Partners hygiene....

[Samantha003]

Looking for advice regarding my partners hygiene. So overall these habits I will tell you I'll just be clear, to family and friends you would NEVER know. We're a clean family and house. I'm more on the ocd side so I clean a lot! Inc myself!

Anyway my partner more often than not will not brush his teeth at bedtime only morning

Very rarely uses actual shower gel so although he's not smelly it's just musky smells

Uses deodorant but no longer wears a nice aftershave for going out

I know the aftershave is preference. But all together I just feel really put off by these lazy habits. It 100% impacts how I am towards him because I am the total opposite. He never used to be lazy. Luckily he isn't a smelly guy (BO) but still these issues really offend me.

I've bought it up numerous times, he either denies or we end up arguing because I'm being 'horrible' or nagging him...yep that old chestnut

How to tackle ??? Help !

I'm not sure I understand the issue. He showers regularly? not using soap/shower gel is a little unusual but actually, it's not great for your skin anyway. I think water alone is ok if showers are regular (although I prefer to use a scent free gel myself). Not cleaning teeth before bed isn't great but I've come across plenty of men who don't on a regular basis, including my exh and my bf.

I don't wear perfume (mainly because I ran out and would rather wear none than cheap, horrible stuff) but as long as I don't smell bad I don't think it matters, especially as I'm not going out much at the moment anyway!

You say you have OCD so maybe your expectations are a little unrealistic, his might be a bit relaxed so could you compromise a bit? Ultimately though its his body and his choice as nothing of what you have said is that bad IMO.

The main yuk thing is the not cleaning his teeth at night. My ex was the same, his breath stunk! I'd stop kissing or hugging him until he started cleaning his teeth.

If he doesn't have BO, the shower gel thing I could put up with.

Do you actually sleep with such a caveman?
Dh knows he has to smell like a sex God to stand any chance!

Yuk. The problem is once you know, it makes you hypersensitive to it. My OH went through a phase of not washing his hands after using the loo. Not just pee either. Then he’d get into bed and want to rub his hands over my body. Once he used the loo then tried to put his finger in my mouth! I mean it’s just vile. It took lots of pressure to get him washing his hands. It’s like training a bloody toddler!

Not Toothbrushing is kinda gross
Washing with no soap is OK I guess, but the musky smell is a no no for me

You're right it's probably a case of we're opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of our hygiene.

I just think make a little effort ! There's absolutely no reason to not wash with soap. He's no skin complaints. Especially during a pandemic where soap CLEANS germs and bacteria.

But you're right I am hypersensitive to it now. I can't not notice, I can't ignore and drop it in my head.

The teeth brushing I just can't understand. It's pure laze. The odd occasion is ok but to brush your teeth once in 24 hours

Not brushing teeth is absolutely vile and he'll be lucky to have any teeth left in a decade if he carries on like that. Soap is there for a reason and not washing with it is very odd behaviour as surely the point of a wash is to come out smelling clean and fresh! Has he always been like this or is he depressed?