Ok so I've packed his bag

[Shadeslayer]

dp and I have had a really up and down relationship. DS1 was an accident so we tried to make it work. Things have been good for long spells but everything always eventually returns to the crap.

He smokes weed and is now up to at least 6 joints a day. It effects everything but obviously he doesn't see that it does.

I've got to the point I no longer love him ive tried for 9 years to make it work but he will always fall back into this. He is good for a year then not great progressing to shit over the following year over and over.

I'm not engaging because he always uses the kids to guilt me and I know that I can't let him make false promises again. But what do I do now?

So he is leaving and you will remain the property you are in?
Is it rented or mortgaged and in who's name?
Assuming he buggers off the next steps are to be kind to yourself.
Then, when you are ready, start to get practical.
Can you afford the house on your own?
How much maintenance are you entitled to? I assume he works?
Do you work or are you a SAHM?
Do you have family or friends around you?
You need some love from people in RL.
Does he have someone to stay with?
How often will he have your DS?

Well done. Be strong.

We are not married
House is rented in joint names

I work and will be fine financially I do everything and he works so hard he apparently has no time for anything else.

My mums been here all day and she dealt with giving him the bag because I've tried to have him leave before and he always guilts with with the kids so I don't intend to speak to him for a few days.

Email the landlord and get him removed from the lease officially.

Block him on your phone so he has to email only.

Good for you getting Mum to help so you didn't cave. No fun for the kids living with a stoner Dad surely?

You've definitely done the right thing. Stay strong and don't let him suck you back in. 💐 for you

He's actually really good with the kids which makes him think he must be fine because he takes care if them and goes to work.

It's me that gets the brunt of it with him being a dick to me if he's frustrated. I think my unhappiness effects the kids more than him to be honest.

I feel a sense of relief now that he's got his stuff.