About 3 years ago when I was separated, a friend and I signed up on Tinder just for shits and giggles really, I wasn't interested in any relationships at all. It lasted about 10 days before I deleted the app. Through all the fake profiles, I did actually get talking to a real guy and we did chat but never met up. We would message each other very randomly throughout the next 2.5 years no talk of meeting up which I was okay about as it was just a bit of conversation.
Then earlier this year (just before Covid) he messaged me and asked if I wanted to meet. I said yes and we went to a music festival of all places, but it was pleasant enough. We didn't get to talk much because of the noise. Then lockdown happened and we once again went back to random messages. Then a few weeks ago he suggested dinner, which we did. We have a curfew so I was just for a few hours, and to be honest I enjoyed the evening, the time flew by, we had so much to talk about and I could have stayed much longer.
He lives about an hour away from me so last week I messaged him to say that on Saturday I was going to be near where he is for work, and would he like to meet for a drink. He says great, and then asks if we should rather do lunch. I say no problem, he says that he got a load of stuff in and he could cook as his place. Its not something that I would normally do, but I agreed.
Got to his place and he wasn't home yet, I phoned and he said he was on his way. I waited a few minutes, he arrived, went inside had a look around etc and then he said that he hopes I don't mind, but he's invited some other friends as well.
They arrived and plonked themselves outside and he and I stayed inside where he was cooking. But my god there were these awkward silences and I would ask him something just to get the conversation flowing, and he completely ignored me. A few times. Anyway we went outside after a while to where the other crowd were, and then he changed to this social self again, and was like he has been in the restaurant on date 2.
So of course they all know each other well so I really couldn't take part in the conversations they were having about previous nights out etc, so tried to converse when I could. Then one of the others announces that didn't he mention he had some plans to go to this particular spot that night, and then they all sort of looked at me as if to say, well make a move and clear off then.
So I did. He says when I'm driving out, oh sorry for changing up the dynamic.
Why do you think someone would do this? We are both 49 so it's not like we are both in our 20's that we need a backup crowd for this sort of thing.
I think the nail in the coffin was when I was reversing out he was shouting saying turn the wheel etc, I could bloody well see where I was going and didn't need him making me out as if I couldn't drive.
I am not sure which part I'm more miffed about.
He messaged me yesterday with a photo of something he bought, which I have just ignored. But I am battling to get my head around why he invited all of them, when it was me who messaged him to invite him just for a drink initially, then he changed that to lunch, and then to find out when I get there its a whole crowd.
Or maybe I am just not hardened up enough yet to be dating.