He wants me to do a lie detector!

[AftermathGirl]

I've had historic issues with the guy. Been together nearly 2 years but on and off the past 6 months.

He has major trust issues and nothing to do with me. After our most recent 'off' episode he asked me if I'd chatted to anyone else. I said I'd signed up to a dating site and chatted to people for a matter of days. I was honest. No reason to lie. He split up with me. Made it clear there was no way forward.

Fast forward few weeks and his anxiety is horrendous. He can't be positive and it's affecting me now. I've made it clear I can't go on like this and he's now suggesting I do a lie detector to prove I was honest about just chatting to people.

He claims I mean everything to him but he's just controlling.

Every time I'll believe it will be different.

I find it hard to end things as it makes me feel guilty. All he keeps asking is proof I'm not chatting to anyone else.

That all stopped when he got back in contact with me.

Should I do the test to shut him up? I've told him it's not healthy and I'm not doing it. It's really distressing me.

I know it's easy for others to say walk away but I've got attachment issues which I'm currently in therapy for, although been a bit shaky over covid.

I hate this I wish I'd never met him

I’d do the test if he paid. Then I’d break up with him.

Doing the test won't shut him up, feeding paranoia just makes it ten times worse. Next he'll be demanding access to your phone, a tracker on your phone, controlling who you can meet and where you can go.

 He doesn't trust, respect or love you.

He doesn't feel counselling will help his trust issues.

I don't feel.ciu selling would help his pathological jealousy, insecurity and control trust issues either.

Even if men (and occasionally women) like this went to counselling (which they won't because they don't really believe they're wrong it they have the problem) the chance of them being honest, self critical enough and truly changing are so low as to be non existent.

The test would probably be pronounced to be unreliable (if you passed it).

It would cover that instance/period but what about all future instances, he'd just be back to the same (he was at it before the break, and the break was because of his behaviour, it sounds like).

Plus taking it at all is bonkers.

People like this don't change; they just find a victim who puts up with it, fir as long as they do.

Walk away with your finger held high.