Partner used prostitutes

[Imaydestroyyou77]

Hi I am new and have stalked this site over the years about this topic. Sorry this is so long but I need to get off my chest. Nearly 3 yess a go when my baby was about 7 months old I came home and my OH was in a very bad mood he’d had the afternoon off while I was out with baby. He was in such a foul mood when he was bathing the baby I unlocked his phone and checked it something I never usually do. There was a text from him saying I’m outside to a text with an address. There were also some landline numbers he had called. I took down all the numbers and later googled them. The landline number didn’t come up but the mobile came up with a prostitute number calling card she was an older woman very ugly. I was disgusted and very very shocked.

Our sex life’s was never amazing and he had problems keeping an erection but in every other way he is /was a great partner. We had a hard time conceiving which obviously put pressure on our sex life.

That night once baby was in bed I chucked him out and spent the next few days crosschecking his phone bill and bank statements. He’d done it a number of times over the years .... called more than had gone trough with. When I confronted him he lied about the extent but had to own up after I showed him the evidence.

I took him back after 2 weeks and we’ve been living together since. We don’t have sex (we tried once) but get on very well mostly but it’s not the relationship I want. I just can’t bring myself to wanting to have sex with him it makes my skin crawl. I don’t know what to do if we split we’ll both be significantly poorer and right now we don’t have much to spare. We have lovely times as a family and he’s a great dad and he makes me laugh dies housework etc I’m scared of being a single mum and worry as my child is an only. But I know deep down we can’t carry on like this.
Should I try and get us some counselling? He’s suggested it ? I really don’t think he’s doing it any more I think he’s changed but I can’t move on. It’s been so long now my child is really close to him and will devastated - Part of me wishes I kicked him out for good back then and then another part of me is scared of being alone and trying to have another relationship.

Just need some advice really .... this lockdown has given me time to think

[Imaydestroyyou77]

Thanks to everyone for replying some great advice and food for thought. It’s been a tough few days will update soon xx