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Original poster

Is this odd?

36 replies

WhatCanIDoForYou · 16/09/2020 19:43

I don’t know what about this bothers me exactly but it gives me a little niggle every time.

If I ever ask boyfriend for anything, for a photo or get me a drink or something. He always replies with well I could but what are you going to do for me?

Today for example he picked up new glasses and I wasn’t going to be seeing him today so I asked if he’d send me a photo of him in his new glasses. He replied with if I do make sure you send me one of you too.

I passed it off a few times as being nice he wants to see photos of me too. But now I’m not so sure. It’s almost like he won’t do something for me that I’d like unless he gets something back for himself?

OP posts:
seensome · 16/09/2020 19:49

It is odd if he says that everytime, I would be inclined not to ask him for things, maybe he doesn't like it. I would lead my example if you want a drink get one, offer him one and see if he does the same to you without asking.

Original poster
WhatCanIDoForYou · 16/09/2020 19:52

Yeah it is every time. I don’t think he minds me asking for things, if I ask him for photos he says he likes sending them to me but then always asks for something back from me.

We haven’t been together long so I don’t feel that comfortable if I’m in his house helping myself. He doesn’t live alone.

OP posts:
Mistystar99 · 16/09/2020 20:03

He sounds like an annoying twat to me.... does he do this with his friends?

Original poster
WhatCanIDoForYou · 16/09/2020 20:17

No he doesn’t do it with his friends. I didn’t mind as much at first when we were getting to know each other and sharing things.... but now I’m starting to find it a bit annoying. I feel like I owe him things if I ever ask for something.

OP posts:
ginandgingers92 · 16/09/2020 20:22

When he says it is there a sexual undertone? Of does he genuinely just want a 'normal' favour doing after? Either way it sounds really annoying

cosmicbabe · 16/09/2020 20:23

@Mistystar99

He sounds like an annoying twat to me.... does he do this with his friends?
Grinthis made me LOL
Original poster
WhatCanIDoForYou · 16/09/2020 20:36

@ginandgingers92 there sort of is. The way he normally says it is ‘well..... I could but what would you do for me then.’ If I say I’ll give you a hug, he says well I should think so. But I don’t know if he’s joking about it. It is weird now I’ve written that isn’t it?

OP posts:
category12 · 16/09/2020 20:38

What happens if you say: nah mate.

Original poster
WhatCanIDoForYou · 16/09/2020 20:48

@category12 I’ve only said nothing twice. One time he said I’ll take a hug later anyway, the other time he said you’ll owe me another time. I might try saying nothing more and see what happens.

OP posts:
newnameforthis123 · 16/09/2020 21:22

Do you not think you might have got the ick? Because I've got it just from hearing you talk about him!

The old ooh well if I give you this what do I get nudge nudge wink wink stuff is really cringe.

If it's a new relationship are you sure it's not just a case of you going off him because of annoying habits he has? You're allowed to do that you know!

WinterAndRoughWeather · 16/09/2020 21:31

Hmm, smacks of incel / PUA culture to me. Training you to believe that you always owe him something. Either way it’s creepy and annoying and I’d sack him off.

Colourmeclear · 16/09/2020 21:42

Does he always ask for something physical? I agree with others that it's making me feel uncomfortable. I can understand your reservations.

HundredMilesAnHour · 16/09/2020 21:46

Sorry but I think it all sounds a bit weird. Creepy even.

Do you ask for an unusual amount of things from him? Has he always been like this? I must admit I don't understand what all the things are that you're asking him for but his response just sounds icky.

NancyBotwinBloom · 16/09/2020 21:51

Is he insecure about your relationship

SoulofanAggron · 16/09/2020 21:58

I would find it creepy. The implication is that he's demanding sex acts or slinky photos etc. Or that's how I would interpret stuff like that if a man said it to me.

I would find it pressurizing, get the creeps, and soon get rid of them. Or so I hope.

SkyinthePie · 16/09/2020 22:03

It does sound odd, yes. And since it makes you feel uncomfortable - you need to do something about it sooner rather than later. Have you talked to him about it?

Aquamarine1029 · 16/09/2020 22:07

The way he normally says it is ‘well..... I could but what would you do for me then.’ If I say I’ll give you a hug, he says well I should think so. But I don’t know if he’s joking about it. It is weird now I’ve written that isn’t it?

Honestly, fuck that guy. Just reading that have me the ick. What an insufferable fuckwit.

Ladylimpet · 16/09/2020 22:14

I had something similar once with a guy I dated. I really quite liked him.
He did keep saying things similar. In the end I put it down to lack of imagination, and for something to say... mirroring what I said if that makes sense?! Bit bloody boring really, and yes, gets annoying.

madcatladyforever · 16/09/2020 22:16

I couldnt stand this it would do my head in.

Original poster
WhatCanIDoForYou · 16/09/2020 22:20

@Colourmeclear he doesn’t always ask for something physical. He doesn’t ask for something specific, just what will you give me if I do that for you? So I feel like I have to offer something, I don’t even know really why I do.

@HundredMilesAnHour I don’t think I ask for a lot. A couple of photos because I wanted some of him. And a drink or something if I’m in his house. The photos thing I don’t mind so much because I think he likes having them back anyway. But he doesn’t just ask for one, it’s like now I’ve done that for you what are you doing for me. They aren’t sexy photos either just of his face, but the tone back makes it seem a bit sleezy. Maybe I have got the ick now we’ve got to know each other a bit better. I’ve found some things are starting to annoy me a bit. He actually said to me do you want me to get ‘nakey’ for you the other day and that put me right off 😂 I might just end it with him instead now I’ve thought about it all.

OP posts:
Techway · 16/09/2020 22:24

One time he said I’ll take a hug later anyway, the other time he said you’ll owe me another time

That is very creepy and he is training you...could say, "do you only do things to get something in return?"

At best he is not kind at worse he is training you to always have to owe him. He also decides what the favour is..yuck!

HundredMilesAnHour · 16/09/2020 22:30

He actually said to me do you want me to get ‘nakey’ for you

Ick. And double ick. I'd bin him for this alone. He just sounds creepy.

Oliversmumsarmy · 16/09/2020 22:41

I think in answer to the glasses photo I would have said don’t bother. When he asked for a photo of you in return.

Either give me something because you want to. Don’t bother if it comes with strings attached.

mellowww · 16/09/2020 22:42

@HundredMilesAnHour

He actually said to me do you want me to get ‘nakey’ for you

Ick. And double ick. I'd bin him for this alone. He just sounds creepy.

Yes this all makes me feel a bit sick ...
LockdownLoopy · 16/09/2020 22:48

My ex was like this. He turned out to be a manipulative narcissistic abusive scumbag.