I feel like I've been dumped ..what do I do?

[betrixpotter]

18 months ago I started dating a guy.
We got on well then out of the blue he said he didn't want a serious relationship and that he was still sleeping around.
I said I was okay with it(I wasn't )
Christmas I broke down and cried to him and told him I really had feelings and him sleeping around hurt me.
He told me I knew what he was like and he told me I would get hurt.
Anyway he said no More sleeping together because it made me go "nuts".
He won't even meet me as a friend now.
We still text and chat on the phone every day.
I told him I would rather him in my life as a friend than nothing.
He won't meet up with me,I ask him and he says no because you know what will happen then you will go nuts when I sleep around again.
So basically he doesn't even like me as a person or a friend.
I'm hurt

He's being honest with you, but you aren't listening.

The whole "let's stay friends" thing is usually driven by one person, who doesn't want the relationship to end and clings to "friendship" hoping that their ex will change their mind.

You need to cut contact and block him.

Block his phone number and block him on social media.
He doesn't care about your feelings.
You are feeding his ego by clinging.
Grab whatever tiny bit of self respect you have and move on.

For god sake have some self respect and stop contacting him.

Block and delete! You have to go completely no contact. It’s honestly the best way to move on, after a while you will feel better. You have to stick to it though and go completely cold turkey. It definitely works eventually!

You can never be friends with him, it will only keep the wound open. I'm not sure if he is trying to be kind to you by maintaining contact, but he is being cruel by not cutting contact completely. You will have to do it yourself- block all means of contact and spend some time alone before you start looking for someone who wants to be only with you.

Well hes right, hes doing a good thing. Leave him alone now.

This....yet.....again.

He’s right, you are nuts.

This will go on and on. OP will disappear and pop back up again in a couple of months with the same post.

You haven’t been dumped... because you wasn't his girlfriend! You do sound obsessed. He can’t dump someone he wasn’t in a relationship with.

@OhCaptain

This will go on and on. OP will disappear and pop back up again in a couple of months with the same post.

If only. Just a couple of weeks since the last one.

Block him and move on!

Sorry you’re hurting OP but you have been posting this exact thread for awhile now. At some point you are going to have to take responsibility for your own happiness into YOUR OWN HANDS and stop looking for it in this guy (or any other for that matter).

An emotionally mature man gets involved with a woman knowing that there will be feelings involved. He's not naive enough to think that he can just tell you not to feel. He just plans to enjoy you like a resource.

This guy liked you enough to have sex with you and hang out with you but he didn't value you, he didn't think he was lucky to have you. You KILLED time.

What you need to do is to GET. TURNED. OFF.

x

It gets easier.

be glad this situation that eroded you is over now.

Stop responding to his texts.

No more contact will help you heal faster
It's not what you want but you will see it's for the best. Better men around the corner.

He's not a cunt. He told OP pretty early on that he didn't want a serious relationship. He's now been made aware that its hurting her so he's doing the best thing possible by distancing her. Though even better would be to stop all communication.
Move on OP. He's been very clear. You are only hurting yourself by holding on to him
This. He has been totally honest with you and is now doing the decent thing to protect you as it's obvious you are a bit of a drag to him with no will power or self respect.

He's protecting you from the inevitable hurt he knows he will cause. He's been nothing but honest. Move on.
The reason he won't meet up with you, even in a friend capacity is because he knows that you have stronger feelings for him, he's not being horrible to be horrible. He's just telling you the truth.

Please don't stay or get back with this horrible man.

You sound young OP you've got a whole world out there, don't waste it on this abusive arse.

@bumhead

Please don't stay or get back with this horrible man.

You sound young OP you've got a whole world out there, don't waste it on this abusive arse.

He isn't an abusive arse atall. He has made it quite clear that he doesn't want a relationship, he is sleeping with other women, and there is no future for a proper relationship.

He has been completely honest by the sounds the OP has made.

The problem is OP wants more than the man wants to offer, despite him obviously telling her he is not willing to be in a relationship

Think I disagree with posters who say he's a c..t. He could have lied and strung you along. And he isn't. Am sorry It's hard for you OP, but I think he is doing the right thing. For you too. He was honest and maybe he isn't the type who wants to be a user. However much it hurts, no contact is probably best. Sorry it's so tough. But give it time. And delete his number.

He’s been upfront about what he wants, you know he doesn’t want a relationship (with you). Find someone that’s on the same page as you.

@P999

Think I disagree with posters who say he's a c..t. He could have lied and strung you along. And he isn't. Am sorry It's hard for you OP, but I think he is doing the right thing. For you too. He was honest and maybe he isn't the type who wants to be a user. However much it hurts, no contact is probably best. Sorry it's so tough. But give it time. And delete his number.

Although he did that when she was no trouble and suppressed her emotions.

He said whoah to himself only when she went "nuts". Ie woke up to the fact that she was being used like the miss easy will do for right now.

I'm sorry you are so hurt. He should have been honest from day one. It was wrong and unfair of him to not do that.

However, he's not willing to offer what you want. More than that, he doesn't owe you a relationship with him on your terms. Or at all. He's told you very clearly what he wants (eventually!) and doesn't want. You have to respect that.
Your part is to decide whether what he wants is what you want.
It isn't, which means you walk away.

Eventually he’ll meet someone he wants to settle down with and then he’ll phase you out completely. Take control before that occurs - stop texting right now.

Why do you so desperately want to be with this man? You can't be in love with him, because you are fundamentally incompatible. So any 'love' is just coming from your side.

What are you afraid of? Never meeting anyone else? There are plenty of (much more compatible) men out there. Don't hold so desperately onto one you don't have and try for crumbs of comfort. Go out and find a man who wants what you want.

This one is keeping you as far away as he possibly can. He's talking to you because he's probably afraid that you will sit on his doorstep if he cuts you off. And I can practically guarantee that he is laughing about you with his mates.

Do yourself a favour. Block his number, do some work on yourself to work out why you are so attached to the unavailable man, and then get out there and find yourself someone lovely.