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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Worst Weekend Ever (bloody mobile phones)

170 replies

Amanda1 · 18/10/2004 08:26

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Kayleigh · 19/10/2004 13:33

Amanda1, just wanted to say I have just read this thread from start to finish and think you are so brave for talking to him the way you did. Good for you.

I know it was hard to do, and it will take time to get over him. But you have to stand up to him for yours and your daughters sake. I would imagine this won't be the last you hear from him, he sounds like he likes a good game to play.
Don't let him play with your heart and emotions.

Stay strong.

carla · 19/10/2004 13:38

Amanda, don't ever think you were a fool. He was just a cunning to**er. And stay strong.

turquoise · 19/10/2004 13:41

Well done Amanda. It must be so hard, but you're doing it, good for you.
Don't want to appear nosey - but hope all's ok for the biopsy? What a horrendous amoungt you have to deal with at the moment. HUgs.

DelGirl · 19/10/2004 13:42

Amanda, I am amazed with your strength, really I am. It would take me weeks and weeks to get the point you are at now believe me. (horse, flog, dead, could have summed me up a few years ago) you will get over it and meet the person you and DD deserve. Best wishes x.

dawnie1 · 19/10/2004 13:46

Amanda, you are so brave - Well Done - I read your thread yesterday but had no advice to add I just hoped that you would do what you have done. U will have some awful (sad and angry) times and some okay times in the near future but at least u are moving on. Both u and your dd deserve a man that you can trust. Have a great weekend with her, lots of cuddles & hugs, she doesn't deserve a cheating in her life and neither do you. {{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}.

JanH · 19/10/2004 13:49

Amanada, I am awed at the way you have dealt with this. I hope you and DD will find someone who deserves you soon.

JanH · 19/10/2004 13:49

Amanda, even

dawnie1 · 19/10/2004 13:51

And you are definately not a fool - its not foolish to love somebody.

Original poster
Amanda1 · 19/10/2004 14:07

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Original poster
Amanda1 · 19/10/2004 14:10

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listmaker · 19/10/2004 14:16

Keep checking in on this thread and I think you're doing brilliantly Amanda. I'm so impressed. It does take time and having the future you were hoping for wiped out is awful I know.

My ex was just the same - no one could believe he could act the way he did and still does (unfortunately he's the father of my 2 dds). It made me feel better that it wasn't just me being taken in by him. These men lie to themselves as much as to us.

You really will be better off in the long run. You will come through it and be stronger than ever.

Good luck!

pixiefish · 19/10/2004 14:32

start eating- go out and spoil yourself with something really nice to eat- otherwise you will be ill and you'll be neither use nor ornament to your little dd. Also stop torturing yourself thinking of them together... concentrate on you and your dd. But for goodness sake get something nice inside you

turquoise · 19/10/2004 14:42

Yes you have totally done the right things, you've done amazingly well. It's going to hurt, but by cutting him off so quickly and completely you've limited the hurt the only way you can. Indulge yourself when you're out with your friends and really spoil yourself and dd at the weekend. Remeber MNers are here into the very wee hours of the morning when you're having a bad night, and there's a lot of poeple rooting for you. (Fingers crossed for friday too, all the best.)

Original poster
Amanda1 · 19/10/2004 15:25

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pixiefish · 19/10/2004 15:43

what results are these if you don't mind me asking? Have you eaten yet???????

Original poster
Amanda1 · 19/10/2004 15:48

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DelGirl · 19/10/2004 15:49

Amanda, you should try and eat something. I had a really bad bust up years ago. Fiance went off with bf 4 weeks before our wedding and her dp killed himself. All I ate was cereal for a few weeks. I think it contains selenium or something which is found in AD's.

Original poster
Amanda1 · 19/10/2004 16:42

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spook · 19/10/2004 16:54

Amanda1 darling.Someone told me to read your thread today and I have done just that. I am SO SO sorry what you are going through. There is not much I can say really except I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. I am 10 months on now and all I can say to you is, if you have a spare few hours/days!! read my threads. They started in January-"Please Help" and go on to support for spook 1,2,3 and now we're on "Spooks Wonderful New Life" The titles say all you need to know really.
It hurts like the worst kind of physical pain,and you cannot believe this is happening to you. BUT....it will get easier in time. There are alot of processes to go through-each one healthier and different to the last but you are a woman and you are stronger than you could ever imagine.
I'm thinking about you honey and if you need to you can CAT me anytime. Hang on in there and try to eat or at least have a milkshake or something but I know that may well be impossible.
{{{{{{{{{{{big hugs}}}}}}}}}}

jojo38 · 19/10/2004 20:57

{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}
Hang on in there

sykes · 19/10/2004 21:12

amanda, I've gone through something very similar - won't bore you with the details. I couldn't eat, sleep, was a complete zombie, strangely working helped as I HAD to get up and Had to go to work. Also have two small dds, who are wonderful. It's a completely diferent situation, they all are, but what helped me was keeping as busy as possible with friends at w/ends etc. But still horribly hard. Lots of luck and I think you have been very brave and you should be proud of yourself. But I know it's SO hard.

Original poster
Amanda1 · 20/10/2004 08:23

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spook · 20/10/2004 09:10

The weekends will be very difficult. I found myself bouncing off the walls when He had the boys and Bank Holidays...My God! But you really will adapt.I now find myself looking forward to being on my own. I miss the boys (and him) but it's not the desperation it once was. We just adapt.Partly coz we have to and partly because thats human nature. But it won't be easy and I completely understand where you're coming from about weekends. People will tell you to get out and do things but what people tell you and what you're capable of are two entirely different things at the moment. Go easy on yourself please.The time will pass and you'll get through another day and another but no-one would ever belittle what you are felling at the moment. You are grieving and all my thoughts are with you.
Bit fuzzy this morning but hope some of that made sense? {{{{{{{{heres some more hugs}}}}}}}}}

Marina · 20/10/2004 09:30

Amanda, I've just caught up with this huge thread and like others, awestruck over how well you are dealing with all of this on top of a repeat needle biopsy (best of luck with that). I'm fortunate enough to have had an uneventful romantic career apart from teen/student boyf angst and I really admire you, and Spook, and FF and sykes, and all the other women on here, who deal with men's crappiness so resourcefully. None of you deserve these idiots.

Original poster
Amanda1 · 20/10/2004 13:33

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