He wants me to do a lie detector!

[AftermathGirl]

I've had historic issues with the guy. Been together nearly 2 years but on and off the past 6 months.

He has major trust issues and nothing to do with me. After our most recent 'off' episode he asked me if I'd chatted to anyone else. I said I'd signed up to a dating site and chatted to people for a matter of days. I was honest. No reason to lie. He split up with me. Made it clear there was no way forward.

Fast forward few weeks and his anxiety is horrendous. He can't be positive and it's affecting me now. I've made it clear I can't go on like this and he's now suggesting I do a lie detector to prove I was honest about just chatting to people.

He claims I mean everything to him but he's just controlling.

Every time I'll believe it will be different.

I find it hard to end things as it makes me feel guilty. All he keeps asking is proof I'm not chatting to anyone else.

That all stopped when he got back in contact with me.

Should I do the test to shut him up? I've told him it's not healthy and I'm not doing it. It's really distressing me.

I know it's easy for others to say walk away but I've got attachment issues which I'm currently in therapy for, although been a bit shaky over covid.

I hate this I wish I'd never met him

Don't do the test. It will never be enough.

You know this though. If you have no intention of leaving him then you are just letting yourself in for more of the same.

Tell him to fuck off. You are wasting your life on this guy. Even if you did a test, and I have no idea how you would go about getting one now that Jeremy Kyle's off air, and it proved you weren't lying, why would you want to waste another second of your life with someone who disrespects you so much.

You have no ties to him. Get rid today.

You know you deserve more.

He doesn't have trust issues.
He's a controlling fuckwit and you need rid

Ffs, op, this man is unhinged. Tell him to fuck off and BLOCK HIM. You will never get over your attachment issues if you refuse to take control and protect yourself. Just do it.

Sorry, more - you know he's controlling. This will never get better and will probably get worse. Imagine this relationship (and I use the term loosely), with children in the mix. No. Get out now.

Just tell him he needs to grow up!

Sounds like a Jeremy Kyle candidate, is bin him!

You don’t need to feel guilty leaving him, your not put on this earth to please someone else’s life.

Should I do the test to shut him up?
God no. If you needed any other reason, look how much it costs (I had no idea you even could do a private lie detector test).

This is never going to get better. If you pass the test, he will say it's because you're a good liar.

It also sounds as if he 'doth protest too much' - it wouldn't surprise me to discover he's been chatting to people during on your 'on' times as well as your 'off' and this is to throw you off the scent.

Either way, it all sounds exhausting and utterly unfulfilling. I suspect you're hesitating because you know if you break up with him now he will say it's because you didn't want to take the test, but he doesn't get to write your story for you. Your friends will believe you, not him. And it's more important to get this toxic influence out of your life than it is to 'win' some pointless argument.

No, dump him and move on. He is being controlling. What proof will he need after you do the lie detector test? It will continue to escalate until you are stuck in the house with no friends, and only him to rely on.

*id bin him

No I wouldnt do the test. This could be the start of many tests, when will it stop. You are allowed to chat to other men. You know this is a very unhealthy friendship and that he needs to get professional help with his behaviour and anxiety. Your own health should be your priority and he is harming you emotionally. Do you have friends who can support you.

don't walk away, bloody run!

Controlling much?

It won’t shut him up though will it? Whatever you do will never be enough for him. You know he’s controlling.

I know it’s not easy. I know leaving is very hard. But you deserve so much more than this.

Listen OP. Every singly reply you get will tell you to leave him and not to do the test. I promise. So.. you need to decide what to do with that advice. Literally nothing good can come of staying with him and doing as he wants. There are nice, normal men out there - don't you think you deserve one of them??

It's only been 2 years. It shouldn't be this difficult. Walk away. (run)

Don't do it.

Assuming you don't live together there is literally NOTHING tying you to him, you don't even need to see him to dump him, just send him a text saying it isn't working for you & block him.

Really, save yourself from this nonsense. How very Jeremy Kyle of him. Bet you'll feel tons better if you leave. Life is too damn short.

You should do A test if you stay with him. A brain test.

The hills are that way >>>>>>>>>>>>>

Why would you pay good money and waste your precious time so you can be bored for hours, recieve a worthless report which your ex will conjure a way to make you a liar anyway?

Take your time and money and take a nice holiday, without him, change your locks, block him from your phone and never speak with this life ruining arehole again.

Tell him to have counselling sessions for his multitude of issues. How dare he?

No way should you agree to take a fucking lie detector test. Where the hell do you even get them from? Jeremy Kyle?

If he knew you so,well he'd be able to read your body language. That's a true and free detection of lies.

Lie detector tests are pseudoscience. A polygraph cannot differentiate anxiety caused by dishonesty and anxiety caused by something else.

No No No No. I can't say no enough.

But you already know this.

I remember reading an article on BBC from a woman who had left an abusive relationship. Anyway, her partner made her take a lie detector test. She passed.
You know what he said? He said she had slept with the lie detector man to get him to falsify the results. She realised nothing she ever did would change his ridiculous behaviour.

What everyone else said ☝️

Controlling abusers like this can never be mollified. You could take the test, the results could come back that there’s no indication that you’ve been seeing someone else and he won’t believe it. Then he’ll ramp it up until you can’t have any friendships or leave the damned house.

Get rid permanently before he damages you any more. Because he will