Hard to let my guard down!

[Willowmartha1]

Met a guy before lockdown and have had around ten dates so far, after I discovered he had spent the weekend at an old flames over the whole lockdown when we weren't really an item, we agreed to just be friends. We had another date over the weekend and I stayed over but we didn't dtd although other stuff happened. He was fine the next morning and has messaged since but now I feel different towards him (more attracted to him) I haven't a clue how he feels towards me, having been very hurt in the past I'm terrified to let my guard down with him and tell him how I feel in case he runs a mile ! If a man likes you does he care if you are on your guard ? Or will he pursue things anyway? anyone else the same as me ?!

Your guard is a defence mechanism, sounds like you might need it here. You're falling but he seems non committal. I would spend time with friends and family, if he does all the chasing, it could work out.

Keep your guard up with this one. Your gut is clearly telling you something.

Keep your guard up.
Why was he at the old flame's during lockdown?
The old flame will be a constant presence...

I'd find someone else to date. This is not the person to let your guard down with.

You agreed to be friends before, why was this more you or him?
Trust you gut if he wants you then he will be happy to drop his old flame out his life, if he tries to stay friends with her then he's not genuine.
It's natural to keep you guard up with someone you don't know well, maybe start dating him if you really like him and only let your guard down slowly when you trust him more.

I’d very much keep my guard up with him. Don’t make him a priority if he keeps you as an option.

Why do you think you need to let your guard down?

You'd been on some dates and he spent the weekend at an old flame's house so you decided to be friends.

Then you went on a date and got intimate.

What do you actually want from him? Have you told him?

The old flame lives three hours away but has relatives in the same town as him. He's adamant that it's all over and done with. It was more me that wanted to stay friends as I wasn't sure how I felt about him until the weekend ! He's been I touch since and today and wants to meet again. I'll just see how things go and try not to worry. I can't really commit to anything serious anyway as I am a single mum with a daughter with ASD who takes up a lot of my time. My heart tells me to just have some fun !