Relationship break to live my life

[LilllyMaay]

Hi! It’s my first time posting

I’m wanting some advice on my relationship.

Been with my OH for 5 years since I was a teen. He was my first everything. No children or House. He is my best friend and so sweet and caring, a perfect man. But I just don’t feel head over heels for him. We’ve drifted apart and had petty rows that only last an hour before we make up. I constantly snap at him and shout and get frustrated which causes arguments.

I’ve lived a pretty sheltered life, not being able to experience anything as I’ve been in a relationship and never had the confidence before hand. I’m in my early 20’s but since lockdown I feel like I want to experience things, make memories and just have some fun be a bit wild.

I don’t want to throw away our relationship but I need some space. Has anyone ever taken a break and how did it go? What would you do in my situation?

I think you'd be doing the right thing. You've changed so much in that time and you haven't had a chance to be free of ties. The thing is that if you have space from him, there's a huge chance one or other of you will end up with someone else in that time.

I’ve lived a pretty sheltered life, not being able to experience anything as I’ve been in a relationship and never had the confidence before hand. I’m in my early 20’s but since lockdown I feel like I want to experience things, make memories and just have some fun be a bit wild.

This is all you needed to write, honestly. You're in this relationship out of habit, nothing more. You need to end it and take the time to figure out who you really are.

Don't waste another day.

Maybe the relationship has run its course.

Acknowledging that doesn't take away all the good times and the way it's shaped your life and the person you've become, it just recognises that it's no longer right for you and doesn't meet your needs anymore.

Moving on from a relationship isn't like putting it in the bin to be discarded as if it never existed. All the good stuff stays part of you and can be revisited.

You're in your early 20s with no kids and no financial ties to this man? There is no earthly reason for you to stay in this relationship which no longer meets your needs.

You're not throwing anything away. You're simply moving on, away from a first love that has run its course, like the vast majority of people do.

There is a big world to explore (when we're allowed to again) - get out there and live!

Don't do it as a break. That's keeping him dangling which is not fair.

Definite clean end to the relationship so he is in no doubt and can start to move on.

Don't try to keep him as a friend. That's usually a selfish move if it happens immediately. You can be friends one day just not the week after a break up.

Splitting up in your twenties from a long term relationship that is OK but not great is a normal healthy experience.

Thanks everyone.

I think I know deep down that’s the truth. Everytime I talk to him I feel sad and guilty. I worry I will never have another relationship like it I don’t want him to be the one that got away.

I have disability’s as well which make me awkward and difficult

You have good taste in men. That's half the battle of ending up in a good relationship. You'll be fine. You won't be happy if you stay and the relationship will turn to shit. You already know it.

You will be fine.

@LilllyMaay

Thanks everyone.

I think I know deep down that’s the truth. Everytime I talk to him I feel sad and guilty. I worry I will never have another relationship like it I don’t want him to be the one that got away.

I have disability’s as well which make me awkward and difficult

It's normal to feel anxious about ending a relationship and concerned you may never find someone as good as them. I let my first serious relationship go on for 2 years longer than it should have because of this fear.

You know how you feel and the truth is, you need to move on. PPs are right though, you shouldn't call it a 'break' as that will just keep one or both of you hanging.

You're young. There is plenty of time for you to find that person you truly love in the way you want to.