Boyfriend corrects my pronunciation

[Onetoomanytimes]

This has happened quite a few times over the course of our two year relationship, most recently this evening. I wouldn’t say I’m below average intelligence, equally not the sharpest tool by any means

Each time he had corrected me I’ve brushed it off and thought ‘oh well at least I know for future’. Tonight it hit a nerve for some reason. I mispronounced a word during dinner, a fairly commonly used word, fair enough I said it wrong. However he understood what I had said, so it didn’t affect the conversation in any way, but he repeated the word back to me correctly afterwards which made me lose my train of thought for the conversation, which inwardly pissed me off. I didn’t say anything as we were out and I wanted to enjoy my meal but I was noticeably quieter afterwards.

It doesn’t happen often, maybe once every couple of months or so. It is quite possible that I’m being over sensitive about it, as I’m sure he doesn’t mean it maliciously and just wants me to not sound like an idiot.

I kind of wish I could think of something quick-witted to say back to him when he does this but I tend to feel too defensive.

I find this helpful and i'd rather someone tell me if I was pronouncing something wrong.

I can see how it could be done in a bitchy or arseholey way trying to make someone feel stupid....but it doesn't sound like that's the case here so it sounds like you're just being sensitive.

Say how you feel OP! Sarky comments do not a good relationship make!

Epitome is NOT pronounced epitoam but epitomy.

I try not to do it to others. I'll say something discreetly, if it's at work and they'll look foolish in a presentation or report.

I recall someone using the word plutonic instead of platonic. Cringe.

When I come across unusual words, I paste them into google and it will speak it correctly out loud. Like Fjadrargljufur

@Benjispruce2

Epitome is NOT pronounced epitoam but epitomy.

That actually depends on where you are from.

Recommended therapy for anyone who feels the need to correct all the time is to live and work with people who have English as a second language.

You become impressed with how few mistakes that are made and wonder why the British are so lazy in learning other languages.

@JulesCobb where is it pronounced epitoam?

He's helping you so you don't sound stupid when you talk to other people. If you don't like it leave him. He won't be able to stop now it's become a reflex. I'd correct you to and expect to be corrected when I'm wrong. How else do we improve?

@Mrsfrumble

Are they genuine mispronunciations, or just a regional accent thing? DH does the latter to me (I’m from Derbyshire, he’s from Surrey) and it used to bother me but now I just roll my eyes, and say “alright Henry Higgins!”

I’ve heard the thing about mispronunciations being a sign of being widely read too, and having encountered vocabulary on paper before hearing it spoken.

Exactly. I often mispronounce because I read a LOT but haven't always heard it said. I appreciate being corrected.

I read a lot and when I come across a new word, I look it up. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not knowing or asking so I wouldn’t be upset if someone educated me so long as it wasn’t done in a condescending way.

@Bashingboris

Recommended therapy for anyone who feels the need to correct all the time is to live and work with people who have English as a second language.

You become impressed with how few mistakes that are made and wonder why the British are so lazy in learning other languages.

Hear, hear.

FWIW, the people who mispronounce words usually won't pay any notice to you and will continue to mispronounce the word until someone else corrects them.

It depends if it's a genuine mispronunciation or whether he's being a knob about regional accents.

There's no need to be an arsehole when he points out valid mispronunciations though

So what do you think OP?

@fmlfmlfmlfm 😂

We kind of need to know the word. It could be you’d look a real numpty if you continued mispronouncing, and he was being merciful, but you’ve spelt lose correctly so you’re obviously pretty good at English generally.

I didn’t know how to pronounce ‘truculently’ for ages, or what it meant... I read it in ‘My Family and Other Animals’ and thought it was used to highlight the contrast between how Spiro spoke to disrespectful Greeks, and then to the family. I thought it meant ‘meekly’ and was pronounced ‘troo-sell-lently’. Eventually I read the book with a dictionary so I could make sure of all the words I didn’t know... I felt a right arse. This is why I now love a Kindle!

I don't mind being corrected on the odd pronunciation - I'd rather not continuously get something wrong - but it is irritating if it stems from a person's general urge to 'educate' others by correcting them.

Epitome is NOT pronounced epitoam but epitomy.

Yes! Sorry if my post was confusing. I pronounced it wrongly as epitoam but didn't realise for ages.

I’d rather be corrected than realise I’d mispronounced a word when it mattered.

I did get through two years of a law degree before realising that ‘inditement’ was actually indictment. I really believed they were two separate words

I didn’t ever tell the young Conservative in my flat that he mispronounced hyperbole. It was a word he was particularly fond of using

It's how and why it's done, OP. And interrupting you to correct you is plain rude as well as condescending. Here's some things you could usefully say:

I wanted a bf, not a dialogue coach.

Would you rather be right than happy?

Since you think you get to correct my pronunciation, I think I get to correct your manners.

Would you rather I interrupted you right away to correct your manners or wait until you've finished?

But seriously, you need to lose this bf and find a nicer one!

I never correct anyone since I arrived at uni in the UK and had people (mostly men) correct me on my pronunciation of words from my mother-tongue. I do have a regional accent.

Made me realise that the only possible outcome is for the corrector to sound like a plonker.

If someone is persistent, I deliberately mispronounce words so I can keep them occupied.