Husband calling child

[Cassandra1]

me again,,
Happens frequently and is one of the main, if not the main reason me and husband argue.

So, just now, one of the kids, 8YO was sat eating at the table and the littlest one 3YO had tipped a chair up, 8YO had he foot resting on it.
I didn’t hear the full goings on but husband asked 8YO to pick the chair up, and then he started shouting at her. She shouted back saying stop shouting at me, I asked what the problem was and he said she just looked at him and didn’t do as she was asked, (the chair was up by this point so either 8YO or 3YO picked it up) he went on to call her rude and a stupid idiot! I told him to not call her this and told her that she isn’t rude or a stupid idiot! This is one of the things I just can’t stand about him, my question is would you find this acceptable or am I right in being mad at him for it?

You leave him. You put your children first.

I don't think that that scenario warranted shouting or name calling.

I would worry what he would do if they actually did something wrong. Kids do.

He sounds awful sorry

There isn't a situation that exists that warrants an adult calling a child a stupid idiot! He is being emotionally abusive and he is an arsehole who takes his temper out on children.

And it's a while since my kids were young but do people not know that you critisise the behaviour of children. Not the person. Say things like "that behaviour is rude". Not "you are rude" Not that I would trust his judgement. He needs parenting classes. I would look at what's available and buy books on the subject. If he doesn't make an effort, I personally would consider leaving.

This is one of the things I just can’t stand about him

You shouldn't stay married to someone who has attributes you can't stand. He sounds awful.

This is verbal abuse and children remember it. I still remember my dad calling me a stupid girl once when I accidentally dropped something.

He would be an arsehole and my mum never stood up for me. I resent her for that. I'm so glad you stood up for your DD.

I would separate over this, as it could/will cause long term damage to your child and you need to protect them from this.

How was any of that rude? I simply cant bear adults calling children rude when no rudeness has occurred. It's the equivalent of ok Laren or ok boomer.

In your case I would start a running away fund and tell him that if he ever calls the dc names again then that will be the end of the marriage. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

I’ve already started putting money aside to leave x

What do you want us to tell you? You’ve posted about him before, you know he’s awful. What’s left to say?

She wants us to validate her own reaction that he was out of order. He was well out if order OP and I'm glad you're planning on leaving him.

Yeah I know I’m sorry I’m a repeat poster and I complain a lot about him, I guess I’m just trying to process his different behaviours and work out of its me over reacting or whether my reactions are justified. I suppose I am justifying the reasons I’m leaving and ensuring I am making the right decision xx

@Cassandra1

Post as much as you want, if people don't want to read or comment they are able to decide that for themselves. You do what you need to do in order to make sense of everything.

You don't have to apologise for needing a sanity check. No you are not over reacting. Keep doing what you need to do to leave safely. You need to leave.

Its was extreme reaction as others have said. Kids remember these things ...

My father had a long history of verbal abuse to me and my siblings-it's an awful emotional injury to children and none of us have come into adulthood unscathed