Is it true that women are turned off by feminine men?

[sundestroyer]

I'm a man in my 20s and growing up was always a bit feminine. A few lads made fun of me for it but nothing too serious. I also have had few friends

I've been told in college by a few women that I'm cute but a bit too feminine for them (in terms of my height, I'm 5ft 4in and my voice). I'm a bit torn. On one hand, I feel I shouldn't care because I should be myself. On the other hand, if I wanted to get a girlfriend, I'd realize that I need to maximize my chances of being attractive and act masculine as most women are attracted to masculinity.

I'm also bisexual which I think might repulse women. Is this the case?

@corlan

Just be yourself. Bernie Ecclesstone's 5ft 3 and he's never had any trouble pulling women.

To be fair, Bernie Eccelsstone is a lot taller when he stands on his wallet @corlan

@sundestroyer be yourself, everyone else is taken.

I'm actively repulsed by "masculine" men and only date men under 6ft (I'm 5'9"). There is a lid for every pot and absolutely no point trying to be who you arent.

I recommend you read a book called The Art Of Seduction. It will open your eyes to the many ways a human being can be attractive to others.

Different women like different things.

My best mate and I have similar tastes in many things yet looking at celebs, Jason Statham does it for me and Ben Whishaw does it for her.

I was about to say that real life is different again but then I realised my DH is a lot closer to Statham than Whishaw and the opposite is true for her DH.

The only thing doomed to failure with ALL women in the long term is pretending to be something you are not.

Oh op! If I wasn’t married I would date you I love effeminate men, I find it incredibly attractive when a man can embrace that side of himself. I’m also short (like lots of women!) so don’t worry about being 5’4 and would have no problem with you being bisexual. I think the dating world now is so cut throat it’s easy to feel like you don’t measure up, but there will be plenty of women out there like me who would describe you as their ideal type.

I wouldn’t date a bisexual man or feminine one. People are allowed to have preferences. I’m sure some will be interested.

Different strokes for different folks.

I'm not attracted to feminine men, nor am I attracted to feminine women. I like manly men and masculine women - masculine women are the most attractive combination visually to me.

Just do you. A fake personality will be far worse in terms of attracting people.

Well women tend not to think the same things because we're individual people with different thought processes so...I'm going to say no. I'm not a big fan of masculinity in general. A man being on the feminine side is the type of man I'd probably be interested in if I could be bothered with dating.

Yep, cos THIS guy was never an international sex symbol 🤣

Love an effeminate guy.

most women are attracted to masculinity

I would say that most women are attracted to confidence rather than masculinity. So my advice would be to work on your self-confidence rather than trying to be more masculine.

Please be true to yourself... The right person is out there... Just a case of finding them!

Being effeminate wouldn't bother me but the bisexuality bit would. You'll find someone who loves you for you

Mick Jagger, him out of One Direction, a whole host of glam rockers, David Tennant (babe alert), etc etc there are loads of not-very through to hardly-at-all masculine sex symbols tbh. Seriously, read The Art Of Seduction... there is a formula to it all, along with the art of it.

Yeh I dont think 'masculine' is necessarily a go-to for at least half of us. Studies found that dad bod was preferable to gym bod for example.

Confidence (but not arrogance) and comfort in ones own skin, is sexy.

We are all attracted to who we are attracted to, I don't think it's something we consciously choose. I'm not attracted to feminine men and I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who was bi. But there's someone for everyone and nobody should change for anyone!

I'm also bisexual which I think might repulse women. Is this the case?

There's quite a lot of bi-phobia/homophobia on this site sadly. A lot of Mumsnetters either think bi-sexual men are secretly gay and just one step closer to coming out of the closet. Or they're repulsed by the idea of a man having had sex with another man. I think it's a good screener though. I mean would you want to date a woman who held views like those?

For the record, I'm a heterosexual woman and I would absolutely date a bi-sexual guy (in fact it would be a plus point for me). I also find slightly feminine/camp guys much more of a turn on than stereotypically blokey men. The height would be the only stumbling block for me (but then I'm fairly tall at 5'8, there are plenty of women your height or shorter around). It's a cliche, but just be yourself. Pretending to be something you're not is never a good idea.

I love feminine-looking men! Don't worry, OP - there will be the right girl out there for you somewhere.

I agree that confidence (but please, not arrogance) is attractive. A man who is happy and sure of himself is very attractive.

*@ OffToSingapore

It's not unreasonable for someone to not be attracted to someone who has engaged certain sexual behaviour or engages in sexual practices that they might not like. Men who have sex with other men are the demographic that are at most risk from contracting HIV.
www.avert.org/professionals/hiv-around-world/western-central-europe-north-america/uk
If a hetrosexual man had certain sexual proclivities that I didn't like then I would not consider him a viable sexual partner, that wouldn't be phobic, it's just my sexual preferences. I wouldn't expect a man who didn't find my sexual proclivities a turn on to consider me as a sexual partner. It's personal preference and when it comes to dating we are all entitled to them. When it comes to dating and sex we are allowed to discriminate. I don't find blonde men attractive, is that phobic?

I am personally but everyone's different.

@Iwalkinmyclothing who is the last Kingdom character you are talking about? Could it be Tony Regbo? I fell for him completely in this season which then put me on to watching Reign!

Ooh I saw Reign. He was francis right? He is dreamy!

But then I think would have described him (regbo) as having a youthful, boyish look more than feminine. But some ppl might describe it as feminine. Depends on perception I guess.

@Maria53 it's Haeston, played by Jeppe Beck Laursen... I love the character, he is brilliant.

But oh gosh yes Tony Regbo, beautiful man!

I find (found) David Bowie incredibly sexy, ditto Noel Fielding who used to wear make up and platform boots.