Worst Weekend Ever (bloody mobile phones)

[Amanda1]

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Amanda - I know you want to talk it through, get answers, give him another big crack across his face (go girl ) but IMO, the best thing you can do is walk away, leave it and never give the b'tard another thought.

I KNOW that wouldn't be easy, you can't just switch your feelings off, but it shows your strength and independence to walk away (I know you don't feel like that right now).

You'll never trust him again and what have you got if you haven't got that.

The next couple of months would be s**t, but you'll get through it, you'll survive, we are all here to talk to and you'll look back and be glad you did it.

XXX

Would you find it easier to walk away if he had not met your dd? You will probably find the answer to that would be yes. Don't stay with him because of your dd. He is not her father and she is only five so will not be that bad as far as she is concerned. Please don't stay with him, just because you have rumbled him it does not mean that he will stay with either one of you instead of the other. If you do decide to stay he might see it as an ok to keep on seeing the other woman in secret (why would SHE want to be with somebody who has another girlfriend I don't know) as all he will get is a 'telling off '. The more you find out the harder it will be so just make a clean break. Just thank your lucky stars that you did not move in together/have kids/got married etc. You're not going to get the answers you want from him, only lies so going to his place on Wednesday to get answers will do you no good. Good luck.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I have had similar and as much as it hurt at the time, I walked away. I kept thinking "where do I want to be in 3 months"? I knew I wanted to be 3 months further on, having got over the worst and with my self respect in tact, not hanging on to someone I didn't trust.

I'm afraid I think this man is still lying and I really don't see that he deserves to salvage something from the situation i.e. keep one, or god forbid, both of you. You have had a horrible shock and I really know that feeling of "wanting answers" but the answer is, unfortunately, that he is a sh*t and that's the end of it. Sorry to be so forthright but I really don't see how anyone has the right to do this to you.

I really wish you well with whatever you do next. If you choose to stay with him, I'd understand. There are not any easy answers here but please consider what will make you happy in the long term and aim for that.

Amanda, this is a horid situation to be in.....but it could have been a hell of a lot worse if you had moved in together.

He is a cheater and a lier. I personally would not believe a single word he said now. If you talk to him, he will say how he loves you and is sorry, etc...but the thing is , he will be saying exactly the same to the other woman.

Tell him to bugger off and enjoy the fct that you got a lucky escape. Your dd has not bee subjected to you having to kick him out along the line. ps.......kids are very strong....stronger than us.....she will have forgotten about him in a little while.

You are better than him, and will find a great guy out there.......they do exist!!!!! Gve yourself time o get over this, it must have been a terrible shock.

Oh darling. I totally identify with your need for answers, and with your sense of insult - but the fact is, I think, that he lied because he is swivelling around looking for the easiest way out, and lying is the easiest one.

Having forgiven a lot of *ers in my time, I can heartily recommend NOT forgiving him, and letting him swivel

poor you amanda, how AWFUL

agree with all the others, you should walk away now

Amanda thats so horrible. Sorry you're getting what you probably don't want to hear, but I'm with everyone else - cut him out of your life completely. I wouldn't have any further contact with her either, you can't be sure she's being straight with you and it just prolongs the agony.
It's good that you're angry, but if you confront him again, he won't see it as you wanting answers, he'll see as you still wanting him. Do you want him to have that satisfaction?
Visualize yourself a few months down the line - will you feel better about yourself if you just cut him dead or if you appeared to want to keep hanging on to a selfish lying cheating turd?
I know it's hell, and I feel so for what you're going through. Delighted that you walloped him though!

Time to sever all ties, I would have said. You would never trust him again. He has behaved appallingly and you and your dd will be better off without him in your life. I'm sorry this bstrd has hurt you so much.

Definitely walk away. He is turning you into this hysterical fish wife who will never be able to trust him again. I should know I've been there. When the trust has gone it has all gone.

For your own sanity you need to put some distance (time) between you. You can rant all you like here .

Sorry for calling you a hysterical fish wife, that was me

Big Hugs What a TWAT. Everyones right let him go, hes not worth it. At the moment he will have you both stringing along telling you both the same lines so that if it doesnt work out with one of you he still has a chance with the other. Dont let him.
You deserve better.

Amanda,

I don't think this sh*t can give you any answers. He just thought he could have his cake and eat it, take advantage of the situation.

You say that he and your daughter are close. That makes what he has done worse,he hasn't only cheated on you, but has betrayed your little girl, and she is too young to be treated like that (but then aren't we all).

Don't try to find out why he did it. He did it because he could. Walk away, break all contact with him NOW, today if you can. If you have left any stuff at his house, mail him and ask him to send it. Send anything of his back without any message.

Cry, cry and cry somemore. Then tell your dd that he has had to go away, and won't be able to see her for a while.

Put your chin up, make yourself smile (bloody hard I know) and say
"I'm beautiful, I'm bright, and I deserve better".

Lots of love to you and dd.

You'll find the right one someday, but honey, HE ain't it!!!

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You poor thing (((hugs)))

It will get better but it will take time. Any contact with him will only prolong the hurt.

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You poor thing Amanda. I too have been in a similar position and I know it just hurts so much and I felt a fool too. But you're not a fool. You trusted him and that's a good quality. Who wants to be bitter and cynical and jealous all the time.

My ex also seemed totally different to all the others and I thought I'd finally cracked it and met a nice man that I could trust and love totally.

Everyone here is saying the right thing. You can do this. You will be OK and you DO deserve better. Don't settle for anything else.

I'm thinking of you.

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Amanda1 had it been me, I'd have more than slapped him!!! SO you were pretty calm! Give yourself time to think. The only problem is that the heart doesn't see sense.

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Oh Amanda. I'm sorry I was right. I know it you wont seem like laughing at this now but you will - and then you'll never let yourself get dragged down to that level again - you are better than that and deserve much better.

Use Mumsnet and your friends - if they are good friends they put up with the ranting etc.

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