Hi ladies.
Warning, the following contains sexual and graphic description which may be triggering.
So in 2019, me and my partner had been out drinking, we got in at around 4am. He'd been in an aggressive mood all night because he cannot tolerate alcohol.. not even a bit. He's not an alcoholic or anything just whenever he has a drink which is not often, he gets very aggressive and standoffish. He ended up assaulting this bloke in the middle of the nightclub so I took him out. Anyway.. we get home and have sex, I consented..if anything I instigated it but I fell asleep after he cummed. I woke up in a bit of a daze and all hazey because I was still drunk and I remember feeling baby oil being poured all over me and he had his phone light on and was watching his penis going in and out and watching his fingers go in me etc. I kept stirring and I asked him what are you doing and he said "you asked me to do it" -I didn't I know and I know I didn't. He's never done anything like it before and we both was realllllly horny when we come home. We have been together for 4 years at this point and have a child together but I couldn't help but find it a bit weird that he deliberately had his flashlight on so he could see him doing it whilst I was sleeping.
Fast forward to Friday night (28/08/2020) again he’d been out drinking, not me this time I was sober. We had sex, very horny sex and it went on for a while and I was getting sore and tired and a bit bored so I asked him to stop. He did, then I started to fall asleep, he then went back inside and almost got off on the idea I was half asleep and cummed inside me. He then let the dog out for a wee, and that was the last thing I could remember because I fell asleep. I woke up to him again with his flashlight on his phone fingering me, licking me and also fingering me anally. I went into shock and I froze, my body started violently shaking but I thought I was cold.. I woke up and asked him what the time was because he quickly moved aswell he didn’t think I knew what he had done, and he said it was 4am , I said wow that’s late , what time did I fall asleep? He said I have been asleep for an hour, I asked what he’d been doing and he lied and said he was watching tv... the TV was off.
I have been with this man 5 years and his behaviour has really spooked me out, I’m scared to even think about it being the R word. What do you I think? Please help me
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I think my boyfriend sexually assaulted / raped me
Anon4010 · 31/08/2020 08:24
OP your post has really disturbed me and I am glad you and your DC are now safe.
I echo other poster in saying report this to the police. It is difficult as you are in shock but you need to consider your future and your children's.
Would you want him to have unsupervised access? Will he push for 50/50? Are you going to stay away and not let him know where you are? At done point you may need to justify your actions and thus will be easier if the is an official I.e police record of his behaviour.
You have done the right thing and bravely left him. I urge you to take the next step and report him.
Good Luck. 
As pp have said, you are incredibly brave to leave. I went through similar with my exh and had counselling for it.
Good luck in your new life 
I’m so sorry this happened to you OP, I’ve been there. You sound much stronger and more mature than I was though, I didn’t leave. But I remember the confusion of having been assaulted by the person I loved.
You will be ok, as time goes on it will be easier to deal with. For now, just take things one day at a time. Focus on your DC and start to plan your new life.
We’re all here for you. Well done for leaving
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.