Partner sending me porn [graphic description]

[IAmFleshIAmBone]

Sorry if this is the wrong place for this, but I felt posting it here would get responses from like-minded people, rather than from those who may not understand where I'm coming from.

Last night my partner sent me a message containing a video of a woman with a contraption forcing her mouth open. Attached to it was a full condom. I didn't watch any further but you can imagine what happened. He was laughing as I watched the first part and saying "just watch it just watch it".

I have been, for the last year I would say, becoming much more vocal about my feminist views. He says he understands. He says he respects women. How can he when he is sending me what is essentially the most horrifying type of porn you can imagine?

He said he is 99% sure it was consensual (fucking bullshit how would he know), and that he just wanted to see my reaction. I feel like this is a massive erosion of my boundaries because he knows how strongly I feel about porn.

I really needed to get this off my chest as I can't stop thinking about it. I'm not sure how to move on from it either. He doesn't understand feminism or respect women, does he? I have to say this is a bit out of character, however recently he has also pushed me into looking at pictures of animals that have been killed by other animals, after I told him I didn't want to see it.

Am I overreacting?

[Title edited by MNHQ to include warning]

I hope Women's Aid can help you OP. You're doing the right thing to consider leaving him. Showing you pictures you don't want to see of dead animals and possible sexual abuse (while knowing your background at that) isn't just uncaring it's sadistic.

@MrMeeseekscando

I've seen that video, it's a kind of "jackass" style thing rather than sexual. That doesn't change the fact you told him you're uncomfortable with it and he still pushed it. He's disrespectful, but not a deviant like some posters are saying. There's a lot of lads WhatsApp groups swapping this crap.

Men in lads lads lads whatsapp group don't tend to be very respectful of women in my experience. He sounds like a dickhead with really unhealthy behaviours eg actively looking up and sharing pictures of dead animals?! IMO everyone's bar should be higher than that but in OPs case it's especially important due to her past trauma to be with someone empathetic rather than someone with behaviour that suggest not only a lack of empathy but an enjoyment of some really dark shit that most people would find upsetting.

What @nocoolnamesleft said.

Showing you the video is bad enough, but it’s his minimising reaction to your response which is the even bigger red flag.

Yeah this points to something very sinister about OP's partner. No normal person views or sends these sorts of videos. You need someone nice and normal OP.

I don't often say it, but yes, get rid.

'however recently he has also pushed me into looking at pictures of animals that have been killed by other animals, after I told him I didn't want to see it.'

Sick prick

Let alone the other vile stuff