Decided enough is enough but will never we right time to 'do it'

[user1471500179]

Been together almost 20 years, been decending further and further into point of no return over last 4 years. Nobody's fault just should have called it a day sooner.

Previous discussions lead to him saying I could keep house (joint mortgage) but now when I say 'I'm done' I can't live like this anymore- no affection, no team, no support...he says it's not a good time. It never will be will it? It just needs doing and getting on with but how?

No - it will never be a good time.
Do you have DC? Are they young?
Does he have somewhere he can go?
Have you tried counselling or sex therapy?
Is there any love left between you at all?

There is never a right time; there will always be something, some occasion or whatnot that further delays the inevitable.

Someone has to be the adult here and get on with the process of separation. What does living like this achieve; nothing but more resentment and pain for both of you. Separating will rip the plaster off properly rather than a continuing a slow demise of a relationship by 1000 cuts.

Many people can be really afraid of moving on and or taking responsibility for their own lives; sometimes such is hidden by the mask of children and or financial worries.