Boyfriend corrects my pronunciation

[Onetoomanytimes]

This has happened quite a few times over the course of our two year relationship, most recently this evening. I wouldn’t say I’m below average intelligence, equally not the sharpest tool by any means

Each time he had corrected me I’ve brushed it off and thought ‘oh well at least I know for future’. Tonight it hit a nerve for some reason. I mispronounced a word during dinner, a fairly commonly used word, fair enough I said it wrong. However he understood what I had said, so it didn’t affect the conversation in any way, but he repeated the word back to me correctly afterwards which made me lose my train of thought for the conversation, which inwardly pissed me off. I didn’t say anything as we were out and I wanted to enjoy my meal but I was noticeably quieter afterwards.

It doesn’t happen often, maybe once every couple of months or so. It is quite possible that I’m being over sensitive about it, as I’m sure he doesn’t mean it maliciously and just wants me to not sound like an idiot.

I kind of wish I could think of something quick-witted to say back to him when he does this but I tend to feel too defensive.

It depends if it's an actual mispronunciation or if it's a regional difference he's being a twat about. Even if it's a real mistake he shouldn't be treating you like his pupil.

I would call him pedantic but pronounce it pendantic.

Then the pronunciation police have to correct you and give a great live demo of them being pendantic.

If it was a one off for that word or an acceptable alternative, he was wrong.
If you always pronounce it incorrectly, then he was doing you a favour. Other people will judge you, they just won't say anything.

I’m also the one who does it in our relationship.

My husband was brought up by idiots and I’d rather be the one to correct him than him feel like an idiot at work or in front of other people. I don’t correct anyone else, because I don’t care if they come across as stupid.

“alright Henry Higgins!”

I’m a Brummie and it ‘’ ‘Lright ‘enry ‘iggins”

Which is of coarse the correct pronunciation

I thought most people could say 'segue' but not spell it. Or is that just DP...?

My GP can't pronounce the name of the new medication I'm on.

What was the word?

I'm the one that does the correcting in the relationship but my DP takes absolutely no notice and continues to talk about 'advocados' and being 'adverse' rather than 'averse' to something.

I still get 'would of, should of' etc in text messages.

Personally I'd rather know if I was making these mistakes but clearly lots of people don't care so I've given up correcting now.

I correct dh if he pronounces a word wrong, so I must be an arsehole too, I only do it in private a and would never make an issue in front of people, . I would hope he does the same for me.

I’d rather know the correct pronunciation than make an arse of myself in front of others.

To be honest I think people should be made aware of mispronunciations but it can be done without being a condescending twat.

My partner does this occasionally (and sometimes he’s wrong and usually it really doesn’t matter).

It’s annoying so I deliberately use as many slang words from school that I can remember after, which he finds annoying (I went to a rough school and him a private school). He does not do it as often now 😊

Petty but amusing!

Does he do it in front of other people? If so, he's a dick. If not, he's probably just trying to be helpful so that you don't get it wrong in a situation that you might find embarrassing.

If you don't want him to do it, tell him. If he then keeps doing it, then yes, he's a dick.

I think if you interrupt someone mid sentence to “correct” them on something then it shows you’re more interested in being a smug pedantic twat than in actually listening to what they had to say. They clearly got their point across, otherwise you wouldn’t have understood it enough to “correct” them.

Fair enough correcting someone’s pronounciation but don’t interrupt them to do it.

I agree with the poster that says you should pick them up on it next time: “please don’t interrupt me, you clearly knew what I was referring to and now you’ve made me lose my train of thought”.

I can't decide. Is it a word you always mispronounce, have you never used it before? I have a family member who will pronounce something one way for years and then all of a sudden change it to something different. That's really annoying.
Also my DP will try to use big words while having silly arguments to try and make himself sound clever. There has been lots of times he's used them completely out of context or mispronounced them. I love pointing out he's wrong in those instances.

I am the corrector here - although I very rarely say anything - just keep it to myself unless I think people would laugh at DH if he repeated it.

I can be pedantic about things like that (despite making errors myself) but generally don't say anything because it makes me look like a wanker

My ex mil used to pronounce ciabatta as "siabatta" and quesadilla as "quizydella" and readers, it made me feel murderous 😆

DH is a maths teacher, v intelligent often mispronounces every day words - I bit my lip unless it's a really funny muspronunciation.

It depends - DH and I both prefer to be told so we have an understanding. In fact he hates the idea of saying something wrong and me not telling him and he finds that embarrassing.

He'd specifically asked me to pull him up if he said 'less' when it should have been 'fewer', so I did during a kitchen design appointment. He said thanks but I get the impression the designer thought I was a total dick

I’d probably do it loads more on purpose to really wind him up

Definitely "almond".

I speak German with my bf and he is the first partner to occasionally correct my pronunciation. However, he asked if it was OK the first time I did it, he does it less than your partner, and he apologises if he realises he's thrown me off track.

No need to get defensive, just say "Can you not correct my pronunciation any more? It's annoying." Or ideally "pronounciation", to immediately test whether it has worked.

@MizMoonshine

I'm the arsehole who always corrects pronunciation. Can't help it. It's like an internal firework goes off and I have to correct it.

Unfortunately I am this too! I have managed to temper it over many years - now it just leaves me seething inside! Donimo truly makes me want to shake people!

You can tell him that the philosopher Marcus Aurelius said that the correct way of doing things is not to directly tell the person they have mispronounced something but instead to use it correctly around them so that they pick it up.

On the other hand, some mispronunciations/using the wrong word can be very cringeworthy and being corrected on them might be helpful eg. people saying pacific instead of specific or brought instead of bought (very common in Midlands).

The way he's doing it is impolite as he's interrupting the flow of conversation.

You'd be best to tell him at a neutral moment that you are finding it rude. And though it's handy that he wants to improve your knowledge would he bring it up afterwards. Each time he then did it in a thoughtless way I'd say something like "I'm glad to have someone pendantic to help me improve."

It's true that I'd want to be told unless it was the case I just wasn't able to improve. (Some people are a bit word / sound blind their loved ones just need to accept it.)

I was pretty pendantic myself when younger. I had to learn. It would be a shame if the improvements only went one way in any relationship!

I agree it depends on the word
Sort of joking, you shouldn’t feel condescended to in a relationship.

Haven't we got loads of threads about how murderous people feel about their partners perpetually mispronouncing words?

This, I guess, is just the converse.

Does he do it in front of other people? If so, he's a dick. If not, he's probably just trying to be helpful so that you don't get it wrong in a situation that you might find embarrassing.

I agree with this!
When I first read your post I thought what a patronising dick! BUT thinking about it I do this too sometimes!

I only ever do it to close friends and family members just so they don't say it to someone else and get embarrassed - I said it a couple of days ago when my friend said 'meme' wrong - I think i'm going to stop now lol.

He'd specifically asked me to pull him up if he said 'less' when it should have been 'fewer', so I did during a kitchen design appointment. He said thanks but I get the impression the designer thought I was a total dick

I wouldn't do this in front of other people - just at home!
The designer must have thought you were his mum or carer or something! haha