Husband hiding the sex toys

[Chocolate2020]

So it's not the first time he's done this but this time my blood has boiled...

So I cant climax through sex or hand stimulation Through sex due to a medical problem that makes my clit painful to touch.(I can do it myself alone but in a way that no one would be able to do)

My husband was getting upset because I never had an orgasm during sex and he felt shamful, I honestly wasn't botherd because my sex drive wasnt high.

We eventually got a rabbit vibrator as It was gentle and didn't hurt me and our sex life got better and I enjoyed it and he felt better, however I noticed he started to hide it because when I went to get it wasn't there or I'd stumble apon it during my cleaning and putting things away(he never hid it well), I never mentioned this because I didn't want to cause an argument, every so often he'd make a remark of I didn't want sex hed say I bet you used that toy, Ive never felt so embarrassed.

Anyway I just treated myself to an even better more expensive toy to help me making my clitorus less painful( like physiotherapy 🤣).

We used it together and it helped me alot and I felt like it was making things less painful, I also made him aware that it's staying in my personal draw and he was fine with that.

But now Im fuming, he made a comment about me using it while he was at work (he was joking and we laughed anout it, because I was like maybe I did)(im litterly on my period.

5 hours later I've gone into my drawer to get somthing and I notice my toy has gone.
I'm furious.....

I know what he's thinking, I'm using it and not sleeping with him....
Our sex life has been consistent for 12 years.
I don't use it without him and I feel like if I did want to use it he is denying me my own pleasure(he might aswell cut my hands off as I could use that to pleasure myself 🤣) , I've never told him not to masturbate and I even bought him a man's toys.

Please no hate.

What do I say, what do I do? I cant ignore it again

@2bazookas

You haven't mentioned his sexual pleasure at all Your shared sex life seems to be all about you and your sex toy.

Could it be, he feels ignored, redundant and left out ? If so no wonder he hides the sextoy.

Oh poor baby! He has taken and hidden it! Who wants to have sex with a man child like that?

Buy another one. Don't even tell him about it. Keep it in a lockbox.

It's dildos at dawn, OP.

It it were me I wouldn't mention it. I'd buy the biggest, ugliest dildo I could find and either..

A- Wrap it nicely, make a big deal of a romantic evening in, nice dinner, wine etc and then I'd gently broach the subject of him pleasuring himself with your toys and then give him his present. Tell him you got the bigger size as you knew he'd especially enjoy that one..

or

B- Stop having sex with him altogether and then leave it in a drawer for him to find.

Whatever happens, it's time to have some fun!

Woah! That’s massively fucked up. I’d deal with it by being incredibly childish and not having sex with him again for about six months. I’d also buy another toy and hide it in my bloody car or similar.

Hide all the toys.

Never have sex with him again.

Pee in his soup.

Dildos at dawn

His ego is supressing your pleasure. It's ridiculous of him. And something I bet you would never do to him. (Obvs porn and cheating aside...they are not the same as a lump of plastic!).

Was it a Womaniser? I thoroughly recommend if you find direct stimulation painful.

Move out and never lose your sex toys again

He sounds like a controlling misogynist knob

Seriously childish and extremely unattractive

I'd make it clear that (a) your items are returned immediately, and (b) if it ever happens again, you will have no choice but to assume you're married to an immature controlling arsehole and make moves to end the marriage.

Did you confront him op or are you having a wine and getting wound up

I'd move it back to its place and leave a note on it saying if he touches it again he's on an instant ban for 6 months.

That will sort it out.

I'd say 'so I assume you never want sex again then, considering you keep stealing my sex toys? Or is it just that you think my pleasure doesn't matter? Or that you have a right to control my masterbation habits? Or that you're a klepto? Or all of the above? Either way, pack a bag and fuck off'.

Wow, that's controlling. He's taking away your ability to masturbate - so ask him whether this means you're entitled to remove his hands now. It doesn't even matter that you've only used it together with him, you're entitled to a wank when you want it, FFS! As indeed is he.

He has some serious issues! Why would he do this! Why should he even be bothered if you were using it without him

It's very controlling behaviour and the fact he laughs about it makes it even more so. My ex dp would put a lock on my Internet so I couldn't watch porn from my device whilst he was out the home and that was one of many things he was doing to control me. Have a long look at your relationship as a whole as it's very unhealthy, is there other controlling things he does?

My vibrator is the only way I can climax without oral.Dh knows this and would never even think of touching it never mind moving it.I use it with him but mainly alone if I fancy it when he's at work.Your dh is being bizarre.

The Womanizer didn't do it for me, but the much much cheaper Satisfyer pro did.

That's relly controlling of him OP. Quite a few men are threatened by women being able to come without them.

PP made a good suggest of putting it somewhere with a lock.

It's typical male insecure ego. Thinks it's his fault he can't make you orgasm and feels put out that a sex toy can do what he can't. Reassure him that that's not the case and remind him that masturbating is totally sperate to relations with a partner and that you expect your toys to be left where they are period!

Have you spoken to a doctor about your painful clitoris? It's not normal, it's worth getting it looked at!

He's being an insecure jerk.

Tell him if he ever wants to have sex with you again, to give you the toys back and leave them alone.

Alternative idea: buy another one and tell him about it and push it back into the drawer and set a small mouse trap in front of it.

Buy a smaller one and shove it up his arse next time you're at it. If he complains explain that you can't see any other reason a man would take a sex toy if he wasn't using it up his bum, unless he's just a massively selfish insecure prick.

Have you checked his search history? I'd be worrying he'll attach some sort of chastity belt to you while you sleep..

A long time ago my mates BF hated her masturbating, he would bring it up in front of us to embarrass her but he ended up smelling her fingers at random times of the day and it ended when he stabbed her for trying to end it she recovered.

This has brought that memory back. It's not okay at all. He has no right to police someone elses masturbation, that's more than a streak of really sinister shit

What a dickhead, who does he think he is? Sort that shit out woman!!

My stbxh used to take my toys to work with him so I couldn’t use them without him. Complete fucking control thing. I went out & brought a whole bunch of new ones on his credit card