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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why do abusive people abuse?

92 replies

WhoamI83 · 07/07/2020 19:54

I’ve read about FOG, fear, obligation and guilt, but why do they need this, what are they afraid of? They control you to achieve what....in my marriage both of us were miserable. Me because I was being abused and him because I wasn’t doing what he wanted because I was down trodden and exhausted. I know why I stayed, because of the cycles and the dependence, but why did he. Why didn’t he get someone more suited to him?

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WhoamI83 · 07/07/2020 22:34

Before me he used to be a drug addict. I found it out when I was already in the cycle.
Maybe control of me was like a hit from a drug, it just made him feel alive even though you know it’s bad.

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NCsonoOuting · 07/07/2020 22:36

Have you talked to your GP about counselling?

WhoamI83 · 07/07/2020 22:42

They gave me some online anxiety course to do. Which is great but I don’t exactly have control over my memories all the time, they haven’t been unloaded and processed properly with explanations. I was told to lower my anxiety first. Which I have but I’m still confused!

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Laburnam · 07/07/2020 22:47

Abusers are v clever! My mum used to support witnesses that were appearing in court. In her training she was told that an abuser can quite quickly single out his next victim

WhoamI83 · 07/07/2020 22:53

I’m pretty sure from my memory that I am not the first person who he has done this to but I’m definitely the longest! Guess it’s to my credit that I managed to escape almost intact and took the kids away. I think his last girlfriend he got addicted to drugs and she had her daughter taken away. My memory is very patchy and when I write this it sounds bloody ridiculous but I was in too deep to process it. I think he makes his girlfriends mad. Jesus, it’s very scary. I can’t believe I got trapped in this trap. There is I’m sure something wrong with him and also me because I loved him and still feel I did once.

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CardsforKittens · 07/07/2020 22:59

I think it’s an attitude thing. Abusers often believe they should be in charge, that others should defer to them, that men are innately superior to women, and that women should know their place. If you show signs of having your own opinion it’s perceived as an insult, because you should know your opinion is less valuable. It’s like you’re a cardboard cutout instead of a real person. I’m not sure if all abusers are like this, maybe there are other reasons, but this was my ex.

SoulofanAggron · 07/07/2020 23:02

I think they abuse because they can.

And usually they do get something out of it- narcissistic supply, attention, sex, money, an ego boost etc.

he would say I was everything, his whole world but it just felt wrong.

They will say anything to get what they want, to keep you on that string, mess with you, etc.

I obviously had my own identity and dreams and they didn’t match his.

Abusers don't really like their victims having their own identity and wants at all.

So he just needed to feel like he had control of the relationship and of me because it made him feel better?

Probably, also supposedly it is their sense of ownership and entitlement. Like you said, he thought you should do X, Y, Z because you're his wife.

I can’t believe I got trapped in this trap.

Be proud of yourself that you escaped. xxx

There is I’m sure something wrong with him and also me because I loved him and still feel I did once.

There's something wrong with him. You were his victim, it could happen to anyone. We can only try and learn the red flags and tell dodgy ones to fuck off earlier/while we're still not in over our heads.

I would seek private therapy BTW. EMDR can be good for softening the impact of painful memories. I prioritized therapy even though I'm not earning, I paid with it out of my disability payments. It is worth it if you find the right person for you.

WhoamI83 · 07/07/2020 23:18

So I was a victim.....end of. He definitely was getting something from me because I never understood why if I was so unless that he didn’t just go and find one of those other women. It’s probably because they wouldn’t have put up with his abuse and never got trapped. I was way too willing for this man, I gave myself up too easily in return for his measly tit bits of love.

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WhoamI83 · 07/07/2020 23:22

I tried to fix and control the bastard in order to make my life more liveable. I thought if I was better he would love me more but I was just getting weaker and weaker the more I carried the blame and the guilt. He put so much blame on my shoulders and just went about his day working and I was at home drowning. Now he acts like he is nice and loving. Sick

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JustBeingMoi · 08/07/2020 08:00

I wonder this a lot. I'm just out of a verbally and emotionally abusive marriage. The essence of it is that I loved someone who in the end didn't exist. He told me he treated me the way he did to hurt me, but I think there was more to it then that

I jumped from a toxic home straight into a relationship with him. Growing up i hadn't had the opportunity to see a healthy relationship. My opinion and needs were rarely considered, i learned that safety and peace was to hide, go out or stay quiet. I was blamed for everything.

I have since discovered I'm a submissive character. Someone who will put other peoples needs before my own. Because this is how I've learned to behave. He is a very dominant character, and for a time this worked. I went along with things and rarely pushed my own views, although when I did we argued. However as I gained in confidence due to professional success, things became less easy between us. The equilibrium was disrupted. Same when I feel pregnant and I started to not have the appetite for certain foods or the energy to do certain things. I realise at this point I started to put myself and our unborn baby first, further upsetting the equilibrium.

When our daughter was born everything went to hell. He could be very critical of me, was angry when he came home from work and I asked for his help because I was at my wits end and exhausted. He got angry when I was struggling and overwhelmed. That is when the name calling and degrading of my character began. And I did react sensitively. For one I was suffering from PND and anxiety and for another, all my childhood I'd been told I wasnt good enough, and now he was doing the same.

I started to withdraw further and further from him and I think he realised he was loosing his control and became more and more angry, and his behaviour got worse.

I still don't believe he planned to do what he did, but he also had no means of coping with the situation. He liked to feel in control and didn't know how to get it back when he was loosing it. He liked to be the one in the relationship making the decisions, and resented that i insisted on making decisions now. He like to be the one put first and resented our child became my priority. I honestly think he felt threatened by the confidence and maturity motherhood had given me.

As I say, he would never recognise this, but that is my theory. Unfortunately because he won't see it, he won't ever change. I have been less than perfect and have bought ghosts from my previous life into our relationship, but i'm aware of that and am continuing to seek help from a professional.

I honestly think a lot of these men are emotionally immature. They have learned that the get their way is the normal state of things, so they have no idea how to deal with it when they stop getting their way. They stamp, shout, pull down those closest to feel higher and more in control. They use every tactic in the book to maintain that control. Making their supposed love a target of their abusive behaviours as a means to regain their control. That is why they target family and friends, because they are a source of strength and may shed light on unhealthy relationships, and so are therefore a threat 5o the equilibrium. I believe my husband honestly believe all the hideous things he said about my sisters in particular. But that's because they all saw right through him, so he worked hard to put distance between us.

We were 'happy' as a couple when i kept quiet about my opinions and put his needs first'. When that stopped everything else fell apart too. He couldn't tolerate being questioned. Sorry thats a bit long but I hope it helps a bit. Lots of people have said its not my problem why he did it, but i think I needed some rational in my head to help me let go.

WhoamI83 · 08/07/2020 08:16

Hi @JustBeingMoi your husband sounds a lot like mine and a similar order. I also feel like he didn’t do it intentionally but did it none the less and the impact on me was no doubt the same.
I’m struggling at the fact he wants to be friends and prays for my happiness....why.....he is either playing mind games, it’s a psychopath or he genuinely has no idea he did something wrong!

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WhoamI83 · 08/07/2020 08:17

I did what I had to do to survive and I guess he did what he had to do to survive, he just had the wrong idea.

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Jullilora · 08/07/2020 08:21

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JustBeingMoi · 08/07/2020 08:22

@whoami83 it is very difficult isn't it. My hisband has turned on the charm, told me loves me and he misses me and he will change. The minute I question any of that he turns nasty, in sulting me, my family, blaming me for everything. This has been the cycle of my life. And it is a dangerous which has kept me in that situation for too long. Bevause the nice periods make you think there is something to salvage. And it goes on and on until you are desperately low. My strength was my daughter and knowing the situation was going to do harm to her which was something I couldn't tolerate. All the names and the blame and the anger and nastiness I had tolerated, but for her I could see damage it would do and that gave me the strength I needed to get out.

WhoamI83 · 08/07/2020 08:36

Yes I got out because I couldn’t be a mother, I was wasting away. I told him I’m sorry but I have to leave for the children otherwise I will die and they won’t have one. (It really felt like I was dying) He obviously wasn’t happy with me and turned very nasty but is now being nice.

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WhoamI83 · 08/07/2020 08:38

Although I’m not really a great mother at the moment as I’m suffering from the years of abuse. I guess it just takes time and they don’t hear their mum getting shouting at and hiding in the corner.

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Jabba2020 · 08/07/2020 08:39

My ex, I think, genuinely wanted love and to be cared for but having been abused in every way possible by the people that should have loved him unconditionally he was incapable of accepting or giving love.

He had no idea what love was, except a disney fairytale version, the minute something was not perfect it was tainted and that meant I did not love him.

If I did something good, did well at work, bought him something, it meant that I was superior to him and he would put me down to make himself feel better.

Its sad, he was a shell of a person who will never be able to love or feel joy in anything. I believe just living every day hurts him, the conflict he feels in everything destroys him.

Strangely it was relatively ok until we had a child, seeing me love something else was like a trigger for absolute hatred so I had to leave.

Most abusers are damaged souls, it is about them, not you.

WhoamI83 · 08/07/2020 08:42

That makes me feel so sad. I hate that I always feel sad for people and want to help them when it’s not my responsibility.

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Jabba2020 · 08/07/2020 09:01

It is sad and in my exs case there were many many prople who failed him, teachers, police, doctors.

I arrived too late to ever help him, he was offered help but didn't think he needed it.

My responsibility is to myself and my child, if I hadn't have left another child would have witnessed parental abuse and I could not allow that, I was dealing first hand with the consequences of childhood abuse.

Wanting to help people is not a failing, its a fantastic attribute to have but you need to have the right self esteem to go with it.

I wish you the best going forwards, you are doing amazingly well.

You're a great mother, you've stopped your children suffering the same childhood as their father. Never underestimate what a huge leap you took just by leaving him. You should be proud of yourself.

WhoamI83 · 08/07/2020 09:45

You are right and I am happy that my children will not experience it but they are still experiencing a broken family and I’m not so happy about that. I kind of feel like it’s damage limitation now and hopefully they will grow up stronger....depending on what damage he does to their self esteem as he will always be their father and he has the chance to do the same damage to them as he did to me. I need to make sure I am a very strong roll model. It really hard at the moment as it’s all a bit to raw but I’ll do my absolute best.
I just hate this attitude he has now that I’m deliberately making him suffer. I have no intentions for revenge or use the kids as a weapon. I simply want my part of the money so I can move on. It actually hurts me a great deal to b doing this to him but I have no choice.

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Mittens030869 · 08/07/2020 09:50

So can someone who abuses you still genuinely love you if they don’t know what they are doing is wrong?

I honestly don't know. My F certainly claimed to love us, and could be loving towards us. That's why it took so long to realise how abusive he was. I now understand that what he called love was really coercive control.

I suspect the truth is that he genuinely believed that he loved us, but he really didn't know what love was.

user1493413286 · 08/07/2020 09:53

With my ex I felt it was deep seated in his relationship with his mum - he was very much let down by her due to her mental health issues as a child but never felt able to blame her as it wasn’t her fault. Essentially he hated women whilst also craving that love and security which came out in violence and possessiveness

WhoamI83 · 08/07/2020 10:00

@user1493413286 this really rings a bell with some of our arguments when he was drunk. Most of the time he idolised his mum. He wanted to make her life better because of what his dad did to her. But when he was drunk he would say that she ruined his life. They had a chance to move to Australia and out of the “ghetto” he grew up in. She wouldn’t go and leave her family because she knew she would be all alone with an abusive husband. He would say she was weak and I’m just like her. He loved her but it felt like he hated her at the same time for letting his father abuse them all until he finished college because she thought that was the right thing to do. He told me that after she finally left, he was about 18 and working but he didn’t help his mum at all financially. He lived with her, partied, took drugs and she was going hungry.

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WhoamI83 · 08/07/2020 10:02

He wanted us to move countries, he went on for years but I refused. It’s like a pattern!

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Alisonjabub · 08/07/2020 10:11

Much abuse could simply be prevented by stopping alcohol consumption.