I’m turning into a psycho and I can’t help myself..

[Helpmeimpoor73]

A few years ago my husband used adult webcams on and off for around 6 months and spent around £1800 doing so, this was on livejasmin.com

I’ve tried so hard trying to get past this and sometimes I feel as though I am and everything is great however sometimes I get a horrible feeling in my stomach he’s still doing the same thing.

I’m probably going to get flamed but I know his email address and password. I have been searching different webcam sites and clicked “forgot password” to see if anything with a username gets emailed to him.

I’ve found out in the past week he has accounts with the following -

Cams.com
Streamray.com
Xpanded.com
Sospoilt.com
Pornhub.com

I have no idea when any of these accounts were created apart from pornhub where it says the account was created 5 months ago, they could have been from years ago before the webcams I found out about.

He also had an adultwork account but when I try to request a password it tells me the account has been deactivated.

I am literally spending hours each night looking for new websites where I can find he is connected to, I can’t help myself and I feel like I’m going crazy.

Further info - been together 10 years, married for 1 with 2 children. I’m 28 and he is 37. He works away hence why I’m able to do my searching.

The embarrassment will be surprisingly easy to deal with if you go in head on.

Find your most gossipy friends. Have big outpouring of omg this is happening and I can't believe I let him convince me it was all OK in the past, I am an idiot, I am so embarrassed at myself, omg, omg. You will get lots hun support, which is what you need. He will get torn to shreds, which is what you need. Everyone will know within days and you will get support, which is what you need.

Be open about feeling shame for staying with him and people will be kind to you. It will be a life line for you

Yep gossipy friends. How heart broken you are that he has cheated on you and spent family money that you cannot afford.

Heartbroken that he doesn't love you and the DC enough to have done this...

The shame will be all his!

I emailed a counsellor last night and she has replied with available times/days so I feel better knowing I have that to look forward to, I’m also a bit nervous, I’ve never done anything like this before.

I couldn’t help myself last night and was up far too late again

I’m meeting a good friend today who has recently split from her husband, depending on how I’m feeling I might confide in her how I’m feeling. Hopefully it will feel like abit if weight has been lifted just talking to somebody about it

Yes, talk to the friend.

Those are great positive steps.