Is it true that women are turned off by feminine men?

[sundestroyer]

I'm a man in my 20s and growing up was always a bit feminine. A few lads made fun of me for it but nothing too serious. I also have had few friends

I've been told in college by a few women that I'm cute but a bit too feminine for them (in terms of my height, I'm 5ft 4in and my voice). I'm a bit torn. On one hand, I feel I shouldn't care because I should be myself. On the other hand, if I wanted to get a girlfriend, I'd realize that I need to maximize my chances of being attractive and act masculine as most women are attracted to masculinity.

I'm also bisexual which I think might repulse women. Is this the case?

If the feminine traits didn't put me off the bisexuality would but I'm sure you'll find some takers. There's a lid for every pot and all that. Yes it's good to self improve ( nicer clothes, grooming, healthy body, more confidence) but changing your essential self by trying to be 'masculine' won't work/ won't be sustainable.

I'm 5" 8 and Dp is maybe 5" 4.
you'll find the people for you, op, have confidence in yourself.

I'm always more attracted to a feminine man than a rugby player. And have always had a thing for short men. I'm short myself and find that men of a similar height click better physically in every way.

A lot of women won't be attracted to you because of your height or your unmacho looks. But then. there are probably a lot of women you are not attracted to because of their shape or weight or colouring. You only need to attract a few good women and you can have a very good life. And you only need to attract one for life if you want a monogamous long term relationship or marriage.

OffToSingapore

Not wanting to date an effeminate or bisexual man doesn't make one homopbobic or biphobic....that's quite an ignorant uneducated comment to make.

Everyone has the right to decide who to date and preference does not equate to homo or bi phobia.

If a man doesn't want to date a masculine bisexual woman...that doesn't mean he's homopbobic or biphobic. In the same way choosing to date within your race, doesn't make you racist.

I have no desire to be in a relationship with a man who has a sexual interest in other men.

You'll be someone's cup of tea, don't worry. I'm sure that if you try to be at ease with yourself, that you'll find someone.

I think you need to let go of the most women are attracted to masculinity thing. You are not looking to attract ‘most women’. You are looking to attract someone who connects with you and loves you for who you are and them you. Be yourself - it’s the quickest way to find the right person.

I don't like too feminine men, no. I also wouldn't date someone who is bi sexual but repulse me? No.
Not saying I like men to macho men but too feline puts me off a lot. I'm sure you'll find the right person in time.

Too feline bloody auto correct! Feminine**

I have several male friends who don't fit the caricature of masculinity but I wouldn't describe them as feminine because that is buying into sexist ideas of what men and women "should" be like. they all have found partners without too much trouble.

the idea that "women" have tastes that can be categorised and generalised is fundamentally sexist. each woman is an individual human being. pretending to be something you are not in order to make yourself attractive to the sort of person you think you want to attract is silly. be yourself, unless you are a selfish dick in which case focus on self-improvement until you aren't. don't focus on finding a partner spend time doing stuff you enjoy with other people who enjoy those things and potential partners will become apparent.

I wouldn’t date a short, effeminate, bi man because I’m not attracted to those characteristics, doesn’t mean most women feel the same and I’m sure many feel differently. You just need to find one person that appreciates you. Don’t try to change who you are, authenticity counts for a lot.

I pretty much love effeminate men! Noel Fielding, Eddie Izzard, what's his name from Dallas Buyers club, Brian Molko (effeminate and bi sexual) . I would definitely date a bi sexual man in fact it turn me on! Agree the height is the only thing but I'm 5'6, if you go for women who are shorter than 5'4 (plenty are) I don't think it will be a problem. Be yourself and be honest. It might be harder when you are young but as people get older they tend to look for different qualities in a partner like kindness and loyalty. Confidence is also very attractive.

As a short, bi woman who would run screaming from a "man's man", you carry on doing you! We're out there :)

A lot of the time refined is interpreted as effeminate, so are you really effeminate or just refined and quiet?

Would I want someone who wore makeup? not really, but then I also wouldn't touch a cocky knuckle-dragger with a bargepole.

Don't try an adopt a faux persona to please the masses - be proud of who you are, and if they don't like it fuck 'em.

*refinement

I personally am extremely unattracted to feminine men, however not all women are.

Totally agree with others - I have never been into manly men, and I am 5'5" (and passionate about my heels), but dated a bloke of 5'3". He dumped me for a short girl. He had no problems getting girls, and was definitely not macho.

You are the only person who can be you. Don't let the world miss out because you are pretending to be someone else.

I’ll be honest, you wouldn’t be my cup of tea, but I wouldn’t be yours either. There is a lid for every pot and there’ll will be lots of women out there for whom you’d be the best thing ever, just as you are, without you having to pretend to be someone you’re not. There’s nothing wrong with you just the way you are.

Finding someone to live and be lived by is a sorting process. It’s not about turning yourself into something different that you think others will find more attractive. But instead, it’s about being fully yourself and giving yourself the chance to meet new people and being open to the possibilities.
Your goal is to meet someone who will adore you, and you have to let people get to know the real you for that to have a chance of happening.

There's no point in changing something that is a real part of you while looking for a partner. You don't want someone who fell in love with your acting, you want someone who fell in love with you. Yes, some types of men can more easily find sexual partners than others, but tgere's no difference when it comes to find a partner that really suits you. That's hard for everyone,

Regarding the height, I know that some women don't want a shorter man. On tge other hand plenty of women fancy the pants off of Peter Dinklage so I guess that it's clear that we're all different people with different tastes.

@PurpleButterflyAway

I personally am extremely unattracted to feminine men, however not all women are.

Can I ask why you are? I know it's pretty common for women not to be attracted to femininity in men.

One of my long term BFs was quite feminine and the other was quite masculine. Attraction goes deep for me — much deeper than appearances and I guess it all boils down to how he makes me feel. I never rule anything or anyone out. I think the more open minded you are the more women you’ll meet. If you have a narrow view of what you’re attracted to, it’ll be harder. Eyes open chin up & FLY!

You are not feminine
Let's start by that
You might have femine traits
Eg your voice.
But if you don't like that you could change that.
Height I have understood why that is an issue. Saying that you wouldn't date a man under 5ft7 is like a man saying he wouldn't date a woman size 12 and over. What does height have to do with anything. That is the shallowest thing to turn someone down for. The fact that you are bi could turn some people off. I think for me it would as.... Well to be honest I am not too sure.. But that is just a feeling.

Also: maybe your friends are some stereotypical neanderthal man? Say that the like soccer drink beer and piss over the toiletseat (and leave it).

Be you. Be what makes you happy. Change what you aren't comfortable with. Accept what you can't change. And love yourself for who you are

But mostly. Surround yourself with people who value you, for you ♥️

Also op: women might be turned of by femine man,

BUT.... Then when they find them selves in a relationship with a stereotypical man, they complain about him never being home, and always our fishing or playing soccer. Or watching soccer all the time. Or being emotionally unavaible. The list goes on endlessssslyyy... Haha

Wouldn’t bother me. I appreciate ‘masculine’ traits in men like being large, bring chivalrous or having a drop voice but I’m not remotely put off by physically effeminate men and general prefer men with ‘feminine’ interests. By far the biggest turn off for me in a man (excluding obvious problems like rudeness or poor hygiene) is an interest in foot ball. It’s complete irrational but when I see DH watching football I go right off him for a good half hour.

@Loveinatimeofcovid
i get you! I’ve given over a lot of my life to watching sports I have no interest in! ⚽️