AIBU? Not making an effort with DH friend?

[Maddie2019]

Okay so my DH best friend done a runner when I became pregnant, hasn’t ever seen us or met my LO for 4 years. It’s really odd, his girlfriend deleted me off Facebook and won’t accept any friend requests etc.

Moving onto now his girlfriend is now pregnant and they want us to come over for a coffee tomorrow. AIBU as i really don’t want to go? He’s not my friend, he hasn’t made an effort with us for 4 years but all of a sudden he wants to build a friendship again because they’re expecting!!

I know i’m probably being spiteful but I honestly don’t want anything to do with them. My DH is upset I won’t come and said he lacks friends so I need to make an effort.

Would you go? I wouldn’t call them friends! There’s being busy and then there’s just not making an effort!

Nah, fuck em.

I might go to see if they had any explanation eg fertility issues that made it difficult to spend time with a happy new mum.

I'm with you, that isn't a friend and he's got a cheek wanting to rekindle things now.
I'd just say he can go on his own if that's what he wants but that you don't feel comfortable with it because of the way he's treated you both.

I personally would try to understand what was going on at the time for them and I’d respect my husbands wishes

@SleeplessNutNotInSeattle from the conversation my partner has had with his friend it wasn’t planned! We’re all young parents, I had my LO at 19 and am aware that not all our friends are willing to make an effort with that. However I have cleared those people out of my live, surely aren’t real friends if they can’t even reply to a text! I’m aware i’m probably just being spiteful, i could just think of better ways to spend my work free afternoon!

Were you all about 19?

@Bluntness100 Yes we were! He’s now 27 and I’m
23!

I’d say I’d give it a crack and meet up. See what they have to say. I think when you’re having a baby at eighteen nineteen lives Move in different directions

he lacks friends so I need to make an effort.

You’re not stopping him going. He’s the one lacking friends, he gets to make an effort.

If you feel like it you could go once and if no apology or explanation arises then don’t bother again.

I’m peeing myself laughing at “respect my husbands wishes”

I expect better of you Bluntness! Feeling alright?

@Bluntness100 Do you not think it’s odd his girlfriend deleted me off FB a couple of months ago? I just feel very awkward!

I totally understand why you're pissed off, but if your DH wants to rekindle the friendship I'd go to support him.

Why, if my husband was lonely and wanted to meet with old friends I’d totally support him at least once and expect him to do the same for me.

I did some dickish things when I was 19. Id go tomorrow but have low expectations. Dont think of them as friends, but aquaintances.

@AnneLovesGilbert Haha creased up also! I have had enough negative people in my life to last me a lifetime! I just don’t see the point of surrounding ourselves by those type of people again!

DH make think he lacks friends but I don’t know why you would want any like that anyway!

[quote Maddie2019]@Bluntness100 Do you not think it’s odd his girlfriend deleted me off FB a couple of months ago? I just feel very awkward![/quote]
It depends she migh have been having a cull. Folks read too much into social media.

You don't need crap friends, I used to befriend most people so i always had friends but I don't now as so many of them turned out to be horrible.

Did she delete your husband too?

@StrictlyAFemaleFemale

I did some dickish things when I was 19. Id go tomorrow but have low expectations. Dont think of them as friends, but aquaintances.

Me too. Few teens haven’t

@AnneLovesGilbert Nope still friends with DH! Just found it really odd, particularly as I tried to read her a couple of weeks ago prior to us meant to be meeting and haven’t heard anything.

Well bless him, he needs to work on his self esteem and aim higher than people who ignore his wife and child.

If someone was rude to me I’d expect my husband to respect my wish to not have to spend time with them. So there.

Nah fuck them. Personally I'd message him or the girlfriend saying she's got a nerve just to make sure.

They weren’t rude as such, they just lost contact.

@Bluntness100 We did try to continue to see them when my LO was younger but they didn’t reply or would just keep rescheduling x

Unless it's you he doesnt like, then I'd go for definite. It might be a case of pissing you off so he can have him to himself.

Completely forgot to add that I actually ran in with this friend at food shopping 5 months ago! I smiled and said hello to be polite and he said one word and walked off! Thought that was really rude! can’t stand rude people!