO understand that what goes on behind closed doors is often very different to what happens in public.

Ever heard the phrase "street angel house devil"? It basically describes many abusers who are able to put on a pleasant, even charming front outside the house and when others are about but revert to their true devil side when there aren't others to witness their behaviour

My dad - a violent and otherwise abusive alcoholic behind closed doors, to others is the "life and soul of the party", friendly, charming, generous (always first to get a round in - meanwhile my mother's pinching pennies to buy food!), funny, intelligent... at home - grumpy, critical of EVERYTHING we did "wrong" but completely incapable of taking criticism, sulky, controlling, penny pinching, morose, creepy bastard!

It DOES happen gradually, if it didn't nobody would stay with them! It also serves to make their victim/s second guess themselves and not believe that's who he really is - the abuser as opposed to the friendly, charming man he PRETENDED to be early on in the relationship.

The first few times he hurt mum it was during "playfighting" and was laughed off.

It's also why key stages in escalation of abuse are when the victim becomes more tied and more vulnerable to an abuser - when you move in together, marry, get pregnant, give birth etc

The first time he "properly" hit her was the month after her being pregnant with me was discovered, this incident was minimised as "stress" over the pregnancy (unplanned) and impending (shotgun!) wedding.

The next time was a week after they married and from that point on it became a weekly thing, the cliche of him going to the pub on a Friday after work, getting pissed and coming home spoiling for a fight! Spending the Saturday hungover/sulking, then weeping apology on the Sunday.

But over the years it became twice a weekend, then 3 times a week etc.

As kids we learned NOT to be around when he came home on a Friday night and to be perfectly honest we came to dread hearing his key in the door at all!

I left home at 17 basically because home wasn't safe. If I could have left earlier I would have.

I suspect if you confide in someone close to you they will have noticed more than you think

Sometimes true sometimes not - I've found it depends on their own experiences, those who've had happy, safe homes and relationships tend to be less aware, those with some experience of similar are more likely to notice the nuances.

People I disclosed to once I was an adult, some of whom had been neighbours of ours at the time, were either completely blindsided or "I thought something was amiss", and what was interesting was I then discovered who of them had been through similar and so I was in their position kind of and most of the time I'd sussed correctly who had ok homes and who didn't though some surprised me.

Wearywithteens · 28/09/2020 22:14

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Faa27 · 28/09/2020 22:20

I honestly thing you should leave him. Most people don’t change. I married a man who is constantly angry and blames me for everything that is wrong in his life. We have 3 kids, the youngest is 6 months. He hasn’t changed her nappy even once. We sleep in separate bedrooms. I have pnd and he calls me crazy all the time. Never asked me how I’m feeling. The opposite, he criticises me and judges me. I feel trapped. Leave him now and fall in love with someone who loves you back and is not mean to you.

EarthSight · 29/09/2020 19:01

I don't think this has a future, although I'm sure he'll convince you it does. This dynamic is making you walk on egg-shells. If it's this bad now, I cannot imagine how bad it will get when the kids arrive. He will most likely expect everything to be spotless and will be criticising everything under the sun because they won't be up to his standards.

You signed up for a marriage, not the army.

ClementineWoolysocks · 29/09/2020 19:31

Two years into a marriage you should still be excited and looking forward to your spouse coming home not dreading it because you're worried what mood he'll be in. Going around the house trying to find things to fault you for is petty and abusive and he sounds like a twat.
You know you deserve better than this.

pallasathena · 30/09/2020 08:23

This is coercive control OP. And it's illegal.
Flowers

Bbub · 30/09/2020 09:22

This reminds me of my own marriage in some ways, it never stopped and only got worse, I left in the end and never looked back.

He sounds like a massive bully and you deserve better

Mischance · 30/09/2020 09:27

He is very simply being cruel - would you live with a girlfriend who treated you in this way? No - you would be gone in a flash.

You have already wasted a lot of your young life on this unkind and unpleasant man. Life goes by very fast and these are your best years. Just leave him and start to live.

The sooner you leave him the more time you have to find a decent man, if that is what you want.

Go now; just go.

Sockmonster23 · 30/09/2020 09:50

Leave and quickly too.

Zakana · 30/09/2020 10:11

Dogs are great judges of character and hate disharmony within their home, be brave, get you and your beloved dog out of there tout suite and don’t look back. The fact that everyone else thinks he’s wonderful and friendly, because he can amend his behaviour in front of others says volumes. He knows exactly what he is doing, it’s gaslighting and coercive control and it will get slowly much worse. Good luck 🤞 and go get yourself a new meaningful and happy life without the tyrant.

WokesFromHome · 30/09/2020 10:26

This reminds me of a couple we know. The man was partner to a friend of mine and she left him and on her way out basically told me he was like your DH. Then the guy thought he was onto a winner as he bagged himself a stunning younger woman and they got married. As I watched their relationship over 10 years I saw her go from a young, lovely and confident woman to a thin, drained and tortured one. She has now left him and he can't understand why.

My DH is also like this. It is like death by a thousand cuts. I am still with him but this kind of behaviour has put a massive damper on our marriage. I used to think he was handsome and lovely. Now I just think he is a wanker. We don't argue about it and he doesn't get to speak to me like that. I do tell him to his face that he is a difficult person and lucky I am still there and no one else would put up with his shit.

One thing I do which makes me silently laugh is I swipe tenners out of his wallet, which for some reason he doesn't notice, and then use it to get a cleaner round whilst he is at work. He doesn't know and he pays for it. LOL. He does have some very good qualities otherwise I would have left.

Shoxfordian · 30/09/2020 10:31

He sounds nasty and exhausting to live with. Any amount of abusive behaviour is reason enough to leave

Speak to your friends or your family for support but get yourself free of this

Sockmonster23 · 30/09/2020 10:38

Walk away. I was in an abusive (violent this time) relationship. The summer after I finally left I was in my little flat and, to this day (20 years later) I remember lying on the sofa watching a film one Sunday. Patio door was open, my cat was wandering in and out. I suddenly realised that I felt so peaceful, so content because I wasn't listening for his key in the lock. I didn't have to jump up and be 'busy' to save another argument. No walking on egg shells. That made me realise that I'd done the right thing (if there was any doubt at all).

Fast forward 20 years and my now DH, if he came home to find me lying on the sofa one afternoon, watching TV, is most likely to call out 'stay there, I'll make you a cuppa' - because that's what people do.

I was with someone like this and one day I was having a shower, not long after my 3rd baby was born and a traumatic birth and 2 other young kids. I could him saying ‘fat lazy cow , I was am a size 8-10 because a jacket was on the changing area and not on the coat leg! I got called that a few times for just sitting on sofa even though house was tidy and I was just relaxing when our baby was having a nap and he would walk me into the kitchen like a child and show me these little bugthings in containers I only saw 2 ?! Weird I’ve always been clean and never had problems of seeing things like that so it wasn’t because house wasn’t clean, yet he made me feel like I had to look busy even though I was shattered night feeds, and the kids to look after.

He escalated to threatening me if I didn’t agree with or asked him not to talk to the kids like, abused me verbally and emotionally Some of things he said has wounded me and I’m still hurt 18 months later and he would say things like he would destroy me and take the kids. I was scum and then kicked me out and shoved me out of the door for being upset, I was trying to reason with for shared care as I was so scared of him he can be so charming and had money no one would believe me and he kept saying ‘ you want me to hit don’t you’ I cried and never felt so broken and sometimes would get more abuse just for asking for him not to shout at our baby.

Yep he was a charmer to start with. don’t have kids with him Please. . I think after years of of marriage this isn’t going to get better by starting a family and like you I would cry a lot too. Kids pick up on it. It’s so sad.

The only thing I found hard was when he was he was very very nice and so wonderful I wanted him to be normal in a disagreement If that’s makes sense. I promise you that’s not normal to feel like that. I promise you will feel better out of this.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread