Married/ltr how often would your partner have sex

[theworldhasfallenoutmybottom]

If they had their way?
And how often do you do it in reality?

Daily if not more of time and circumstance allowed. Actually about 10 times a month , which can be more or less depending on work/ school.

I would like daily
He wouldn't care if it was never. Ok maybe once every two months

In reality we do it about 1-3x per month

Ideally, both of us would like 2-3 times per day. We manage 5 times per week. Sometimes more. Together 5 years.

Reality : about once a week.
He would probably prefer more often, I wouldn't be bothered with never less.

I would be happy with twice a week, partner never. We have pity sex once or twice a year. Soon to be none.

I would like at least weekly in theory but when it comes to it I can't face it. I don't know why. We last had sex 6 months ago and not sure when, if ever, we will again.

I’d like it daily. In reality it’s been 10 years since we last had sex. He has zero interest at all.

We’re both happy with 2/3 times per week. Married 13 years.

Together 15 years, 3 times a week or so

I’m genuinely surprised reading a few of these threads lately how many couples are in either sexless or occasional sex marriages. I have two friends in sexless marriages one in her 50’s who hasn’t had sex for around 15 years and one in her 40’s who hasn’t had sex since she conceived her last child 5 years ago.

Do you think life just takes over or do people stop making an effort?

He says he's like it daily, but in reality he's too knackered most nights and falls asleep by 8pm in front of the tv. I guess if we didn't have kids and I initiated it when he came home from work he'd probably be up for it. In reality it's about once a week

Dp would do it every 3 hours if he could.

Depending on what’s going on in the week, we usually have sex 3/4 times. More if dd is at her dads!

Once a week, mostly happy with that. We both are happy with the frequency. OH was married for 20 years to his ex, they didn't sleep together for the last 8 years of that marriage. No idea why it took so long for them to end it. He wasn't bothered either.

Together 20 and a half years and youngest child is 2. Every day in an ideal world, probably 3 times a week in reality. We "play" most nights but it doesn't always translate into sex.

We’re equally matched and sex for us is daily - we’re early risers and morning people so have it in the morning (and often at lunchtime as well since lockdown and wfh), which I suppose gets us away from the problem a lot of people cite of being too tired in the evening.

I think you make time for and prioritise the things which are important to you, and sex is important to both of us. But I also think that many people (except those with very small children) who aren’t having as much sex as one or the other wants probably have other problems in their relationship which are leading to the lack of sex.

I have a high sex drive my Dh's has no sex drive.

Last time we had sex was 7th September 2018. I know because I used to track my cycle in case we conceived again. Our DC is 4.

Hard to conceive if you don't have sex, right?

This seems to be extremely common and mostly the men who have the low or no drive. My DH says it's just not that important to him. It is to me though and I go through stages of contemplating my choice to stay in this marriage.

We do have issues with his family and DH is on meds for his mental health. There is a big back story. I don't know what the answer is.

Been together for nearly 30 years and it has varied. Now Dc is late teens and both of us are semi retired with very little stress we are much more active. Two -three times a week over the last few months. HRT has helped restore my libido as well. I think we have well matched sex drives at the moment which helps.

If he had his way, we would have sexual contact as often as we both wanted it and that's what we do.

We haven't had sex in years although we have sexual contact. I'm in therapy now to heal from years of having sex when I didn't want it in a previous ltr and other assaults. I'm really hopeful that soon we will have sex again without the pressure or weight of expectation which has been in itself healing.

Early fifties, together 20 yrs, usually 2-3 times a week but has fluctuated over the years, naturally with other pressures like children.

Together over 20 years.... An average probably three times a week.... Although this can equate to a fortnight of every day followed by a fortnight of none.... Feast or famine at the moment. Not sure why though.

I have no idea. He never ever initiates but is always happy to go along with it if I do. Problem I feel like he doesn't fancy me at all so have completely lost confidence. Think we've only done it twice this year.

I’m actually surprised that people have sex every day. Fair play if it’s that important in your relationship.

Sorry. If I had my way .... 10 times a week

Reality , average 3 times a week

When we lived apart, we would have sex multiple times a day on the 3-4 times a week we saw each other. It worked out to an average of every day.

Now we live together and it's 3-4 times a week. Sometimes it dwindles to nothing, then i usually throw a bit of a wobbly and get upset and it ticks up again. The dwindling has to do with both of us getting into bad phone habits, puttering around solo too much, etc and we usually need to just reset and prioritize spending time together without distractions.

My sex drive is very high, his is moderate.