Husband hiding the sex toys

[Chocolate2020]

So it's not the first time he's done this but this time my blood has boiled...

So I cant climax through sex or hand stimulation Through sex due to a medical problem that makes my clit painful to touch.(I can do it myself alone but in a way that no one would be able to do)

My husband was getting upset because I never had an orgasm during sex and he felt shamful, I honestly wasn't botherd because my sex drive wasnt high.

We eventually got a rabbit vibrator as It was gentle and didn't hurt me and our sex life got better and I enjoyed it and he felt better, however I noticed he started to hide it because when I went to get it wasn't there or I'd stumble apon it during my cleaning and putting things away(he never hid it well), I never mentioned this because I didn't want to cause an argument, every so often he'd make a remark of I didn't want sex hed say I bet you used that toy, Ive never felt so embarrassed.

Anyway I just treated myself to an even better more expensive toy to help me making my clitorus less painful( like physiotherapy 🤣).

We used it together and it helped me alot and I felt like it was making things less painful, I also made him aware that it's staying in my personal draw and he was fine with that.

But now Im fuming, he made a comment about me using it while he was at work (he was joking and we laughed anout it, because I was like maybe I did)(im litterly on my period.

5 hours later I've gone into my drawer to get somthing and I notice my toy has gone.
I'm furious.....

I know what he's thinking, I'm using it and not sleeping with him....
Our sex life has been consistent for 12 years.
I don't use it without him and I feel like if I did want to use it he is denying me my own pleasure(he might aswell cut my hands off as I could use that to pleasure myself 🤣) , I've never told him not to masturbate and I even bought him a man's toys.

Please no hate.

What do I say, what do I do? I cant ignore it again

He is being a controlling Dickhead!

Even if you were using it alone, it's your right to do so, not least since you have a medical issue. My blood is boiling for you!

What an arse - so you're not allowed sexual pleasure? Why not go the while hog and get you a chastity belt!

FFS - that's really immature, controlling and petty behaviour!

He’s being ridiculous. So what if you were using it outside of sex with him anyway? You’ll just have to have the row and tell him to stop being so childish

That's really out of order. He should not be hiding your things and the fact that he has done so given your medical condition shows that he's making this all about him and his ego instead of helping you. It's quite dominating behaviour.

I don't usually do these sorts of tactics, but if that were me I think I would hide something of his that he finds extremely valuable, and see how fast you get your toy back. If it escalates after that then I would seriously question your relationship.

He's jealous of a toy and wants to punish you for having pleasure from that.
Twat.

I’d be leaving. Yep honestly I would. This is so manipulative.

You are allowed sexual pleasure with or without him

I'm sorry there isn't a way to be gentle about how your husband is being. We can be nice and think he is ignorant and doesn't understand the issue you have. In which case, can you sit down and have a serious conversation with him?
How much pleasure a man gets vs woman actually being in pain. Yep blood boiling.

Just bloody tell him not to move it again

Yeah he is totally out of order.
Perhaps you should have an open conversation with him about his insecurity about the toys. He needs to understand it’s not acceptable to just remove your things!

My ex husband refused to allow me to have toys because I would like them more than his manhood. Yeah fair play in the end once I dumped his sorry arse the toys were better than having him and his ‘routine’ 🤢

This is terrible behaviour from him but I don't understand why you aren't both talking about this?? It's like some weird PA office lunch theft.
The fact that you don't know how to ask him what he's playing at is worrying!!
Is this the only way he's controlling?

Bet he wanks. He uses his hand, you use a toy. This whole facile male ego thing is a pile of shit that makes you suffer in the long run.

Order a new one and don’t discuss or mention it (hide it in a better place) and he will be puzzled that you haven’t asked where he hid the original one.

It takes away his controlling behaviour in that you have the power without him.

What a controlling nob!

Dh & I have a few 'toys' in his bedside drawer, he'd be bloody over the moon if I used them on my own and definitely enjoy the thought of it too!

Why wouldn't you just ask what he's done with it? No drama, he's your husband. I don't understand

We'd be having words about that. So fucking what if you want to have a wank when he's at work.

I'd be hiding his wallet everytime he hid your toy.

You haven't mentioned his sexual pleasure at all

Your shared sex life seems to be all about you and your sex toy.

Could it be, he feels ignored, redundant and left out ? If so no wonder he hides the sextoy.

Get a new one. Tell him it is locked away in a case . Refuse to tell him where.. If he continues to be a twat I can suggest another use for the suitcase..

What a controlling asshole. I would hit the roof. That rings major alarm bells for me. I would be having a very serious convo with him and be sure to tell him that if it happened again I would be changing the locks whilst he’s at work and contacting a solicitor. Wrong on so many levels.

So he’s taking and hiding your personal property? That’s totally odd, controlling behaviour. Does he hide other stuff that belongs to you? Can you ask him why he would think this was acceptable behaviour from an adult? Could he not just speak to you? It’s incredibly childish behaviour, and if he’s so insecure that he’s jealous of a vibrator he needs counselling.

Sounds like a misogynist, if you ask him about it I bet he’ll turn it back on you and insinuate you use it all the time, that it’s ruining his sex life. It’ll be about him and his needs not the fact he’s hiding your personal property like a big baby.

I would be fucking furious. Confront this controlling dickhead right now and raise hell. I can't believe what an absolute cunt your husband is.

Ummm that’s... really weird and controlling. I’m surprised you aren’t more weirded out. That’s not normal behaviour at all. I don’t know what you want people to advise you..

Don't tell him where you put it

Say he's not allowed to know due to his childish behaviours that he believes a battery operated toy is better than him (which it doesn't answer back. So maybe it is! H

Don't confront him now. Have a few wines and read the posts on here and really
Wind yourself up. Then confront him.

Not what I'd do at all

I’d get a lock for your drawer and lock it away, hiding a spare key where he has no idea. He’s insecure and jealous but that is no excuse for denying your right to pleasure! I’d personally think about leaving him but appreciate you may not think his patronising and controlling behaviour is bad enough.