Views of using porn in a relationship?

[itsme333]

Just that really. What are you views on it?
I know some (and after a long time thinking about it, me) feel like it's a form of cheating. I wouldn't invite someone else into my bedroom and not speak to them or touch them but watch them do things to get me off. But what are your views?

Just to add, I'm not asking for a criticism of my views, it's each to their own. Just want to get a bigger picture of what people think of it

@SoulofanAggron

I'd be interested in your answers to my questions about your fee to be part of a porn film, and if you would be happy for your daughter to do it.

@cosycatsocks I reckon I would be a prostitute for a fairly modest sum. But then, I have a severe mental illness.

And how much I could expect at 43 could be limited.

Say £80 for the sex. £120 for it to be more 'nasty.' (All with protection of course.) £200 if filmed? Obviously more if we were filming for a long period of time.

How does this relate to porn being non consensual. Some people do porn for money. If it was for free they'd say no! So, not rape in my view although if you want to redefine the word 'rape' then go right ahead it just means we are using the same word to describe different concepts.

@CloudsCanLookLikeSheep IDK if most porn/prostitution is rape (unless it's done at gunpoint or the equivalent.) A lot of it is exploitation though, or a woman's financial or mental state or trauma etc, including addictions. If someone doesn't have an addiction before they enter prostitution, I imagine some do to cope with what they have to do.

I'm no fan of porn but if someone chooses to work in porn, let's not deny they have any agency or alternative choices they could have made. Not denying some lifestyles eg drug addiction, may make it an attractive option, but that's not the same as rape. But there's the mumsnet definition of rape and the rest of the world's.

Exactly, that's what I'm saying. It's not often rape but it is exploitation.

And for some women- addicted to hard drugs or something and with little education etc, their choices are pretty limited if they want to get the amount of money they feel they need for their addiction.

@cosycatsocks That’s precisely why I try so hard to ensure the porn I watch is free from those issues, by being mindful of who makes it and doing a bit of research to check on conditions.
I also wouldn’t want my daughter to work in a sweatshop for pennies, so I try not to buy clothes made in those places.

I detest porn for many reasons. My fiance doesn't look at porn. He has in the past but only occasionally and never a regular thing. He said that once in a relationship he never looks because he feels it is disloyal to the woman he is with. We have discussed the issues surrounding porn and he says himself that it is vile. If he had been looking at it I would finish things.

From a personal point of view, I’m relaxed about it. I (female) watch from time to time and prefer homemade to professional shots of women making silly noises.

My concern would be if it impacted on a relationship or if the porn itself was violent.

We watch it together and enjoy it

Leaving aside the extremely dubious ethical concerns I would find it very disrepectful if my partner was sneaking around behind my back to view it, especially as I am a very willing partner in that area!

@nightowl558 this is exactly how I feel! I'm exactly the same. My friend said to me hat sometimes people need a bit more, but I'm sorry if I'm in a relationship that's all I need

Personal view is that it's rather grim and I instantly get massively turned off by any guy who uses it.
It's a deal breaker for me, my partner knows this and while I don't check up on him if I ever did suspect he was using it then it would be the end for me. I don't think I could respect him and I certainly wouldn't want to touch him again.