Husband leaving me every month

[Mylifeisamess27]

Hi everyone. This is my 1st post on here so don’t judge. Just wanted some opinions. My husband constantly acts like he’s single. He goes on loads of holidays with his mates and am left looking after my 2 dc on my own. He doesn’t help me with any work in the house and when he gets home from work he’s constantly on his phone with his arse on the sofa. Would you be annoyed if he went on holiday every month. He thinks because he works he should get a few days break every month.

You really dont need MN to tell you this is not how you should be living, I am sure you already know that, but just looking for re assurance. He is a complete and utter selfish twat and doesn't give a toss about how you feel. He obviously prefers the company of his friends than he does yours or his childrens

Dont be a doormat anymore!

Did you work before the children?

You're at least entitled to loss of earnings.

Do seek legal advice and get as much as you should.
He's a prize twat and a terrible father.

Are his friends who he travels with all single? What is their group mentality? Drinking / drugs / partying?

Personally I would be concerned about my sexual health and would get STI checked ASAP as I’d fully expect he’s been cheating whilst away.

From all of your posts it seems clear that this man(child) has zero respect for you of his own children.

As you’re already more or less a single parent then it won’t be a hardship actually becoming one.

What a selfish cunt he is.

I’m not ashamed to say I’d go for a % of the house as part of the divorce settlement. He owes you 3 years of childcare by the sounds of it and then some.
As someone said above, don’t be shortsighted. You need to protect your future and ensure your children have what they need longer term.

Also as PP have said, you (and your children) are legally entitled to a proportion of the marriage assets (house, pension etc).

Will he even notice if you are gone when he gets back?
Or just when he wants feeding??
Make sure you take what you are due and don't let him wimp out of being a dad, they deserve better.

Yeah they all single like to all smoke weed. He is a selfish cunt. And yes I worked bed for my children as a health care assistant In hospital

I worked before my children. Sorry my phones changing the words lol

Nothing will change because he doesn't want to so he won't.
Why would he, you clean, cook, raise the children, deal with the day to day, give I assume regular sex and one thousand other things and he gets to walk in and out of it whenever he wants without ever doing more than put some (not all as he seems to have lots of disposable cash) money into the kitty.

That leaves your only option and that is for you to change things for yourself.

Honestly nothing is worse than a shitty relationship. Things might be hard for a while until you get on your feet but it's balanced by the emotional relief of not feeling kicked in the teeth by the person who is supposed to be your teammate and who was meant to love you.

If you looking after your children isn't work then he can do it as a form of relaxation while you go off out and do stuff can't he? I know you say he doesn't know how to look after them but I'm sure you didn't know either before you became a parent. He won't learn if you always pick up his slack.

Leave him OP. He is only being a drain on you and not offering any source of support or partnership. Please take the time when he is in Amsterdam to set things in place. Even if you don't need his money... You need to make sure that your kids are provided for in the future. Please contact a skilled attorney and make sure you get loss of earnings, child support etc. Do not assume he will provide for his children in the future if you don't ensure it now. Children will get very expensive during teens and you will need the child support. Plan the next steps carefully with the help of and support of family, friends and a good solicitor.

Good luck

Ridiculous and selfish. Sit down tell him if he wants the single life go for it. Leave him. I would. That's horse shit

@Mylifeisamess27

House is bought he had bought it before marriage. But I dong want anything from it he can keep it il build my own life slowly

OP, you're entitled to some of the assets of the marriage. You might not want them for you, but take your share for the DC. You'll need it as they grow up.

And also make sure you claim child support. It's right that he support his DC.

What is the point of being married to him op? Often when It's confirmed that someone is a shit husband,the op says "but he's a good father".
This waste of space is neither.
Also, are you absolutely sure he is where he says he is and with whom?

Fuck that for a game of soldiers!

Total flashback. My ex was just like this. I was a mother who should be happy to do everything with her children. Time away was as a family only but he could do what he wanted when he wanted. It got to the point where I was glad to see the back of him when he disappeared on his "jaunts" and didn't want him to come back. It won't get better. He's just too selfish.

@AttilaTheMeerkate why do people keep saying this like it’s true? 🙄 of course you can change the locks on you own home. People do it for all sorts of reasons But it’s also legal for him to forcibly enter. It depends on whether you think they’ll break in whether it’s worth doing or not

@Mylifeisamess27

House is bought he had bought it before marriage. But I dong want anything from it he can keep it il build my own life slowly

Doesn't mean dick all in the eyes of the law. Like PPs have said, get copies of EVERYTHING financial. Go to your parents house and contact a solicitor. You're entitled to at least half that house, as his wife, and probably more because you need to provide for the kids. You'll also be entitled to a nice chunk of maintenance. See how easy it is for him to swan off on holidays then. Take him for everything you can get, give it all to your kids. If he can't give them his time, he can give them his money.

God he's a waste of space isn't he?
I hope you're not doing any washing or meals etc for him.

As PP say photocopy all the financial stuff, then go off to your parents. When he rings you to find out where you are , tell him you're on holiday.

And you are entitled to half the house as you are married so stop with the idea of managing on your own.

Take him for everything you can. He should be providing for his children, which includes a roof over their heads and everything else. They're only little now, but they'll become a lot more expensive as they grow older.

@Itsjustabitofbanter yes but she'd be obliged to give him a key so what's the point? She can't permanently lock him out of his own house any more than he can do the same to her (without an order of some sort of course).

@Mylifeisamess27

I do have funds but he can’t look after the kids. He don’t know nothing about them. Dd is 3 and ds is 9 months

Then he needs to bloody well learn! Why is he exempt from parenting, useless twat he is.

OP, you have a golden opportunity to collect all the paperwork you need to leave him while he's off on his jollies to Amsterdam - it's a beautiful city, but I suspect the sights we enjoyed are not what he's going to see. Don't walk away without anything though - he should provide for his children.

I dont know how you've put up with that for so long OP. I would be so upset and angry. You know the right thing to do and I just want to wish you all the happiness for your brighter future without that idiot.

He is a pretend Husband, or moreso a non Husband,with no conscience,no respect for you or your children, all in all, an undesirable person to be with.

Heading straight to Amsterdam with his friends says a lot, he is not going to look at the achitecture or cruise on the canals is he?

If you are leaving him, OP, do get some legal advice about splitting assets. all the assets from your marriage are joint and they are his children, he might as well give them money if he can't give them anything else.