Husband leaving me every month

[Mylifeisamess27]

Hi everyone. This is my 1st post on here so don’t judge. Just wanted some opinions. My husband constantly acts like he’s single. He goes on loads of holidays with his mates and am left looking after my 2 dc on my own. He doesn’t help me with any work in the house and when he gets home from work he’s constantly on his phone with his arse on the sofa. Would you be annoyed if he went on holiday every month. He thinks because he works he should get a few days break every month.

What the hell is the point of this arsehole? He isn’t even acting remotely as if he is married to you.

Tell him to stay in Amsterdam and not bother returning home.

Begin planning your exit.

OP you wanted confirmation that you're not being controlling, and you've got it. Are you married? If so, you may be entitled to a share of the equity in the house, and definitely to child maintenance.

Good luck him going to Morocco. Their borders aren't open for tourism at present so unless things change he won't be going on that trip.

Do you have separate finances? Does he have a saving account? I know you think you’re doing the right thing not claiming on the joint assets, OP, but everything within a marriage is considered joint assets. It doesn’t matter if you never did a days work in your life, you’ve been financially adversely affected, by raising children that belong to BOTH of you, while he has been able to continue to work. You deserve a fair share of all assets, as you will continue to be the main carer for the children and they should not suffer, because you’re too proud to claim it.

While he's away get your ducks in a row - find all his financial information and start preparing to go.

You deserve so much more than this!

Plan your exit carefully. Get legal advice first.

Say nothing to him until you have every single thing in place.

Anyone would be annoyed, he's acting like a single bloke. As PP's have said, when's it your turn?

If it were me, I'd leave him. Go back and live with parents temporarly. See a solicitor, to sort out a divorce and money from the house/accounts.

He's acting like a single, childless person.

Why does he feel he doesn't need to do half the parenting in the evenings and at weekends?

I would get my ducks in a row, find somewhere to live, take half of the joint account, then when he is on one of his weekends away move out, take all the furniture, leave him a plate, fork & spoon & his clothes, change your phone number & only communicate via solicitors. Go for half the house, you are entitled to it, half his pensions & apply to CMS, if he can afford all his trips, he can afford to pay. He thinks he is a great husband & dad because he puts in an appearance, dumps some money on the table, it doesn't work like that. Make sure he has regular access, every weekend if you like, he will have to either step up or it will cost him more, don't take any excuses.

Op, there are lots of “I know” in your posts, do you plan to do anything about this? Other than stay with your mum for a period?

I’d assume he is over the side too, so he acts like he is single in more ways than going on holiday. I guess it’s just a matter of time until he walks.

How would you see this resolving itself?

OP it will feel like a huge step, but once you make it it will b so much easier.

To help, here is a start of things you can try to find:
Passports - yours and kids
Birth and marriage certificates
Bank statements *
Pay slips and P60 *
Details of mortgage (who it is with, how much is still owing etc...)
Any qualification certificates that you have (GCSE, A-level, care qualifications etc...)

*these might be online so you might not have access to them.

Then practical things
Clothes for all,
Favourite toys
Possibly favourite bedding (sometimes really helps settle kids when in a new place)
Any sentimental stuff from the house you might want

You need a lot less than you think you do and can collect later.

If you want to, you could change your life this weekend. But it has to be because you want to not just some random on the internet.

I'd put money on this man cheating on you when he's away too.

I'd put money on this man cheating on you when he's away too.

@heartyrebel Amsterdam is notorious, isn't it? Prostitutes etc.

My God l am always up for a bit of me time and encourage DH to have a weekend with the lads if he ever wants to but every month?? No way!! Not on my watch! You might as well be single OP. Makes my shit itch hearing about men like this, as pp have just, just assuming you will stay at home and look after the kids. Kick him out.

Leave him and then he'll have the kids half the time Why do people say this? It's complete bollocks. He wouldn't have to have them at all in the event of a split. Yiu can't force someone to have their children. He's not going to become interested in his kids just because his wifes sacked him is he.

Go to your parents. Start divorce proceeding which will include some of the assets (house) which might set you up in your own life without this man baby excuse of a husband.

I'm a single mum, my life so is much better without my ex in it. My DD is very happy and so am I.

Good luck what ever you decide

Leave him, don't waste another year on him. He will never change.