I feel like I've been dumped ..what do I do?

[betrixpotter]

18 months ago I started dating a guy.
We got on well then out of the blue he said he didn't want a serious relationship and that he was still sleeping around.
I said I was okay with it(I wasn't )
Christmas I broke down and cried to him and told him I really had feelings and him sleeping around hurt me.
He told me I knew what he was like and he told me I would get hurt.
Anyway he said no More sleeping together because it made me go "nuts".
He won't even meet me as a friend now.
We still text and chat on the phone every day.
I told him I would rather him in my life as a friend than nothing.
He won't meet up with me,I ask him and he says no because you know what will happen then you will go nuts when I sleep around again.
So basically he doesn't even like me as a person or a friend.
I'm hurt

Completely toxic, get out

Sometimes you just have to put your foot down and protect yourself.

He is right, you will get hurt.

He hasn’t lied to you about his attentions so stop wasting time on him and find someone else!

Do both of you a favor and block his number. Enough is enough now.

He has been honest. He isn't saying what you want to hear, but at least he isn't giving you false hope. Block and move on

Did you post about this before? It sounds familiar.

He's being honest about who and what he is. He does not want commitment and wants to sleep around. Find someone who wants commitment and monogamy. When you stop focusing on him and 'date yourself" you will be happier. He is not worth your time and attention. But you are. Treat yourself the way you want someone to treat you. It works!

Also, if you were honest with yourself- do you really want to be his friend ? Sounds like you deeply care about him and want a relationship. Being friends is only going to cause you a huge amount of pain

Jesus, just let it go.

You run a mile, that's what you do.

Break all contact with him, remove him from your life, let your feelings of loss and rejection play out and fade away. Move on.

Don't keep begging someone who doesn't want you and didn't treat you as he should have.

Breaking it off means working through painful feelings then moving on. Continuing this toxic nonsense in an effort to avoid that means you feel rejected each day and that your own behaviour is becoming increasingly dysfunctional.

You need to value yourself more than to beg people like this. What did you learn about relationships growing up to think this situation is ok or normal?

@OhCaptain

Did you post about this before? It sounds familiar.

Yes especially the going "nuts" bit !

So if I have the timeline correct, you got together with him around Christmas 2018, he then told you that he was sleeping with other people, you continued to see him until Christmas 2019 at which time you asked him to be exclusive and he said no. So you’ve been broken up for 7 months?
He isn’t sleeping with you now because he doesn’t want the hassle of the emotional stuff or any obligation. He is keeping in contact with you because he knows you’ll shag him with minimal effort if he doesn’t have anyone else on the go, plus you’re a good ego boost because he knows you want him. Sorry, I know that sounds very harsh but I don’t think it’s often helpful to sugarcoat these things. He is using you. You will never be in an exclusive, happy relationship with him. For your own sake you need to block and move on.

You aren't a friend are you? You're a clingy woman who wants to date him when he doesn't want to date you. He has every right to cut you off and should have done it a long time ago. It was weak of him to keep in contact with you.

You feel like you have been dumped - you have

He is a cunt you are absolutely mad to have accepted him sagging around while with you! Honestly, where is your self worth? I mean that kindly - NO woman with a decent self esteem would have said that was fine. And pricks like this always go for women with poor self esteem. Always!
Please get him out of your life.

Apologies, I didn't read to the end of the post before my rant head switched on!!

@TheStuffedPenguin

You feel like you have been dumped - you have

To be fair, I don't think she has been dumped. it doesn't sound like they were every actually together. More like they have been sleeping together are he has been upfront about the extend of his commitment

He's not a cunt. He told OP pretty early on that he didn't want a serious relationship. He's now been made aware that its hurting her so he's doing the best thing possible by distancing her. Though even better would be to stop all communication.
Move on OP. He's been very clear. You are only hurting yourself by holding on to him.

Cut him out completely. Today.
He is not a friend. He is nothing.
He's been perfectly clear about what he wants and doesn't want.
Honestly, get rid of him because he's just keeping you hanging around so that he'll always have a Plan B if he can't find anyone else to shag.
Block him on everything today then you can move on with your life and find someone who is interested in committing to you.

Christ you sound a nightmare.

He told you what he was like. You still went for it.

Don't play with fire and expect not to get burnt.

Honestly OP, you're living some kind of half life here. You really need to rip the plaster off (i. e. stop contacting him entirely) - yes it'll hurt at first, but you're not being fair to yourself.

I'll bet he's loving the attention though!

@OhCaptain

Did you post about this before? It sounds familiar.

Yes. It’s not even evolving.

He wants no strings sex and he knows you can’t do that; it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you as a friend but he knows that you can’t be friends and that you’ll get hurt again. In all honesty a lot of men would just carry on sleeping with someone without caring they were hurting them so I would take this as a good thing and block and delete his number and move on.

@DuesToTheDirt

You run a mile, that's what you do.

Sounds like a plan