It just happened. I’m an adult in my 30s, she is 60s. Went round earlier, quickly identified she was in one of her unpredictable moods and was giving me the silent treatment. Dropped off gift for birthday person and tried to leave as I didn’t want to sit there in that atmosphere all evening. Normally would have just suffered in silence while she ignored me or made nasty little critical comments.
This time she confronted me as I was going to leave, denied she was doing anything, then threatened to kill herself ‘because it’s never your fault, it’s always my fault’. I told her it wasn’t okay to talk to me like that and I was leaving.
Then she physically restrained me from going; grabbed my arm, kind of grappled me and trapped me against a wall, body-blocking access to the door. This went on for a couple of minutes until I promised to stay in the house if she left me alone. I have not done that (obviously) and am elsewhere.
There is a hell of a lot of backstory (classic EA, moods, using money/affection to control) but this is a new escalation. She hasn’t been really physical since childhood smacking.
I guess I would tell anyone else ‘report it’ but it’s (as ever) a bit complicated. She needs an advanced DBS to do her work. It would be the end of me having a relationship with the only family I have. She’s still my mum. She has clearly got serious and untreated mental health issues. It’s not like she beat me up or left injuries. She is physically more powerful than me and it shook me up badly but it’s more emotional than physical.
I don’t know where I’m going with this post particularly. Anyone else been here and it worked out okay? What do I do next?
The ironic thing is I’ve been learning about abusive behaviours and assertiveness/self-esteem as I recently split with my cheating husband, and I was starting to (finally) think I could assert some boundaries and expect people to treat me with basic respect. Apparently these are the consequences. It’s unlikely I’m the only person in the world who is undeserving of being treated decently but it feels like it at times.
I’m not really okay so even just a hand hold would be great. sorry if my communication style is weird, I have Aspergers and I guess I am not in the best mind frame currently. Thank you.