What makes you feel your husband is still attracted to you

[hopingtobedally]

As this has been a bit of a sticking point over the years and despite me discussing this many times and him assuring me he does his actions really don't reassure me
So just to see if I'm being unrealistic or whether he just isn't showing signs he is I would like to ask what your OH does that makes you feel he is still attracted to you

He's always groping my bum or physically touching me.

Cuddling me, kissing me before he goes anywhere and when he comes home, holding me while lying on the sofa, of course sex as well. And telling me.

I had one partner who really loved me (still my best friend.) Unfortunately the spark wasn't there for me, but I could tell for all sorts of reasons.

Particularly, he would shower me with compliments.

Also supportive through illness etc.

Tells me I’m beautiful regularly. Is very affectionate and Generally just wants to be close to me, sex or no sex.

I think it’s like a PP said though, actions speak louder than words. If they’re attracted, you just know.

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, it must be pretty upsetting.

It’s hard to explain but there’s an undeniable chemistry between us still. The way he looks at me, touches my hand, draws me into him. He kisses me like he adores me. It’s mad because after having multiple babies with him, I’m definitely physically imperfect to put it mildly but he looks at me like I’m a queen. I feel really sexy walking around naked, in the shower in front of him and he compliments me a lot. Our sex life is still amazing although there are more days now that we’re both too exhausted and drink milky tea together instead.

He is always touching me, saying I'm sexy, and wants to have sex--this is after 12 years.

My husband calls me “pretty face” and I see in his eyes he means it. He always tells me I look gorgeous, pinches my bottom in a playful manner and tells me I haven’t aged in 25 years lol. He is very tactile and loving. He also tells me that he wishes we’d had a little girl, a miniature me.

Nothing. Once I said "do you like my new dress?", he said "why? Do you think you look good?". I think about that often.

But I used to be with a terrible sex pest, and this is way better.

1300cakes my god, that Is really cruel! did he mean it as sarcastically as it reads here? I hope not! is he often like this?

He calls me beautiful even when I'm wearing scruffy pyjamas with my hair scraped up.

There's lots of ways posters feel desired by their husbands but it's an issue if your husband doesn't make you feel like this op

Nothing. He seemed to go off me for months then admitted he found me repulsive...yeah I know what I need to do. Easier said than done. Lovely to hear there are some nice ones out there!

32missperegrinespeculiar no he didn't say it sarcastically at all, it was very matter of fact. I think he genuinely wasn't being rude, he just really couldn't imagine why I'd be asking and why I'd think I looked good.

Like others have said, tries it on at every opportunity. He pays compliments when I look good. I was walking around in underwear yesterday getting ready to go out and he smiled and said "you should walk around like that all the time, it's a nice view". (It's not, I've gone up 2 dress sizes in lockdown)

sigh
I walked in the bedroom naked yesterday and he just looked round me at the telly

This thread has just confirmed all I sadly know already

I think all these women on here saying that their husband shows he's still attracted to them by grabbing and groping are somewhat missing the point.

He compliments me, is very physical and loving And attentive. He tells me often that he loves me, he wants to be in my orbit. We have been together 25 years and he still can’t keep his hands off me. I feel very blessed to know I found my soul mate.

Following as I have doubts as well.

13 years together.

He initiates sex often, which I suppose is better than not, but I feel like he's 'scratching an itch' , doing it for release, rather than attraction.

He doesn't touch me nearly as much as he used to. He does get an erection though on the occasional time he does. If I take my top off, he will touch but it really feels like he is doing it because 'that's what you do' when breasts are in front of you.

He says I look nice if I wear a dress or something for an occasion. He used to compliment my body ie legs etc, but now the only thing he compliments is how my vagina feels

A major sticking point is that he has only gave me oral sex once in the past say 4 years (and that time was when we hadn't seen each other in 8 weeks). He used to do it often. I definitely don't smell or anything like that but something must've put him off. He denies anything is wrong and maintains he does want to (whatever, I don't ask cause that would feel forced). He constantly asks for oral sex though.

Sex is very mechanical, and has dwindled to 2 positions only unless I ask for something different.

Confusing if it's lack of attraction, selfishness, or just too comfortable.

@Arrivederla

“Grabbing and groping” can be quite good fun in a consensual relationship. It does demonstrate desire to touch another and is usually a sign of attraction in a loving relationship.

Although I haven’t written about it upthread, my hubby grabs and gropes me and I love it. If I didn’t, then I’d tell him and as he’s a respectful guy, he wouldn’t do it. I like to have a grope of him too, so it’s all good for us at least.

I personally prefer to call it being sexy, cheeky or being a bit naughty. He will usually complement me as he does it e.g. “I love your peachy bum”

Like it or not, it is illustrative of whether your significant other finds you attractive. There are other ways of showing a person of course. For instance, simply telling them. My husband shows me that he is still attracted to me in a variety of ways and not exclusively by groping or touching.

The op asked for ways other women know their husbands are still ‘attracted’ to them (I assume physically) and being rather touchy feely, is a pretty good indicator. I’d be devastated if my husband lost interest in touching me and wasn’t as playful or complimentary of me.

So, I disagree that it is missing the point.

Why are they missing the point @Arrivederla? The question is about sexual attraction. So a man's inclination to touch you and initiate sex would seem a pretty good indication of that. These partners aren't randomly reaching for any woman because they feel randy, their attraction is focussed on their partner. You using the word 'grope' is twisting it into something else, that you want to portray as negative.

My ex was exactly like some of these unresponsive partners. First time he saw me naked, he said "hmm- nothing actually sags"... I was a lovely size 12 (old days size 12) seventeen year old.... of course nothing bloody sagged! But I didn't have the experience then to run for the hills....

I know my relationship with DP will calm down with the years, but it does feel fundamentally different (even though I am objectively way less lovely now), and the accounts of people over a decade in still being made to feel so special fills me with hope.

My DH doesn't grab or grope me but is always very complimentary and affectionate, even after 30+ years of marriage. He is much more interested in the physical side of marriage than I am, in fact he would probably come on this thread and say 'how do I get my wife to show she is still attracted to me' .

@Arrivederla

No, we fully got the point.

@hopingtobedally I hear you. I dressed up yesterday. I always try to look nice every day, but I went all out yesterday, wore a pretty reveling outfit as well just because I wanted to..... Nothing! So depressing.

@Arrivederla Why are we missing the point? What’s wrong with a couple playfully touching each other in a loving relationship? My DP and I do it to each other all the time. A little squeeze of the bum here or there is fine

My partner tells me everyday how much he lives me, he tells me I'm beautiful and amazing. He holds my hand and looks after me. He makes me cups of tea and snacks, and tidies up.

I’d love to say it’s because he is romantic etc etc but no, I know my DH still finds me attractive because he is always hopeful for some bedroom action. He does also make me endless cups of tea and coffee even though I rarely drink it because I get distracted. He tells me sometimes that I’m looking good but primarily I know because he is after some.

My DP tell me he thinks I’m hot(I’m not really) and sometimes you can tell too! Also the way he looks at me and the little things he does for me without being asked to. I feel the same so it works