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Original poster

Should I start a relationship with a 30 year old man when I’m 37?

64 replies

ShouldI83 · 23/09/2020 19:21

I met this man, he lives a few doors down. We have spoken a lot over lock down. He has been playing with my 4 year old daughter outside and she adores him. It’s been so lovely to watch as she has no contact with her father. I think there may be feelings growing, I’m not sure.

He has no children and pretty sure he would want them. Would it be selfish to start up a relationship when I’m not sure I want any more/getting too old!

OP posts:
ShalomToYouJackie · 23/09/2020 19:22

I think you're jumping the gun here. You have no idea what he wants! No harm in seeing where things go if it's what you both want

MargotMoon · 23/09/2020 19:35

Maybe just go on a date first?

Bunnymumy · 23/09/2020 19:35

Why would you assume he wants kids? If be is 37 and doesnt have any, I'd be inclined to think it was because he didnt want any. I mean I love cats, play with any I come accross. Wouldn't want one of my own though.

Ask him out, treat it as a bit if fun and see where it goes. Life too short for what ifs.

Original poster
ShouldI83 · 23/09/2020 19:46

He is 30 and I’m 37 and he said he would like them in the future.

OP posts:
Bunnymumy · 23/09/2020 19:50

Ah shit sorry I got distracted by Bob Ross painting and mixed the ages up xD

Hmm, he may just be saying that because he thought it is what you want to hear. Maybe you could drop a few 'gosh one is enough, I love her but I'm not having any more' s into polite convo. See how be reacts.

HardJustGotHarder · 23/09/2020 19:50

Your daughter adores a neighbour afew doors down and he plays with her.....

chubbyhotchoc · 23/09/2020 19:53

I wouldn't be letting a neighbour play with my daughter Confused

category12 · 23/09/2020 19:54

I think it's a bit odd for a strange bloke to be playing with your kid, don't you?

Bunnymumy · 23/09/2020 20:01

Thinking on it. Might create a problem with pacing...like, things feeling as if they are moving too fast - considering he already knows your kid. And if he is a neighbour and it doesn't work out...might be rather awkward.

I'd maybe skip this one.

EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 23/09/2020 20:13

Yeah that's a bit weird. Whys this guy playing with your 4 year old?

carly2803 · 23/09/2020 20:22

a 30 year old with no kids plays with your daughter?

nah sorry -swerve that and stop this - male or female its offand not the thing to do

mindutopia · 23/09/2020 20:24

I think it’s creepy that a random neighbour you only a little bit know comes to play with your dd.

But the age difference is no big deal if you are generally in the same place in life, want the same things, have similar values. Dh was 21 when I met him and I’d just turned 28. Many years and 2 dc later we are very happy and age has never been an issue. We are very well suited for each other though and he is thankfully not an immature twat, so that does make a difference.

IdblowJonSnow · 23/09/2020 20:25

I think its creepy too.

Original poster
ShouldI83 · 23/09/2020 20:26

Oh god now I’ve made the poor guy out to be some kind of child snatcher. I just meant she would get him with her water pistol and he would get her back kind of thing with me in the middle.

OP posts:
Catsarelush · 23/09/2020 20:27

Weird sorry. Why is he so keen to play with her and what is he playing?

formerbabe · 23/09/2020 20:28

I saw your thread title and was going to say that it's fine. The age difference is not an issue, but I'd be very cautious of a random neighbour paying your dd so much attention. Please be careful

Original poster
ShouldI83 · 23/09/2020 20:30

We spent a lot of time outside, where I’m staying is temporary but the street has some great people in it.

OP posts:
Original poster
ShouldI83 · 23/09/2020 20:31

He has nieces her age. Really it’s not what it sounds like, I’ve made that sound very wrong.

OP posts:
NameChange84 · 23/09/2020 20:32

I’m 36 and would consider a serious 30 year old who was looking to settle down...but then I don’t have children and I do want them very much.

If he wants kids and you don’t, at both your ages and taking the fact you have a daughter who could get hurt if he dumps you for someone younger to have kids with a few years down the line then it’s probably best to leave it. If he’s not bothered or doesn’t want them and, BIG and, you safeguard your child then...sure go for it!

widespreadpanic · 23/09/2020 20:45

Playing with your daughter is strange.

But outside of that, once you hit your 30s 7 years isn’t really a big difference unless he’s interested in having children and you aren’t or feel like you are too old (I don’t think late 30s or 40s is too old but for some it is)

Anordinarymum · 23/09/2020 20:47

@ShouldI83

He has nieces her age. Really it’s not what it sounds like, I’ve made that sound very wrong.
Bet you wish you hadn't bothered now OP
Original poster
ShouldI83 · 23/09/2020 20:51

Certainly do.

OP posts:
planningaheadtoday · 23/09/2020 21:07

Yes. But if he's the one, don't leave it too long before trying for a baby.....

conduitoffortune · 23/09/2020 21:08

Have the two of you been on a date or anything, or is he literally just a neighbour you have made small talk with?

Suzi888 · 23/09/2020 21:13

@MargotMoon

Maybe just go on a date first?
This really ... Hmm who knows until you try!
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