Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

woman not allowed contact with her son - do you agree?

73 replies

nappyaddict · 07/10/2007 20:53

he was never allowed to live with her because social services decided she was mentally unstable. she was allowed visitation with a social worker present. during these visits she tried to feed her 2 month old son cold peas out of a tin, she held a knife to him and threw him in his pram. she got agressive when he cried and force fed him. now she's moaning cos they've stopped all contact. i have started this thread because she doesn't believe that they should have stopped the visits and i want her to see what everyone else thinks.

OP posts:

Original poster

nappyaddict · 07/10/2007 20:53

btw he's 22 months old now. this has all happened over a period of time not all in one visit!

OP posts:

Blandmum · 07/10/2007 20:56

That sounds so sad.

My sil used to work in a supervised visitation unit. It sounds as if this woman needs a lot more support if she is ever going to be able to look after her son.

Are they going to re-instigate the supervised visit? Could they not increase the supervision that they have to make it safer for her son, and help to educate her about his needs at the same time?

CarGirl · 07/10/2007 20:56

I would think from what little you've said that SS have decided that she will never be able to look after him or visit him unsupervised. I would think that in this kind of situation that it probably is in the best interests of the boy that there is a closed adoption where he will have a family rather than foster carers. Of course the younger the adoption happens the better chance of it being highly successful.

ScaryScaryNight · 07/10/2007 20:57

Where was the social worker when she managed to hold her baby at knife point?

No, she should not be allowed to see him. Ever.

FairyMum · 07/10/2007 20:58

She held a knife to her baby? Of course she should never be allowed near him again.

Lulumama · 07/10/2007 21:00

i would warrant she has mental health issues of a very deep nature.

the alternative is she is simply a cruel woman.

are her mental health issues being addressed and dealt with? if so, and she is more stable in the future, she should be allowed supervised contact as a starting point

if she is unstable, this thread will not make a jot of difference, if she does not know that feeding a 2 month old tinned peas or holding a knife to him is wrong, this thread won;t help

i hope she is getting the support she needs to get well

controlfreaky2 · 07/10/2007 21:03

if she doesnt agree / accept the decisions ss are making then she has the option of getting a court to decide..... all decisions relating to her ds's welfare should be taken in the contet of what is in HIS best interests...... and it doesnt sound from your post as if this contact was of overall benefit to him if it was putting him at risk of harm / subjecting him to actual harm. it's not about her it's about him (or should be.... has she had legal advice? sounds like she needs some. is her ds the subject of care proceedings / has a care order to ss been made? it is not in the child's interests to drift on in some legal limbo.... if he cant be cared fro by his family he needs a stable and permanent alternative asap.

Original poster

nappyaddict · 07/10/2007 21:09

he's been living with his dad since he walked out on her when the boy was 2 months old. obviously it is wrong but i do wonder how she managed to do all these things to him when she was meant to be being supervised. it was the doctor who referred her to social services so i assume her health issues are being dealt with.

OP posts:

Original poster

nappyaddict · 07/10/2007 21:11

oh and can i add social services decided to stop contact not when she held him at knifepoint but when she made him eat when he wasn't hungry

OP posts:

controlfreaky2 · 07/10/2007 21:12

obviously what is wrong?

tigermoth · 07/10/2007 21:16

Agree with Martianbishop - so sad that she can never see her son, and anything that increases the supervision aspect has to be the best way forward.

Original poster

nappyaddict · 07/10/2007 21:19

i think they have given up on her. they offered her a parenting course and she refused to go on it.

OP posts:

MyTwopenceworth · 07/10/2007 21:19

If she cannot see that her behaviour is out of order and downright dangerous then she is a MASSIVE danger to her child.

I wonder what the hell the social worker was doing while she managed to do all these things to her baby, but regardless, she plainly cannot be allowed access except with at least 2 people present, and preferably in a contact centre, not in someone's home.

And ONLY if she is getting treatment.

Original poster

nappyaddict · 07/10/2007 21:22

thinking about it the feeding him peas and holding a knife to him might have happened at home. but she def threw him in his pram, force fed him and swore at him during the visits.

OP posts:

ScaryScaryNight · 07/10/2007 21:22

Well then, if she didnt want to go on the parenting course, then tough luck to her. If she cant even try to do what needs doing to see her son, it is her call to remain an unfit mother. Seems like the child is better off without her in his life.

sKerryMum · 07/10/2007 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lulumama · 07/10/2007 21:24

has she ever had a diagnosis?

ScaryScaryNight · 07/10/2007 21:26

Nappyaddict, how do you know this? Did the woman in question tell you this? If so, does she seem to realize her behaviour is wrong?

Or, sorry for asking, is the woman you are decribing yourself?

Original poster

nappyaddict · 07/10/2007 21:26

i'm not sure. i don't directly know her. only through the gf of her son's dad.

OP posts:

Original poster

nappyaddict · 07/10/2007 21:26

no it is not me

OP posts:

Blandmum · 07/10/2007 21:27

I am wondering if she has mental health issues, and /or learning difficulties.

Not that all parenst with learning difficulties would do this sort of thing. But SIL said that often the parents that she worked with couldn't understand that what they were doing was harmful for their childrem....weaning them on crisps at 2-3 months for example. they simply didn't understand, and didn't have the educational support that they needed to help them become more capable parents.

ScaryScaryNight · 07/10/2007 21:28

Does she know the girlfriend? Or has the girlfriend told you about her?

Lulumama · 07/10/2007 21:29

women suffering from puerpural psychosis often try to harm their babies, as they believe their baby is evil in some way. it is very rare, but it happens. do you think she might be suffering from this?

Original poster

nappyaddict · 07/10/2007 21:30

i know she has mental health issues and is seeing the doctor for that. learning difficulties i don't know about.

OP posts:

Original poster

nappyaddict · 07/10/2007 21:31

i couldn't say lulumama but it sounds like it is a possibility.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3