@ItsLateHumpty leading up to xmas ex had been having problems at work too. Allegedly people ganging up on him / managing him out. This had been going.for for well over a year.
Incidentally problems at work was the same excuse he trotted out when he had the original breakdown so my guard was up that the same thing could be happening again, I.e always someone else's fault.
Anyways....we went away, had a wonderful time as he didn't have to think about life or any responsibility. As soon as real life came back in Jan, he was coming home from work in a very negative mood, going straight to bed. Just disengaged, not contributing to the house.
He then came back one day insisting that I needed to let him get another job. I found that hard to swallow given I'd been saying for 18 mths if you don't like it, then go. I'd even done his CV, wrote cover lwtters and applications.
My only condition was that he found something else before resigning..with a family to support that is perfectly reasonable.
Wasnt just the job - he had never bothered to learn to cook, didnt do housework, DIY, every project at home was my idea, procrastinatong over everything, no desire or motivation to better himself.
Separated in March and moved him to spare room..he didnt even give a toss and didnt fight for the marriage at all.
Now I see he had checked out and just didnt have the balls to end it. But I will not be treated like that. I'd rather be single. The separation has been an eye opener with him trying to unsettle our son and get in his head.
All you ladies living with covert narcissists / passive aggressive man children..just go they only get worse!
I cant allow my son to think that was a healthy relationship..we argued loads in the end and he made my question my sanity..